20/06/2026
Today’s question: Why is it difficult for some people to forgive others and for some peoples it’s not? Can you please explain forgiveness and provide some tips? Will appreciate your answer. Want to keep it anonymous. 😊😊
Answer- What a lovely question. We all struggle time to time forgiving others and also forgiving ourselves! First I am trying to explain what forgiveness is (I am totally googling FORGIVENESS now 😁). I am pretty sure you don’t want a definition or lecture on forgiveness. So let’s just say forgiveness is what you perceive as it is. But see, why it’s easy for some to forgive and very difficult for others because it’s very personal and subjective ways of - “What you want to do about the bitter experiences”. So your action might include anger and vengeance or just forgiving! People instinctively always want to do something about something they don’t want! And Forgiving is an action too.
Forgiveness is also very “Intentional” and “Voluntary”. This “intention” part here is complicated! Because intentions here means loads of things…starting from your self-perception, need of validations from others… to how strong you emotionally is, and what and how your core values act on experiences you have hard time giving up and moving on to. For some people, they can take that voluntary decisions of taking actions (forgiving) no matter what it takes (It will take time, self-care, understanding, not taking everything too personally or taking a higher path, resolving conflicts) and they work on it personally, which means they don’t wait for the person to change, realize or asking for an apology!. Because you can’t control others action, you can only do yours. And some people struggle with taking that actions, because they didn’t quite process it yet voluntarily (they are dedicated to resist)! So they stay angry in thinking of that they are actually doing something about the unwanted situations! Like- being in “I am very angry with you!” attitude and behavior.
If you are asking for tips on how to forgive others easily? Then…Google has so many tips for that, but let me tell you in a very psychological point of view of mine- when you are not at all ready to forgive, its ok, take time. Cause forgiveness at first needs you to be healed and feel well enough (Psychologically and emotionally) to make that choice of action. After your healing, you can simply start with deciding that “I want to forgive” mindset which might require your parts of seeing the big picture and finding peace by letting it go and moving on, cause now you are able to see clearly that holding on to it, isn’t meaningful, productive or peaceful to you anymore! But taking the other action (forgiving) is more peaceful to you now.