Healing With Sass

Healing With Sass 16 years in narcissistic abuse.

Now I help women heal, rebuild & rise after toxic, narcissistic & abusive relationships - without the bullsh*t
Certified Life Coach | NLP Prac | Reiki Master | Bachelor of Psychology
Online worldwide + in-studio Somerville

11/09/2026

๐†๐š๐ฌ๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐๐จ๐ž๐ฌ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฐ๐š๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐›๐ž๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ฏ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ข๐ซ ๐›๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ญ.โฃโฃ
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Sometimes the damage is that you stop believing yourself.โฃโฃ
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๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฒ๐˜ถ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ธ.โฃโฃ
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ.โฃโฃ
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ.โฃโฃ
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถโ€™๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ.โฃโฃ
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถโ€™๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ.โฃโฃ
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜บโ€™๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถโ€™๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ.โฃโฃ
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And eventually, you donโ€™t need them standing there telling you your version is wrong.โฃโฃ
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You start doing it to yourself.โฃโฃ
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๐€๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญโ€™๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ข๐ซ ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ซ๐ญ๐ฌ.โฃโฃ
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That loss of self-trust is one of the things you can carry with you long after the relationship is over.โฃโฃ
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Follow for more on narcissistic abuse, what it does to you โ€” and how you rebuild after it.

10/09/2026

Survival mode doesnโ€™t always look like someone falling to pieces. โฃ
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Sometimes youโ€™re still going to work, paying the bills, looking after everyone and getting s**t done.โฃ
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But underneath all of that?โฃ
โฃ
Your brain is fried.โฃ
You canโ€™t be fu**ed seeing anyone.โฃ
Everything takes ten times longer than it should.โฃ
You lose your s**t over something tiny.โฃ
And someone asks, โ€œWhat do YOU want?โ€ and your brain gives you absolutely fu***ng nothing.โฃ
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When youโ€™ve spent years surviving an abusive relationship, getting out doesnโ€™t necessarily mean all of that s**t just switches off.โฃ
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Sometimes youโ€™re out โ€” but youโ€™re still functioning like youโ€™re barely surviving.โฃ
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And you might not even realise how much itโ€™s affecting you because youโ€™ve gotten so fu***ng used to functioning this way.โฃ
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And yepโ€ฆ there are a LOT more than seven signs. โฃ
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜—๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐Ÿธ.โฃ

09/09/2026

You can leave the relationship and be fu**ed up inside.โฃ
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A door slams.โฃ
Someoneโ€™s tone changes.โฃ
Their face looks different.โฃ
You hear a noise outside at night.โฃ
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๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถโ€™๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ต.โฃ
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Thatโ€™s ๐‡๐˜๐๐„๐‘๐•๐ˆ๐†๐ˆ๐‹๐€๐๐‚๐„.โฃ
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When youโ€™ve spent years watching for tiny changes because they could mean abuse was coming, you get really fu***ng good at noticing everything.โฃ
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And leaving doesnโ€™t necessarily switch that off.โฃ
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You can know youโ€™re safe and still not feel safe.โฃ
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I know because for years after I left, I wouldnโ€™t even go outside at night to put the bloody bins out.โฃ
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He was gone.โฃ
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But my body was still looking for danger everywhere.โฃ
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๐ƒ๐จ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ?โฃ
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I created a free guide for exactly this.โฃ
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Comment ๐“๐‘๐€๐๐๐„๐ƒ and Iโ€™ll send it over.

07/09/2026

๐„๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ค๐ž๐ฉ๐ญ ๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ง๐ .โฃ
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What they were actually seeing was a woman whoโ€™d figured out how to hold a schedule together for everyone to see, while completely falling apart inside.โฃ
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Getting up. โฃ
Getting the kids out the door. โฃ
Showing up to work like a functioning person. โฃ
๐†๐„๐“๐“๐ˆ๐๐† ๐€๐‹๐‹ ๐“๐‡๐„ ๐’๐‡๐ˆ๐“ ๐ƒ๐Ž๐๐„.โฃ
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Nobody would see that as survival mode, because in public I am not visibly struggling, I am not having a breakdown.โฃ
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I looked like I was doing fine.โฃ
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But I wasnโ€™t fine. โฃ
I was miserable, crying, beyond exhausted, and barely keeping it together when I was at home where no one could see me.โฃ
I was quietly dying inside. โฃ
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Leaving him solved the relationship issue. โฃ
But it didnโ€™t touch the sixteen years of damage that he caused.โฃ
That damage showed up as survival mode and a whole lot more.โฃ
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If you are in survival mode, you canโ€™t start repairing all the damage from the relationship and move forward, which is why itโ€™s SO important that you unf**k your survival mode. โฃ
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Looking okay and actually being okay arenโ€™t the same thing. โฃ
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If this sounds like you, I have something that will helpโฃ
๐‚๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ the word ๐“๐ซ๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ž๐ below and I โ€˜ll send it overโฃโฃโฃ

