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Calmness Through Cancer with Sue, Bawtry (2026)

04/09/2026

I follow a few other cancer patients’ journeys and I know that hearing what other people say, helps me know that I’m not alone in my own.

I just read this and wanted to share, because I couldn’t have written it better myself….

I think one of the hardest things about cancer is realizing that everyone else eventually gets to go back to their normal life… while you’re still trying to figure out what yours looks like now.

During treatment, there’s always something you’re working toward.

Just get through this surgery.
Just get through this chemo.
Just make it through radiation.
Just make it to the next appointment.

You tell yourself, “Once I get through this, things will start getting back to normal.”

But then you get there.

And you realise recovery has its own timeline.

Your body has been through SO much. There can still be pain, weakness, exhaustion, medications, side effects, scans and appointments. Then there’s the mental part nobody can see…the fear, the anxiety and trying to process everything you’ve survived.

Meanwhile, the world keeps moving.

I am SO thankful to be getting further away from treatment. I know what a blessing that is.

But I also want people to understand that someone finishing cancer treatment doesn’t mean they suddenly stop needing support.

Please keep checking on them.

Even months later.

Even when their hair starts growing back.

Even when they look healthy in pictures.

Even when they’re laughing and posting and trying to live their life again.

Because sometimes “getting better” and “completely back to normal” are two very different things. 💗

02/09/2026

Well I went for my heart scan today. (This is because I’m on immunotherapy injections for HER2 positive breast cancer).

The drug is called Herceptin and given with chemotherapy, decreases the chances of the BC returning. However, it can have an adverse effect on the heart, so your heart is monitored every few months.

The thing I didn’t realise when being diagnosed with cancer, was the number of side effects caused by all the different treatments.
I simply thought chemo made you sick and your hair might fall out.

Turns out, I was never sick, but my hair did fall out, along with my lashes and brows..

But, how little I knew!

There’s the fatigue, the aches and pains, the strange sensations, the sleep disturbances, the hot flushes, the blood tests, the scans, the medications to deal with the side effects of the medications… and then the side effects of THOSE medications! 🤦‍♀️

And just when you think you’ve finished one treatment, along comes another one.

But today I found myself thinking about things differently.

A few weeks ago I was having chemotherapy every week, then radiotherapy every day, and now I’m having my heart checked so I can continue with the treatment that is helping to reduce the chances of this bloody disease coming back.

That’s actually a pretty positive place to be.

My body has been through an awful lot this year — and it’s still here, still fighting, still healing and getting stronger.

So I’m choosing to see today’s heart scan not as another reminder of cancer, but as another step towards getting through it safely.

And if my heart passes its MOT, I’ll be absolutely delighted. 😂❤️

One day at a time…
One scan at a time…
One result at a time…
One injection at a time…

I am so so grateful for the NHS and its incredible Cancer Services.
Being grateful for the scans and treatments actually makes it less difficult to deal with, because let’s face it, what’s the alternative?!

31/08/2026

I have several hospital appointments coming up.
I have three letters (by post), two by email and one by text.

I thought I better sit and make sure they’re all in my diary…

Of course, I’ve discovered that two are on the same day, same morning, only 50 minutes apart, but an hours drive from each other.

Now it should be simple to just ring one up and change it. And that’s what I’ll do tomorrow…

So why am I now having a mini panic attack?!

I mean, logically, I know it’s just a phone call. One appointment gets moved. Problem solved.

But apparently my brain has decided this is the moment to go into full-blown “OH MY GOD, WE’VE FOUND A PROBLEM!” mode. 😂

After everything I’ve been through this year, you’d think I’d be pretty good at dealing with a little diary clash.

Apparently not.

I’ve got six hospital appointments, several different departments, three different ways of being contacted… and a diary that is now starting to look like the control room at Heathrow. ✈️😂

Anyway, I shall put my big girl pants on, make the phone call tomorrow and sort it out.

Unless, of course, I discover another appointment hiding somewhere.

At this point, I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if one of them is scheduled for Tuesday at 3.17pm… in Australia. 😂

Honestly, sometimes it’s not the cancer treatment that sends you over the edge.

It’s the bloody diary. 🤣

30/08/2026

I couldn’t stand the fluff anymore!

I literally had 20% of my hair left, frazzled by chemo and every time I looked in the mirror I felt like a demented 100 year old orangutan!

I could see shoots of new, stronger hair growing through, so I decided to buzz the fluff and start afresh.

Let’s see what happens…

29/08/2026

Well… I have to admit, I’ve had a few days where I’ve really struggled.

When you finish chemotherapy, you somehow imagine (hope) you’ll wake up the next morning feeling fabulous and ready to get your life back.

Sadly, my body didn’t get that particular memo. 😂

Recovery takes much longer than I expected.

Radiotherapy meant travelling to a different hospital, further away and right in the centre of Sheffield, every day, through roadworks, and horrendous traffic.
Add in the constant nosebleeds I’ve been having, and the travelling backwards and forwards became pretty exhausting.

