Have a Word with Yourself

16/10/2026

Control - a mothers blindspot.

I consider myself to be a flexibly minded person and pretty comfortable going with the flow so because of this, I’ve never really considered myself as having an issue with control. Generally, I’m happy to be accommodating and adjust to others needs and because of that, I didn’t realise that the need to control was on my radar, until it showed up this week.

My children are my training ground that uncover whatever’s going on in me and this week it showed up in realising that control can sometimes be hidden under the disguise of a mother's love and responsibility.

With the building excitement of an upcoming school trip, an issue that one of my sons has been experiencing for a while suddenly became more pronounced in my awareness along with the urge to make it my responsibility to fix and take charge of. This wasn’t due to him experiencing more difficulty or worry over the issue, but instead the fear based thoughts of ‘what if’s’ that were bubbling up inside me and the meaning I’d given them.

Initially I didn’t recognise this need to help/fix the situation as a need to control, but it was.

I was suddenly needing his issue to change so that it would stop my thoughts about something that I was imagining as a potential problem. I was feeling upset at the idea that he wouldn’t enjoy the trip if the issue didn’t resolve immediately. In my mind, it was my job and responsibility as a loving mother, to help him to overcome the issue, but when ‘helping’ backfired like a shaken can in my face, I could see that it was me trying to find relief from the discomfort of my thoughts and what I thought it meant if it didn’t resolve. My mind was creating a problem from my thoughts which led to the uncomfortable emotions and my need to control the issue. Even though it was a well intentioned motive of wanting the best experience for him, I wasn’t being present with what was actually happening.

When I finally saw this as MY issue rather than his, it helped me step back to reflect on why as a mother I sometimes confuse my need to fix, as love. I don't doubt my love for my children but seeing my need to control the situation that was in my head rather than in reality, wasn’t just causing me unnecessary angst but also not helpful for my son either. The more I was trying to fix the issue with my well intentioned but unwanted ‘help’, the more he resisted and we spiralled head first into frustration and anger.

I know that biologically speaking, we are designed to protect, nurture and shield our children for their survival and this is a strong part of our identity as well as our character types but we don’t always apply it in a healthy manner or realise that we’re unintentionally not helping by not recognising our underlying motives. I may have thought I was acting as a responsible loving mother, but I was actually being motivated by control to try to fix the feeling going on inside of me.

It became clear that this he wasn’t in need of my help to fix his issue and was completely unaware of my mind’s crazy-town storyboard, so naturally my attempts to help him were going to be met with resistance and irritation.

What helped us after our clash was being aware of how I was perceiving the situation and my willingness to want to change that, rather than change a behaviour in him. I know that I don't know everything that’s at play in my mind or my children’s minds and by reminding myself of this I was able to return to clarity and calm. What seemed so pressing and worrisome one minute, become an ‘aha moment’ the next and thankfully peace resumed for us both.

By accepting the situation from an objective viewpoint and letting the present moment be seen without a fear and worry filter disguising it as something else, I could see it from a clearer angle. The truth is that my son has zero worries or concerns about the issue he’s currently dealing with and he wasn’t worried about it causing him any problems on the trip, he’s excited and counting down the days focusing on the fun and adventure that awaits him.

This need to control is a well practiced mechanism of motherhood, we love our children deeply and want the best for them so it’s normal to feel like we must be the ones to always make it happen but, beyond the healthy boundaries of guidance, love and care, we have to be willing to perceive ourselves clearly, check our motives and the roles we’re playing in their development so that we’re not unknowingly causing unnecessary stresses for them or us.

What helps me greatly is integrating Ho’oponopono into my daily life as a way of returning to peace and clarity. It gives me a practical method of reconnecting to myself and to the bigger picture that's at play throughout all my life’s experiences. This connection helps my nervous system to relax and my mind to loosen it’s grip on the validity of my thoughts in testing moments.

Here's how I applied the key phrases to my situation this week:

I’m sorry for all the times I’ve unknowingly mistaken control as love and responsibility
Please forgive me for the suffering this has caused me and others to experience
Thank you for realigning me with the truth of the present moment
I love you, I let go and let God.

Our worries and fears are like the clouds, temporarily covering the sun but floating away without our need to make them move - or you can try blowing them out the way and end up deflated and defeated like I was earlier this week!

