Survivor Inside

11/06/2026

They believed me. But nothing changed.

I spoke up. First and foremost because I could not keep carrying it alone anymore. For so long, I felt unheard, unseen, unsupported. Invisible. Not only to him, but everyone at the sideline.

People noticed pieces of it, saw something was wrong. Some even said it out loud. Whilst I was still shutting up about the large part of the abuse.

When I finally found the courage to say more and stop softening the words around what happened to me, I hoped something would shift.

I think a part of me believed that if people really knew, I would stop feeling so alone. But the person who abused me is still welcome in the same context where I told the truth.

And that hurts in a way I don’t even know how to explain. Yes, there was support, acknowledgement.
But then nothing really changed. There was no real consequence. No real responsibility. No clear line that said, what happened to you matters enough for us to act differently.

Just like before.
And somehow, that makes me feel invisible all over again, even more so.

The same voice urging to speak out is asking whether I should have stayed quiet. Whether it makes me cruel, unjust, dramatic. As i’ve been accused of so many times anyway.
The same doubt. If someone outside can even grasp the depths of the psychological warfare. I guess they can’t.

I am excluding myself once again, to protect my peace, but at the cost of the same isolation.

Its been the loneliest parts of speaking up.
People can believe you, they can support you emotionally, and still avoid accountability in practice. Say they understand, and still leave you standing in the same room as the person who broke you, smiling.

I thought telling the truth would feel liberating.
But I’m realizing silence wasn’t the only thing that made me feel unseen. Sometimes being believed, but not protected, hurts even more.

I am trying to remember that speaking the truth about what happened to me is not the same as becoming someone I am not.

Even if it means I still stand alone.
I do stand with the facts.

04/06/2026

13/01/2024

Aaaand back to this account as life got tough 😅 We'll survive, but damn.

Intention to make this ig active again, focussing on personal growth instead of understanding other parties so much.

What do you think?

15/11/2022

https://youtu.be/jz9CVFKRK6s

ATTENTION: This channel is for learning and educational purposes. Learning and education are fundamental and important in today's society and becoming increa...

29/05/2022

The BIFF method by Bill Eddy is a great way to maintain in control of the situation when someone communicates with a lot of hostility or emotion usually in written form.

Messages like this are triggering and often cause an urge to respond defensive or counter with the emotions it causes for the receiver of this uncalled for intensity.
How ever this usually only adds fuel to the fire and it's a great quality to be able to difuse the situation by giving a clear but firm response and take the highway by maintaining a calm and friendly posture.

That is what the BIFF method provides, a framework to assess your response to hostility.

Is your response... BIFF?

Brief: Keep it short, typically a paragraph. This is even when the comment you’re responding to goes on for many paragraphs or pages. This leaves less for the other person to react to and is often sufficient to get your main point. A short reply that only addresses what needs adressing. No biting into everything opted.

Informative: Give some straight information, rather than emotions, opinions, defenses or arguments. You don’t need to defend yourself when another person is being hostile. It’s not about you. It’s about their inability to manage their emotions and responses. Just stay focused on providing relevant information.

- Friendly: Be graceful and still add the general courtesy to your communication that you would to anyone else. This may seem hard to do when you’re being attacked in writing or verbally. But it avoids feeding the hostilities and may even calm an upset person. Just a friendly greeting and closing; nothing too involved. This helps keep the hostilities from escalating. It also shows that you have good self-restraint. The next point makes sure you are not being walked over.

- Firm: This means that you end the conversation rather than feeding the hostilities. It doesn’t mean harsh. Just avoid anything that opens the door to more hostile comments back. Say something that calmly ends the conversation. Sometimes, you will need a response from the other person, so just ask a question seeking a Yes or No answer by such-and-such time and/or date.

21/04/2022

Character is built 💪🏻

💛

Follow for more 𝗘𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 and 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁
𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘰𝘳 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦] ✨

As always
➴ Join us at the Survivor Network on Discord
➴ Check out the Survivor Store
➴ Links in bio 𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘰𝘳 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦]

03/04/2022

Type 'Yes' if you agree!

💛

Follow for more 𝗘𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 and 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁
𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘰𝘳 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦] ✨

➴ Join us at the Survivor Network on Discord
➴ Check out the Survivor Store
➴ Links in bio 𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘰𝘳 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦]

20/12/2021

💛

Follow for more 𝗘𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 and 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁
𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘰𝘳 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦] ✨

As always
➴ Join us at the Survivor Network on Discord
➴ Check out the Survivor Store
➴ Links in bio 𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘰𝘳 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦]

19/08/2021

In our new paper, published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, we describe the distinct types – and what motivates them.

24/07/2021