29/08/2026
When a baby is born, the attention goes to the mother. Rightly so — she's recovering from birth, navigating hormonal shifts, and often carrying the primary caregiving load. But the father's experience gets overlooked. Not out of malice. Out of assumption.
The assumption is that dad is fine. Dad is the support. Dad is the one holding everything else together.
But research from the Parent-Infant Research Institute (PIRI) found that 1 in 10 Australian fathers experience depression or anxiety during pregnancy or after the birth of a child. And many of them don't seek help.
The reasons are familiar. Men are socialised to push through. A new dad is supposed to be happy — he has a baby, a family, a new chapter. Admitting that he's struggling, anxious, or flat feels like failing at the one thing he's supposed to get right. There's also the practical reality: between work, sleep deprivation, and a partner who needs support, there's no time to fall apart. So he doesn't. He holds it together. He functions.
PIRI recently launched DadBooster — a free, online program specifically designed for fathers experiencing postnatal depression or anxiety. It's a six-session CBT-based program that dads can do privately, at their own pace. It's an important resource. But online programs work best when they complement, not replace, human support.
Fathers' postnatal depression looks different from what people expect. It's not always sadness. It can be irritability. Withdrawal. Working longer hours to avoid going home. Anger that comes from exhaustion. Numbness toward a baby you expected to feel bonded with instantly. The guilt of not feeling what you're “supposed” to feel. The shame of struggling when your partner is recovering from something far more physically demanding.
These are real experiences. They're common. And they don't make you a bad father or a bad partner.
If you're a new dad and something feels off — not a crisis, just a shift you can't quite name — it's worth talking to someone who isn't your partner, isn't your boss, and isn't your mate who'll tell you to “suck it up.” Counselling is a space where you don't have to perform. Where struggling doesn't mean failing.
Paul Hammat is a PACFA Registered Clinical Counsellor in Keilor, Melbourne, and via telehealth across Australia. No referral required.