We can sometimes feel guilty too in letting go of our worries and fears and hold onto them like a medal of honourable suffering but for what benefit?! We can let go and let God return us to the truth of any situation peacefully when we are willing to lay down our need to control the world outside of ourselves. Despite how we perceive ourselves, we’re not doing life alone and by trusting in the greater love and guidance that’s always available to us, we automatically open the doors for that same love to flow to our loved ones also.

I hope my anecdote brings you comfort and confidence to be willing to see yourself and others in a more loving light this week! For more information about nervous system regulation using frequency and brain entrainment, please email me at [email protected]

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09/10/2026

Love or Fear - Which path do I choose?

One of the most challenging parts of emotional healing after experiencing any form of deep emotional hurt can be trusting in love again. I'm not just talking about love in the sentimental way but the day-to-day living from love as love and letting love be what motivates your actions. When your guard has gone up from whatever experience left it’s mark on you, its completely understandable that you feel less trusting in where and how you express love. This is a sad consequence of unhealed emotional pain. It overlays a fear filter on top of how you perceive everything and everyone from the memory of the past hurt. This makes it difficult to see through the clouds that are hiding your true essence and keeps you in a ‘safe’ but separated state.

I know this because I’ve been there and it’s taken me a hot minute to realise that even despite my best efforts to thoroughly understand myself and others, some aspects of healing took longer than others and I can finally, comfortably say that, I’m ok with that. What changed was not the circumstances in which I found myself initially, but my being able to see myself from a perspective that meant that I could finally be completely honest about how I was relating to the world. After being brutally honesty with myself, came the uncomfortable thoughts and the equally uncomfortable emotions but instead of letting these patterns keep running by pushing them away as bad unwanted thoughts and feelings, I chose to see them all and accept them for what they are, a part of my me surfacing to be acknowledged. I chose to love all these parts of myself, my past, my memories and even the hurt that provided me with the much needed solace I needed during one stage of my life.

The more I started to love on myself this way, the more my life reflected my true Self back to me. Life started shifting in unexpected ways confirming to me that it was safe to choose love, it was safe to trust again and maybe it had been safe all along but I just wasn’t able to see it from the perspective that I was guarding so strongly. My inner world from my past was finally being acknowledged and loved in the present moment in the way that stopped the inner conflict and as a consequence, took with it the fear and guardedness that had been holding me back. The peace and freedom this gives me now is deeply comforting and is changing the course of my life in ways that amaze me every day!

I’m not saying that life becomes all sunshine and butterflies, this week I had an unexpected dental visit which left me a tooth down and a future repair cost that made me wince but the difference is, I didn’t add onto the situation any guilt, shame, anger and fear like I would have in the past. I let these parts of myself be acknowledged lovingly and I chose to get it fixed up without delay. By doing so, everything arranged perfectly for me and my recovery has been quick and easy so far.


When anything happens in life we automatically start questioning ourselves, look for a meaning and feel the emotional charge based on what we’ve already experienced. This is our innate human programming of pattern recognition and is interwoven into our nervous systems as a safety feature. It’s not a bad thing, it keeps us out of harms way and gives us a visceral insight into what we’re experiencing but, it’s not just carrying the information of the present moment, it’s carrying our entire memory of experiences. If the nervous system has been stretched beyond its healthy limits and hasn’t recovered back to a regulated state, it’s running on high alert which makes seeing clearly and sensing what is actually present, very difficult. Thoughts that accompany a deregulated nervous system might sound like…

I have to be suspicious of everyone to be safe
I have to hold back my desire to give so Im not taken advantage of
I can't back down because I'll appear weak
I need to protect myself from the danger and threat that’s out there
Being kind, open and vulnerable is too risky in this world
Being open leaves me open to being hurt again
I’ll look naive, stupid, like a door mat for letting it go
Love makes me weak and loose sight of my identity
I don’t want to feel abandoned by loved ones again
If my love isn’t reciprocated, it proves there is something wrong with me
It’s better to not get involved and stay comfortable as I am

These fear motivated examples of thoughts are the ego’s way of acting like a doorman - it thinks you need protecting based on the past hurt that you’ve already experienced but because it’s only drawing from the past, its discolouring the actual present truth before you. You don’t need to be angry or ashamed at yourself for having these kinds of thoughts, you can just acknowledge the them and let them help you to identify what meaning it’s making you feel about yourself ie. protective, foolish, guarded, rejected, fearful etc

Once you’ve seen the emotional hurt at it’s root, it’s easier to understand why your thoughts are trying to keep you in a defensive state but the real flex here is to see it and choose to move from love anyway.

