02/05/2026
Trigger Warning: Pregnancy Loss 🤍
Tomorrow was my due date. Instead, I reflect and cry over the fact that I birthed my baby boy far too soon at the end of November 2025.
I was 17 weeks pregnant, and after years of trying, I was so happy to have reached that point. Little did I know that I would go to hospital and give birth that very same day - with no warning, no preparation, and no options to save the pregnancy.
My journey into motherhood so far has been filled with hurdles and challenges, and with this loss came the deepest grief I’ve ever known, grieving a being I barely got to spend time with earthside.
I’ve stayed away from social media for a while. What used to feel like a happy place slowly became a battlefield. But lately, I’ve realised this platform can also be a place to express parts of myself that are hard to carry silently. I’ve struggled to engage socially in real life, and so I stayed quiet here too. But today, I’m sharing.
Losing my boy has been soul-crushing. The ache of holding him without seeing him breathe, of giving birth without ever getting to connect our beating hearts together outside my body, the ache of going home empty-handed, hollow, confused, shocked - has been tragic and deeply isolating.
Those first weeks were mostly a blur. I was incredibly lucky to be held by an amazing community of family and friends who showed up with flowers, meals, and love that carried us through. Joey and I created a ceremony with our loved ones to honour and say goodbye to our angel baby. It was a very special moment to feel seen while feeling so broken.
Since then, I’ve continued navigating so much medically, while struggling to reconnect with the way I used to move through life. My incredible husband Joey has held me through all of this, being a ray of sunshine in the darkness.
I miss the child I never got to raise every moment of every day, and I’m learning how to live alongside this pain and emptiness, now that it’s forever part of my story. Hope still feels like a foreign word, but I try to keep a small piece of it somewhere within me.
Sending love to anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss, and honouring all angel babies tonight