07/09/2026

๐Ÿฉท ITโ€™S HERE ๐Ÿฉท โฃโฃ
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The ๐…๐‘๐„๐„ guide for women who got out of a toxic or abusive relationship โ€” and still canโ€™t move forward.โฃ
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If youโ€™ve ever left a toxic or abusive relationship and wondered why you still feel stuck โ€” this is for you.โฃ
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Itโ€™s a 55-page trauma-informed guide that explains exactly why leaving didnโ€™t fix it, why you still feel trapped, and what to actually do about it. โฃโฃโฃ
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Not affirmations. Not โ€œ๐˜ซ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏโ€ crap. โฃโฃโฃ
๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ ๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐œ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š๐ง๐ฌ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ.โฃโฃโฃ
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๐‚๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ the word ๐“๐ซ๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ž๐ below and I โ€˜ll send it overโฃโฃโฃ

31/08/2026

Where the ๐…๐”๐‚๐Š is my confidence?

Most people believe that after leaving their abusive relationship, that the confidence that was stripped from them - will come back.

๐˜‰๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด.

Because they never had confidence before the relationship.

Itโ€™s what I have seen with my clients and itโ€™s what I also experienced myself.

What I can tell you for sure is that affirmations, positive thinking, motivational self-talk and psyching yourself up does not build confidence.

๐€๐‚๐“๐ˆ๐Ž๐ ๐ƒ๐Ž๐„๐’.

Every little action ๐›๐ฎ๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ฌ ๐ž๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ž
- that ๐›๐ฎ๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ฌ your ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ-๐›๐ž๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐Ÿ
โ€“ that then ๐›๐ฎ๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ฌ ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐Ÿ๐ข๐๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ž.

Sometimes we are forced to do it.
Sometimes itโ€™s the only way we will do it. ๐Ÿ˜‚

And when that happens โ€“ what feels like a nightmare turns out to be your biggest blessing.

๐’๐จ ๐ ๐จ ๐๐จ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฌ๐œ๐š๐ซ๐ž๐ โ€“ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโ€™๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž.

And every time you do โ€” you collect one more piece of evidence that ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ฉ๐š๐›๐ฅ๐ž.

If you are out of your toxic relationship and struggling to move forward, I have created something for you.
๐ƒ๐Œ me the word ๐…๐‘๐„๐„ (๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ด โ€” ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜‹๐˜”๐˜ด) and Iโ€™ll send it over

30/08/2026

There was a time I had no boundaries at all. โฃ
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Anyone could say whatever they wanted, take whatever they wanted, treat me however they wanted โ€” and I didnโ€™t stop them. โฃ
๐ˆ ๐๐ข๐๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ.โฃ
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Then I left, and I built a wall instead. Keep everyone out. โฃ
Nobody gets close enough to hurt me again.โฃ
๐ˆ ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ฅ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐š๐Ÿ๐ž. โฃ
Simple, I thought.โฃ
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Except it wasnโ€™t safety. โฃ
๐˜๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ. โฃ
The wall didnโ€™t just keep the bad people out โ€” it kept the good ones out too. โฃ
๐€๐ง๐ ๐ˆ ๐œ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ ๐ž๐ญ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ž๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ.โฃ
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A wall isnโ€™t a boundary. โฃ
Itโ€™s just a different kind of stuck.โฃ
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The actual answer is a wall with a door โ€” ๐š๐ฅ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐š๐ฌ ๐š ๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐š๐ซ๐ฒ. โฃ
You decide who comes through, and when. โฃ
Not wide open. Not sealed shut.โฃ
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Itโ€™s in your control, who comes in, who gets left out and what you tolerate.โฃ
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Which one have you been living behind โ€” no boundaries, a wall, or a door?โฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃ
โฃโฃโฃโฃโฃ

27/08/2026

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐›๐ซ๐š๐ข๐ง ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ก๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐œ๐ค ๐ฎ๐ฉ?โฃ
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Replaying the same old fu***ng thoughts from the past - on repeat.โฃ
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๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฅ. โฃ
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ. โฃ
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅโ€™๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฅ. โฃ
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅโ€™๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ.โฃ
โฃ
This is called rumination and itโ€™s exhausting.โฃ
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It drains your energy in an instant. โฃ
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Not only that, every time you replay it, youโ€™re re-living it. โฃ
The shame, the guilt, all of it.โฃ
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You ๐ซ๐ž-๐ญ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ ๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ญ๐ซ๐š๐ฎ๐ฆ๐š.โฃ
And the more it runs, the longer you stay stuck in it.โฃ
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Hereโ€™s the good thing though โ€” you can actually interrupt it. โฃ
On purpose. โฃ
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The second you catch yourself back in the loop, do something that snaps the brain out of the pattern. โฃ
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Stand up. Splash cold water on your face. Sing. Dance. Name five things you can see, out loud.โฃ
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Sounds small. But every time you interrupt the rumination loop, the more it starts to lose its grip.โฃ
โฃ
๐˜š๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฌ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏโ€™๐˜ต ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต? โฃ
โฃ
๐ƒ๐Œ me โ€œ๐…๐‘๐„๐„โ€ ๐šnd Iโ€™ll send you something to help. โฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃ
โฃโฃโฃ

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