To be clear, moving from love is not asking you to ignore a situation or problem nor is it putting yourself in any kind of harms way. The first responsibility you have is to yourself in protecting your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Sometimes this may mean removing yourself from a situation or distancing yourself from a person in order to give yourself the time you need to process what’s happening. This in itself is moving from self-love.

Choosing to move from love is recognising that in whatever moment you’re facing, there are two paths, one towards love in the form of compassion, forgiveness, kindness, connection, support or the other path which is fear motivated through judgement, condemnation and separation.

In my personal experience, choosing to follow the path of love has opened me up to higher guidance and many serendipitous events, whereas the fear path despite my best efforts was leading me only into separation, isolation and dead ends. The more I trust being safe to move from love, the more my life reflects this back to me making my day-to-day living flow easily and peacefully despite life’s challenges.

I choose to move from love because it is who I am. We think that life’s experiences change our ability to love ourselves and each other but that isn’t the truth. When you lead from love you become fully coherent in mind, body and spirit and that coherence becomes the alignment with your divine Self, cleaning your perception of the world in which you live in the most magnificent ways.

Whether you believe it or not, we are all loved unconditionally by that which created us. By choosing to return to this love and recognising yourself as love, you’re on the path to remembering the essence of who you are and experiencing life in it’s most fulfilling ways.

If you’d like to know more about the frequency process that I provide that helps regulate the physical and non-physical parts of yourself using entrainment, please email me for more info at [email protected]
© 2026 all rights reserved.

30/09/2026

Here’s a different perspective on sickness and illness for the season of coughs and colds and whatever new lurgy may or may not be heading out this year.

When we get sick we don’t just feel it physically but mentally too by becoming annoyed at the inconvenience of it. This can lead to us questioning ourselves as to why, who and where we picked it up from, as if solving it will make us feel better by blaming it on something outside of ourselves. What we don’t realise is that by doing this, we’re adding an extra layer of suffering into the mix, purely by how we’re perceiving it. What’s important to remember is that, we are the ones doing this to ourselves, no one is forcing us to think or perceive ourselves this way, it’s an automatic response practiced many times throughout our lives. No surprise, it comes from our subconscious memory data bank. Whilst we’re accountable for it playing out through us, that doesn’t make us to blame for it happening and feeling guilty for being unwell is the absolute last thing that will help recovery.

So, what if we could let go of the need to analyse ourselves in such a way and think about what our body is trying to tell us instead.

Our immune systems become compromised when we ignore the signs to slow down and take care of ourselves. We know that stress and anger are particularly damaging to our Immunoglobulin levels (link to study paper in comments) This is the first line of defence for our immune system that covers our cells with a protective layer against bacteria and viruses.

More stress and anger = less immune protection

Our mind and body are constantly influencing each other, so by consciously using our thoughts to give ourselves compassion and kindness, we can actually increase our IgA levels to boosts our immune function and recovery times.

This is not think happy therapy, this is fact based, studied and medically documented responses to our interconnected mental and physiological well-being.

Being able to recognise when we’re tired, overworked, stressed or nutritionally lacking and giving ourselves what we need - more care, less self judgement, rest, fresh air and good food instead of pushing ourselves beyond our healthy limits - is the key to staying well and being able to recover quickly.

Next time you feel any negativity towards yourself for feeling unwell, accept that it's an old memory playing in you and be wiling to try to see it differently. This will help alter your perception of the sickness as being something that’s wrong with you or as something that means anything about you. Let your thoughts move away from self judgement and anger to compassionate, caring and self loving ones.

Your body is asking you to slow down, not for you to get annoyed or frustrated with it but to listen and give yourself more of what it needs in that present moment.

You could try saying this to yourself to allow for a shift in perspective;

I’m sorry for whatever in me feels angry, disappointed and frustrated with myself when I experience illness.

Please forgive me for my unawareness of these thought patterns and the suffering that it adds to my experience

Thank you for showing me what my body is asking for and releasing these unwanted thoughts, feelings and emotions that impede my recovery

I love you, I let go of anything that is not helping my mind, body and spirit to return to full health and peace.

These simple self acknowledging statements offer a practical method to help you to shift your own perception when you are feeling under the weather. They’ll help to realign your thoughts and how you perceive the illness to support your recovery and immune responses within your body.

