Sound Minds Counselling Studio

08/17/2026

When we focus our minds on what is true right now:
⁃ in this moment I am safe
⁃ I have someone who loves and supports me
⁃ I could ask for help
⁃ God has not abandoned me
⁃ …. thousands of other things that could be true for you right now

And we add something we are grateful for:
⁃ the taste of good food
⁃ Having people to love
⁃ Something beautiful
⁃ Something that makes you smile or laugh
⁃ …. Literally a dozen things right now that you could come up with

Our nervous system calms.

We turn from what is creating distress to focus on the things that restore regulation.

Try it - make a little list of three things for each.
Read it.
Breathe in deeply through your nose and out through your mouth.
Notice your body release some of the tension.
You are ok ♥️

08/13/2026

5 Things that can make relationships difficult (but not impossible!)

07/31/2026

I was so grateful for an hour to sit out here this morning and just ground myself into the present. Grounding takes intentional effort and the ability to continually bring myself back to this moment.
My brain would like to use this time to rush ahead and determine all potential tragedies and worst case scenarios (as well as relatively minor hiccups) we may encounter today, tomorrow, and basically the rest of my life, so it can come up with solutions for preventing or mitigating the damage. My brain is brilliant and very creative when it comes to problem planning and solving … but it is wasted energy. And so I sat.
And I simply noticed the world around me.
And this is my journaled response:

Breeze on my skin
Coffee in my mouth
Water trickling in the downspout
Clouds … moving … changing … hiding … revealing
God is here
Remembering to breathe
Scent of post rain air
Cars rushing by on the highway
My body settles
In this moment I am safe
This is the moment that counts

07/19/2026

Things we are not responsible for but sometimes forget:
⁃ The well-being of other adults (including adult children) - we can support but they need to take responsibility for their own wellness
⁃ How others respond to us - not everyone will like us, and that’s ok
⁃ The outcome of decisions other people make - allowing consequences to fall is necessary for growth
⁃ Our parents - when they are capable of being independent - healthy, balanced support and care are normal; feeling like the weight of our parents happiness rests on our shoulders is not
⁃ The weather, the traffic, road construction, illness, unforeseen expenses - it is what it is
⁃ How someone behaves - let go of manipulating, nagging, or cajoling
⁃ World events and politics - It’s ok to step away from conversations with people who thrive in the controversy
⁃ Other people’s viewpoints and opinions - they have the same right we do; let them be
⁃ Every worthwhile cause - find what we are passionate about and support those
⁃ How things turn out - we do what we can and leave the rest in God’s hands

07/18/2026

I had the best mental health day yesterday that I’ve had in quite awhile.
It began on a beautiful lake in a kayak with loons serenading.
My responsibilities were light and enjoyable.
I ate ice cream.
I wished for a foolproof formula to help me have more days like this.
The reality is, there is no formula.
The beauty of being human involves mystery.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t pursue better health, and we consider options like therapy and medication, and we work on healing things that can be healed.
However, even on days we are doing everything right, we can struggle. And on days where we have no fight left, we may be surprised by joy.
I think what I’m trying to say is, don’t lose hope. Accept that some of life may always be a mystery and it’s ok.
But there are going to be good days ahead.
Always!
And if you’ve lost the ability to speak life over yourself, reach out to someone who can.
Be well my friend 💗

06/22/2026

I have an app that uses my watch to measure my heart rate variability to tell me what my stress and energy and health levels look like.

I have been fascinated to notice that every morning my body goes into a “calm” mode - depicted in light blue - where I am in recovery mode.

It happens while I’m reading my Bible and spending time with God.

I recognize how therapeutic it is to spend time with someone who is safe and regulated - we call it co-regulation - and it’s my goal in every counselling session to provide that for my clients.

It’s not surprising that spending time with God, the One who is always regulated (and for me, He is the safest person I’ve ever known) creates a similar response.

I am aware that not everyone would feel this way about God - even when they believe in His existence and understand His role in the universe, and if that is something you would like to explore, I approach theological discussions from a knowledgeable place, with an open heart and empathetic and curious stance.
Book a session where we can dig deep into what you believe and why.