But… RADIOTHERAPY IS FINISHED! 🔔🎉

And although I’m still very tired 🥴, I’m definitely starting to feel better.

I think starting my hormone blockers on the very same day as radiotherapy probably didn’t help either. When I look at the last few months, my poor body has had chemotherapy, immunotherapy, radiotherapy, hormone blockers and enough medication to stock a small pharmacy. 😂

So perhaps feeling a bit rubbish isn’t actually that surprising!

And then there’s my hair…

Oh, my hair. 🤣

The hair that survived chemotherapy now looks like candy floss, while the new hair growing back looks like a five o’clock shadow.

Basically, I currently have the hairstyle of someone who has been struck by a small electrical storm. 😂

But there are definitely things to celebrate.

MY TASTE BUDS ARE BACK! 🎉

Food is finally starting to taste like food again, and I can’t tell you how happy that makes me. I’m discovering that you really don’t appreciate a nice meal until for several months, everything tastes and feels like cardboard in your mouth. . 😂

So I’m concentrating on the wins.

Radiotherapy — DONE ✔️
Taste buds — RETURNED ✔️
Hair — 🤷‍♀️😂 (in limbo)
Energy — currently somewhere in the post, apparently! 📦

I’m still a work in progress, but I’m getting there.

Slowly.

Very slowly.

But definitely getting there. ❤️

25/08/2026

I’ve just arrived home after my last radiotherapy session. I rang the bell 🔔.

I have a list of do’s and don’ts. I’ve had a phone call from the Respiratory Services saying they’re not worried about my lung nodules, but they want to monitor me. I have a heart scan appointment next week. I have a call with the breast nurse in October and my first yearly mammogram check in November.

Apart from that, I have my immunotherapy injections every three weeks for another 8 months, my bone IV treatments every six months and my hormone blockers for 7 years.

But I now feel like I’m not having to take one day at a time. More like one week at a time.

And then hopefully it will feel like one month at a time.

Until I reach the point when I realise I’m not counting the days, weeks or months anymore.

I’m just living them. ❤️

I know cancer will probably always be part of my story, but it doesn’t have to be the whole story.

Today feels like the beginning of a new chapter.

And after everything I’ve been through, I’m ready to turn the page. ❤️🔔

24/08/2026

What a difference a day makes!

Yesterday I posted about my “crash” on Saturday, after three days of radiotherapy, immunotherapy, nosebleeds & Hormone blockers…

The “what ifs” crept back in.
The “oh no, I can’t cope” anxiety feeling.
The “I’m never going to feel normal again” worming its way through my head.

But I took a dose of my own medicine. Reminded myself of what I was grateful for.
Told myself to concentrate on one day at a time.
Put my thoughts in to perspective and went to bed to rest.

I woke up this morning feeling so much better. I took things slowly and accepted I’d had a rough couple of days, but today was a new day.

Makeup and wig on, we got in the car and went for a drive to the pretty village of Edwinstowe (home of Robin Hood).

The sun was shining and I thoroughly enjoyed a stroll round the village and big piece of homemade carrot cake, sat outside watching the world go by.

The place was busy and as I watched people walk by, I wondered how many of them had been touched by cancer or other serious illnesses and were just getting on with their lives.

Despite still having a few years of uncertainty and medication ahead of me, I felt the most “normal” I’ve felt in a very long time.

23/08/2026

I’ve not posted on this page for four days, because to be honest, I’ve felt rubbish.

I started radiotherapy on Wednesday morning and I posted a fairly upbeat message that evening.

Thursday wasn’t too bad either.

But on Friday I really struggled.

My Friday radiotherapy appointment was at 10.10am and we normally leave home about one hour before, to get to Weston Park hospital in the centre of Sheffield.

At 8.30am, I started with a heavy nosebleed that just wouldn’t stop. Bob had to help me get dressed because I couldn’t let go of pinching the bridge of my nose with one hand.

It was pouring with rain and the traffic was horrendous, so it took us over an hour and a half to get there and I was late. Luckily my nose stopped bleeding by the time we got there, but I felt totally washed out.

Then Friday afternoon I had to go back to the chemo suite in Doncaster, to have my Herceptin (immunotherapy) injection.

I’d started taking Letrozole (hormone blockers) on the Wednesday too.

By Friday evening I was fit for nothing.
Individually - radiotherapy, Herceptin & Letrozole can make you very tired. Throw in a heavy nosebleed and the anxiety of missing my radiotherapy appointment, and I was exhausted.

I slept for 11 hours on Friday night, got up Saturday morning and didn’t feel too bad. The photo below is me on Saturday morning after I determinedly got up, showered and put some makeup on, ready to go out.

I never got out…
I felt so cold and weak I got back in to bed, fully clothed (in my jumper and trousers) and fell asleep for another five hours.

I finally got up at 5.30pm but still felt extremely tired and wobbly. Bob ordered a takeaway and then I watched tv with him until 8.30pm when I crawled back to bed and fell instantly asleep!