Where the mind leads, the body follows.

If you’d like to know how I use frequencies, brain entrainment and sub-audible statements to regulate, stabilise and balance the mind, body and spirit for optimal health and well-being, feel free to get in touch the usual way.

Thank you.

Have a Word with Yourself © 2026. All rights reserved

26/09/2026

We can learn about awareness, live healthy lifestyles, pray and follow gurus and whilst each of these things will indeed help us to focus on our inner worlds, they alone will not bring us back to lasting peace without having taken care of what is at the heart of all of us.

Our inner child, also known as the subconscious or the Unihipili often gets overlooked and undervalued because it’s the part of us that we're for the most part unaware of. It’s the silent partner that’s running the show behind all of our conscious thoughts, feelings, beliefs and actions.

Our inner child doesn’t recycle only the good memories we've stored from our past, it also reflects back to us the memories of all the times we felt dismissed, neglected, abandoned and unloved. When we were children we had limited emotional maturity and much less capacity to understand other peoples perspectives, so when someone, usually an adult, upset or emotionally impacted us, we weren't able to reason with it and believed it was because of something that we did or didn’t do right. We took the blame and made it our fault, by default.

Those that were brought up in homes with emotionally mature parents that apologised to their children and comforted them after outbursts or letdowns would greatly reduce the emotional impact them, but as with many families, most parents would just move on silently from the situation with the ‘less said, soon is mended’ attitude to their unconscious behaviour, not realising the emotional consequences it was having on them.

The good news is, whatever we've been impacted by in our past and stored, it's in our hands now to heal whatever our inner child is bringing to the table.

If we can learn to say sorry to ourselves in the moments that trigger us, we’re effectively re-parenting ourselves using the same accountability practice that our parents / adults didn’t have the awareness to do for us in our childhood. Giving love back to your inner child in the present moment thats showing you what’s playing out through your emotions, thoughts and beliefs, is where true healing begins.

Those of us on the inner work path know that it’s one thing to have blissful moments after meditation or in solitude but it’s another to sustain that blissful state out in the world. This is where most of us get frustrated, annoyed and impatient with the very part of ourselves that's asking for the exact opposite! The inner child is not looking for correction or intellectual explanation of why it feels the way it does, it’s looking for your acceptance, care and presence to see it, not as a flawed part of yourself but as an underlying part asking to be seen and loved and made right within yourself.

The next time you catch yourself in a state that goes against all of your inner work efforts, notice how you feel about yourself in that moment. If you feel angry or disappointed for loosing your awareness, say sorry to yourself for feeling like this defines you, forgive yourself for the temporary loss of awareness, thank yourself for having the awareness now to see clearly and the most important part, tell yourself and more specifically your inner child - I love you and I’m here now to give you the patience, presence and love that caused you to mis-believe that any of these feelings and emotions that you’re experiencing are who you are. Let it go with love and breathe.

When we were children we didn’t notice all the things that we were absorbing around us or the impact it has on us throughout our lives. We don’t need to unpick our inner child to know how it’s been affected, we can just look at ourselves in the present moment and see how it’s playing out through us via our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and perceptions of the world. When we make peace with ourselves at the inner child level, peace is what we live, breathe and perceive everything else through.

The 21-day subconscious frequency treatment combines music and frequencies to assist you in reaching a meditative state through brainwave entrainment, nervous system regulation and sub-audible statements that speak to your inner child with love and acceptance. The treatment is designed to support you as you reconnect to all parts of yourself without judgement of anything that surfaces.

For more info about that you can contact me at [email protected]

Have a Word with Yourself © 2026. All rights reserved.

22/09/2026

21/09/2026

With all the information and content overloading our feeds and screens, it’s no wonder that we feel more disconnected from ourselves and each other these days. Information is great and serves us in many ways but it can also keep us in a loop of endlessly trying to figure things out. I know, I’ve been there, a lot!

When I catch myself in this familiar behaviour cycle nowadays, I notice it and instead of berating myself for being back there again, I stop and take a breath. I recognise it, acknowledge it being active within me and forgive myself for having fallen back into the unconscious behaviour pattern. By owning it, I can forgive myself without making it into a problem to fix and be grateful that I caught it and am aware of it. From here I have the choice to let the pattern keep running or I can choose to stop and let it go.