Be at peace my friend 🤍

06/08/2026

Friendships can feel so complicated. Friendships, like any relationship, take work. They require forgiveness and compassion and vulnerability and honesty.
One of the things I hear often when it comes to friendships is “It feels like I’m the only one who initiates getting together or communicating in our friendship.” And that leads to a sense of a one sided relationship - does the other person even want to be my friend?
I have a few thoughts on this:
1. A true friendship should be able to handle an honest conversation - if the friendship means enough to you to fight for it, then perhaps letting your friend know how you feel would be helpful. If you find that you are constantly asking for reassurance it may be something you need to work on in yourself or the friendship isn’t healthy; but it is totally ok to be able to let someone know that you are needing a little additional feedback on how they feel about the friendship.
2. We all have seasons where we have more energy to reach out, and seasons where we are simply grateful that another person is taking the initiative to stay connected because we realize that we are too overwhelmed to do so. When we find ourselves in the latter we can let our friends know that we appreciate them taking a more “responsible” role in the friendship and that we are grateful that they aren’t letting us go.
3. It breaks my heart when, for some, an unhealthy friendship is better than no friends at all. Is a toxic friendship more valuable than no friends at all? My answer would be “no” … with a “but” … having a toxic relationship will be poisonous to becoming the person we have been created to be, BUT the alternative of loneliness may also be harmful. Ideally, I recommend finding opportunities to create different friendships. Join a group of people who enjoy similar interests, take a class - not online! -, or find a church that has people your age and see if they have any groups you can attend. Recognize that this process can feel difficult and it may not be an instant connection with someone new, but unless the opportunities are created the chances of finding a healthier friend or two are limited to your current circumstances.

06/04/2026

I imagine most of us have seasons where we feel like what is required of us is more than we can provide.
It may be the busy season of parenthood, or the requirements of ageing parents, it could be a job where we are often overextended, or complicated relationships we are navigating. The list could go on … and it’s ironic how often it seems that all the difficult things have conspired, and we are being stretched in too many ways!
Being stretched isn’t bad and we don’t want to avoid all uncomfortable experiences; we need them to build the muscles of resilience and courage as we face challenges in healthy ways.
However, just like it isn’t wise to be in the gym 24/7 building muscle, there are times where we need to acknowledge that we have nothing left to give.
Ideally, when we notice the stretching creating injury (to continue my gym analogy) we take a break.
This could look like:
We take a day off, we turn off our devices, we hire a cleaner or childcare provider, talk to a friend, go for therapy, or whatever seems doable to give yourself room to breathe.
I know this isn’t always possible and if this is your story I want you to know you aren’t as alone as you feel.
When we aren’t able to take a break we need to reach out for support. It’s amazing how much space we create in our brains by sharing our burden with someone. What felt impossible before may feel slightly less so.

I am currently heeding my own advice and taking a few days of quiet solitude.
And I know it’s working because I had the creative mental space to write this.

Take care my friends 💗

05/21/2026

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-best-of-you/id1620059010?i=1000768893415

This resonates with me - and may with you as well if you notice yourself being triggered in relationships. I give it all the stars and have ordered the book! 😁

Podcast Episode · The Best of You · May 21 · 56m

05/15/2026

I love counselling and I also love my client-free Fridays.
It’s often a pj day while working in my bookkeeping office. I don’t call it a rest day, but it rests the part of my brain that I use for listening and helping.
Learning to rest can be complicated and it takes practice. There is a difference between resting and escaping. There is a difference between resting and doing nothing. Rest will provide refreshment for your soul.
If all your ‘rest time’ involves consuming - reading, watching a show, scrolling mindlessly, having audio input - it might be worth noting and experimenting with some rest time that eliminates those things. Going for a walk without headphones. Sitting in the sunshine without your phone. Having coffee with a healthy friend.

Well, I’m off to my office where numbers always make sense, coffee is welcome, and pjs are considered adequate. Practically bliss 😉
Happy Friday my friend 💗