22/11/2021
You know you can start over anytime right? 💋Lately I have been reflecting on all the times I have started over in the last 15 years. I built a new friend group in college then left at 23 and started over in Thailand, then in Mexico, then in Indonesia... I went from working with women to teaching scuba diving to working on yachts to working in skydiving... I've found work and friends and love in every corner of the world and found a home in myself more and more with each move and reintroduction.
Every time I've started over I've gotten better at answering the questions about who I am and what I want in the world. I have had my privilege checked and my ignorance challenged and gotten to see more clearly my place on this planet, as a citizen of the world not just of a nation. I have learned that we have more to unite us than divide us and I am reminded of the resiliency of the aunthentically expressed human spirit. I have had to mourn the completion of one life while holding space for the new potential creation.
I have learned when to leave... the relationship, the party, the country, the job. I have found my edges along the way and learned that when I let go, I create space for something new. It is profound really. Goodbyes used to destroy me. But now, goodbye is only "see you later" or "see you never" and it doesn't really matter cuz I will cross oceans for you if I want to see you, I know that now. So my world gets smaller but my hellos get bigger! Every line I draw where I say, "this isn't good enough for me" is returned by what is. I have surrendered to starting over... continuously... to being in a constant state of departure while always arriving. I have finally gotten good at goodbyes and starting over. Now that I know I can... I am reminded of the freedom in knowing I could pivot to something or somewhere else at any moment, and thats not just okay but MORE THAN OKAY! And actually incredibly empowering! That knowing, for me, is everything. So i just wanted to remind you that the feeling you have of being stuck, that's on you. So, let go of the dream that isn't any longer a dream, without remorse! And allow yourself the space to start over... whenever.