Fab the Doula

24/02/2026

I just really LOVE all things birthy. Like I find it fascinating and huge and such a big deal. But when people act like it’s “not that deep”... such a vibe killer.
This is a whole human being being grown and born and mother being made. AND not to be dramatic but We ALL exist because of it, my friend. Let me have my awe 😅

19/02/2026

If your body feels heavy, slow, sore, unrecognisable.
If bending, walking, rolling over, or just existing feels like effort — you’re not broken. You’re not weak. You’re not
“failing pregnancy.”

Late pregnancy isn’t meant to feel efficient.
Your body has shifted its priorities completely.
It’s not optimised for productivity, it’s optimised for gestation.

Right now your body is:
🫶🏽carrying extra blood volume
🫶🏽supporting a placenta that acts like a whole extra organ
🫶🏽 loosening joints and ligaments on purpose
🫶🏽reallocating energy to grow, nourish and prepare a human

Of course everything else feels harder.

And when you add:
👉🏽other kids
👉🏽work
👉🏽 mental load
👉🏽household stuff
👉🏽expectations to “keep up”
..it can feel like too much. Because honestly?
It is A LOT.

So l’d love to offer you a gentle reframe:
This isn’t your body declining... it’s your body changing roles. You are in a season where slowing down isn’t laziness. Needing help isn’t failure. Rest isn’t indulgence. And grief for your old capacity is allowed (even alongside gratitude). You’re already doing something extraordinary even on the days it feels deeply unglamorous. 🫶🏽

17/02/2026

Okay, let’s unpack this. Routine va**nal exams (VEs) in pregnancy and labour? The evidence is weak, Like… more tradition than science.

During labour:
👉🏽Cochrane reviews and other studies show routine VEs don’t reliably track labour progress.
👉🏽Frequent exams don’t improve outcomes for mums or babies.
👉🏽They can actually be uncomfortable, triggering, stressful and disrupt the birthing process.
👉🏽Meanwhile, non-invasive alternatives exist — watching for the “purple line,” behavioural cues, or just paying attention to the birthing person.

During pregnancy:
👉🏽Weekly cervical checks or sweeps in the final weeks? Little to no proven benefit.
👉🏽Fetal position can be checked via abdominal palpation or ultrasound.
👉🏽Overdoing exams may even slightly increase risk of complications (like infection and or membranes rupturing early).

And before anyone comes for me yes, there are absolutely rare situations where a va**nal exam can be useful. Like If there’s a serious clinical concern during pregnancy or labour that will actually change decisions OR If you just want the information.

The bottom line:
Routine VEs are largely tradition over evidence. Consent isn’t a box you tick at your first appointment it’s ongoing, specific and always yours.

Your body, your va**na, your call. If an exam isn’t adding value, it doesn’t need to happen. Period. 🎤

16/02/2026

Yes, Susan… back in your day women didn’t have birth plans. They didn’t have birth plans because, for a long time, women weren’t actually offered many choices. Informed consent wasn’t standard. And zooming out not that long ago women couldn’t vote, own property, or work most jobs either.

So yeah… I’m actually really glad we live in a time where women can ask questions, make plans and be part of the decision-making for their own bodies. Progress can feel spicy, but it’s still progress.✨

07/02/2026

Walking anywhere in the third trimester is basically a full-on expedition. Your body is carrying extra weight, ligaments are stretching, joints are complaining, and your bladder is judging you. Congrats, you’re basically a superhero just walking anywhere 🥰

28/01/2026

You actually don’t have to be afraid of birth. And I don’t mean “just trust your body” and hope for the best.

Knowledge changes everything. It gives you context.
It gives you choice. It gives you that “ohhh okay, I get what’s happening here” feeling.

That’s why I made a free little guide called Birth Without the Fear. Nothing intense. Nothing overwhelming. Just a VERY basic starting point if you’re pregnant (or even just thinking about it) and want somewhere safe to begin.

It’s for the “I don’t want to be terrified but I also don’t know where to start” mums.

Birth doesn’t need you to be fearless. Just a bit more informed.

Free link is in my Instagram bio🤍
Save it for later or send it to someone who needs it.

21/01/2026

That phrase can feel heavy, so let’s slow it right down.

This isn’t about deserving a certain kind of birth.
It’s not about being calm enough, healed enough, or doing pregnancy “right”.

Birth is unpredictable.
Bodies are not machines.
Outcomes are not a reward system.

What can be true is that birth often asks us to use the same muscles we use in life:

✨Voice
✨Boundaries
✨Trust
✨Flexibility
✨Receiving support

So if you’re hoping for a birth where you feel informed, involved, and respected, it can help to start practising agency before labour. Not perfectly. Just gently.

That might look like:
👉🏽 Asking “can you explain that?” instead of automatically agreeing
👉🏽 Not rushing decisions when you don’t have to
👉🏽 Noticing when something feels off in your body and naming it
👉🏽 Choosing rest over people pleasing
👉🏽 Letting someone else hold things for you
👉🏽 Remembering you’re allowed to change your mind

None of this guarantees a certain kind of birth.

And if your birth ends up medical, fast, slow, or nothing like you imagined that is not a failure of preparation or mindset.

You didn’t cause your birth.
You lived inside it.

Birth isn’t a performance or a test. It’s a relationship with your body, your voice and a moment that asks a lot of you. And like any relationship, it can be practised with kindness, not pressure.

16/01/2026

Saying “at least baby is healthy” after someone’s had a traumatic birth isn’t the comfort people think it is. It actually shuts mums down. Birth touches everything: the body, the nervous system, identity, bonding, recovery. It all matters. You’re allowed to love your baby fiercely and still be unpacking a really hard experience.

14/01/2026

Just having a bit of fun 😂 I hesitated posting this…guess I woke up today and chose violence apparently, but honestly… why does every convo about home birth turn into “so you hate hospitals???” Or “I would have died if I had a homebirth” or “my cousins dogs sisters auntie had a bad outcome so home birth must be unsafe”
Big feelings don’t equal big facts.

☕️Here’s the actual tea:
Homebirth is a legitimate, evidence-based model of care not a rebellious personality trait.

For low-risk pregnancies, attended by a qualified midwife, homebirth has been shown to be safe. Not “woo woo safe”. Actual researched, peer reviewed safe.

It’s also associated with:
👉🏽Significantly lower intervention rates
👉🏽Higher maternal satisfaction
👉🏽 Higher breastfeeding rates

And yes, transfers happen — by design. Because midwives not only deeply know their clients wishes but are trained to recognise when birth is no longer unfolding physiologically and when it’s safer to move. That’s not failure, that’s good care. None of this means hospital birth is bad or wrong it just means fear-based one-liners aren’t evidence.

Choose what feels right for your body, your pregnancy, your values.
Autonomy > fear every damn time. 🤍

12/01/2026