30/08/2026
Today I woke up with the heaviness of grief in my heart ❤️🩹
You know that sinking feeling through your heart and down into your solar plexus. The tightness in your chest. The restriction in your throat.
But before I even identified it as grief, anxiety kicked in.
My thoughts started racing, trying to find something to attach the feeling to.
What’s wrong? What happened? What do I need to change? What do I need to fix?
As though if I could find the right problem, I could make the feeling go away.
It’s a pattern I know well. Through years of doing this work, I’ve learnt to catch the spiral, that moment my mind starts desperately searching for a reason for what my body is feeling.
But the grief I felt this morning wasn’t something I needed to fix.
It was something I needed to feel.
To be with. To give love to.
Parenting the little girl in me who was grieving today was a little tricky while also solo parenting my boys with hubby away.
So I got up.
I made us our favourite breakfast and told my boys, “Mummy’s heart feels a little heavy today, so we’re going to have a gentle day.”
I took my little man for a walk to the skate park. We bird watched on the way. We walked in the sunshine. I went on the swing and picked dandelions.
And when the tears needed to come, I let them.
Because moving through big feelings isn’t always about finding the thought that will change them or the solution that will make them disappear.
Sometimes healing is how we care for ourselves in the thick of them.
To let the tears come and still make breakfast.
To grieve and still notice the birds.
To have a heavy heart and still feel the sun on your face.
Allowance instead of resistance.
Compassion instead of panic.
Surrender instead of gripping so tightly.
Healing isn’t always about making the feeling go away.
Maybe sometimes, it’s learning how to love yourself while it’s here.
Always doing this with you, beside you, Tash xx