When we notice anything about ourselves that we’re doing that we don’t like, a behaviour, a reaction, a physical discomfort, we try to figure it out which is a natural response to our human conditioning. We want to know why it happened, what we’ve done wrong, how we can fix it and try to micro manage the experience rather than letting it be just that - something in our experience.

None of us want to suffer anything longer than is absolutely necessary but we don’t always realise that we are choosing to prolong the suffering through our thoughts, perception and need to control. When you see yourself or any aspect of yourself such as the ego as the problem in the equation - for having experienced something that you didn’t like, you’re resisting the process of releasing whatever it’s brought up within you and it’s now become an extra problem to fix, manage and control. When we forgive ourselves for the unconscious behaviours surfacing with self- compassion and kindness, we create a clean path for releasing it fully from our subconscious memory. We can experience all our feelings without them destabilising us when we make peace with all aspects of ourselves without self-judgement.

In moments that I notice myself trying to make sense or understand something that’s come in my awareness, I remind myself that I do not need to be aware of everything, understand or control the experience and I choose to clean my perception using Ho’oponopono.

I’m sorry - please forgive me - thank you - I love you.

A simple, quick and practical method which I apply to all aspects of my life to help me return to clarity, peace and flow.

If you're willing, try it out for yourself today without the need to understand it or expectations of the outcome and see how it shifts your perception in any moment.

Have a Word with Yourself Have a word with yourself 2026 © All rights reserved.

13/09/2026

Where is your finger pointing?

When our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies are unified- our consciousness rises helping us to clearly perceive the world outside of ourselves as an extension of what’s within us. Until we become comfortable with this perception, our ego convinces us that the world is happening to us and we react to it rather than take accountability for our part in what we’re unconsciously creating.

A Course in Miracles, Ho’oponopono and many other spiritual practices help to guide us back to the unification of ourselves through the process of self awareness, understanding and higher power so that we can choose in any moment to be led away from fear and separation driven by the ego and memory and back to love, peace, truth and unity.

So what takes us out of peace? Something happens and immediately our thoughts and emotions react taking us down the familiar ego driven path of fear, conflict, worry, envy, judgement etc. What starts as one thought, quickly becomes an emotional sensation felt in the body's nervous system and then arrives another thought trying to figure out or fix the feeling followed by a belief about what we think is going on and before we know it, our mind has hiked up misery mountain and is anything but peaceful. From here we act and our inner disharmony is reflected back to us externally confirming to our ego that it was right to be angry, suspicious, defensive, whatever - adios clarity and peace!

The world out there becomes the problem, not our internal state that creates the world as we perceive it - this is the error.

Without the awareness to clean up our perception in these triggering moments, our actions will follow our thoughts and emotions leading us further into the mindset of separation. We know that our subconscious mind is the driver of 95% of our thoughts so we have to accept that the vast majority of our thoughts are coming from an unknown part of us. We don’t need to understand why we think something or make it mean anything about us, we just have to be aware and willing to want to clean our perception in these moments in order to break the autopilot thats quietly running us in the background. Our thoughts are not truths, they’re echos from our past that see the present moment through a memory filter. They can be as helpful as they can be unhelpful so we have to be discerning with how we use our mental energy and notice where our thoughts are taking us.

An external event may act as a trigger but it’s your mind that does everything else that leads to suffering the consequences, so, it’s therefore 100% your responsibility to notice and take accountability of your thoughts so that you can choose your path wisely. You don’t have to make them into a big deal or a problem to fix, just notice the thoughts in your awareness and see how they’re influencing you in any moment. If they’re taking you out of peace, notice that, pause with it and choose to move from there.

Ho’oponopono - I’m sorry - please forgive me - thank you - I love you is a simple and practical way that you could choose to do this in any moment of pause that calls for it.

The 4 phrases take accountability for your thoughts, ask you to forgive all that you carry unknowingly (subconsciously) show gratitude for seeing what needs cleaning up in your awareness and love for being realigned back to truth and peace by Divinity/God.

See for yourself how you feel after saying the phrases silently or allowed anytime your thoughts take you out of your present peaceful state.

I’m running small group sessions that focus on nervous system and emotional regulation using breath, frequencies and meditation to reduce reactivity to life’s triggers. I’ll be offering practical ways of unifying the mind, body and spirit for optimal balance and well-being. If that sounds like something you’d like to be a part of, get in touch by email [email protected] or comment and I’ll send you my WhatsApp group info.

Thank you!

Have a Word with Yourself 2026 © All rights reserved.