I woke at 4am this morning and I feel a lot better. I don’t think it was the radiation, but a combination of the four things that floored me.

I got through chemo and I’ll get through radiation, but I am concerned about the seven years of hormone blockers, as I can feel something changing (a bit like going through menopause!)

I feel edgy and anxious - more (and different to) what I’ve felt during my whole cancer journey.
So I guess this is a new experience I’m going to have to get my head around.

I had the end of radiotherapy in my sight. I thought I’d reached a point where the worst was over and it probably is. But I wasn’t expecting something else to be thrown in to the mix.

But maybe thats the lesson anyone on this journey needs to take.

We don’t have to work out how we’re going to cope with seven years of hormone blockers or other long term medications today. We just need to get through today.

I’ve got through surgery.
I’ve got through 12 weeks of chemo.
I’ve got through the days when I thought I couldn’t possibly feel any more tired… and here I am.

So I’m going to stop looking too far ahead and just take this one treatment, one day and one wobble at a time.

I’m still here. I’m still fighting. And thankfully, I’m still me underneath all of this.

And today, that’s more than enough. ❤️

19/08/2026

Today I had my first radiotherapy session at Weston Park Hospital in Sheffield.

I didn’t have a clue what to expect, so thought I’d document it here for anyone else about to embark on this journey.

I finished chemotherapy on the 24th July and attended a radiotherapy planning appointment on 10th August. This took an hour and a half, with a CT scan, three tiny dot tattoos placed to guide the radiation accurately and talking to a consultant oncology radiologist.

This morning I arrived and was taken to a changing room, where I had to remove my top half of clothes and put a gown on.

I was then taken in to a radiation room (one of 12) where I had to lie down on a metal bed, with my hands above my head. They removed the gown from my right arm, to expose the area receiving radiation.

There were three members of staff, all adjusting me millimetre by millimetre. X-rays were taken to check I was laid in the exact position needed. The first time, they said I wasn’t quite in the right position, so they moved me a fraction of a millimetre and re-took the X-ray.

This did the trick and I was told not to move a muscle. Of course my nose started itching the minute they said this and continued to tickle for the entire ten minutes I was led there 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

The bed was manoeuvred under the “machine” which then moved over my chest from left to right. There’s a very slight mechanical sound, but you can’t see or feel anything at all.

After 10 minutes I was finished and walking back out of the hospital within half an hour.

So far I feel absolutely fine… my breast feels a little warm. But I know with radiotherapy the side effects build up with each session.
I’ve been told that it will start to feel like sun burn and I must moisturise well.

It makes you tired, but this can take days to kick in, as the X-rays don’t just destroy cancer cells, they also destroy your healthy cells and so your body goes in to recovery mode again - when it’s barely recovered from chemo!

I’m lucky I only need five sessions and so hoping the side effects won’t be too bad.

And once again I’m grateful to science, cancer research and the wonderful NHS cancer service. Everyone is so kind and friendly and makes what is a very difficult journey so much more bearable.

I’m also grateful to everyone who has supported me on this page and all the messages of gratitude I get from people who are going through / or gone through cancer treatments, telling me how it’s helped them too.

The “cancer club” is not one you’d wish to join voluntarily, but I’ve met and connected with so many amazing people over the past eight months, that I actually feel enriched and humbled by this journey.

I’ve also learned more about myself and now look at life in a totally different way.
In a funny sort of way, I actually feel more at peace and am able to say “no” when something doesn’t suit me anymore.
I don’t allow stress or people’s opinions to bother me either.

So as they say, “every cloud….”

18/08/2026

If we have the flu, we go to bed and rest and wait to get better.
If we have surgery, we expect it to take our bodies time to heal. We expect discomfort, weakness and tiredness, so we just take each day as it comes and gradually start to feel stronger.

The thing with cancer is, you don’t always feel ill. You don’t even know you’ve got it until you find a lump, have a bleed or just feel that something is off.

The next thing you know, you’re being referred to a specialist and the first signs of fear kick in.

The “what ifs!”

You then have weeks of uncertainty, umpteen diagnostics, waiting for results and then the final appointment where you are told you have cancer.

You probably still don’t feel ill — and that’s why it’s such a shock — but your nervous system is completely shot to pieces.

You worry how bad it is…
You worry if it’s spread…
You worry if you’ll live…

You don’t want chemotherapy or surgery or radiotherapy, but you have no option, so you can feel like a lamb being led to the slaughter.

The treatment makes you feel ill — and so your mind fights it — because you didn’t feel that bad before, but now you do.

You go through surgery and treatments for weeks and months on end. But you still don’t know if there’s one little cancer cell lurking somewhere, hiding away, waiting to rear its ugly head again after everything you’ve been through.

This is a hell of a lot to get your head around.

And when your treatment is over, there’s still the “what ifs” popping into your head.

So how do we deal with this without driving ourselves completely crazy?

The thing I try to do is put my thoughts into perspective.

More and more people are surviving cancer today than ever before. Treatments are improving all the time, and there are so many people living long, happy and fulfilling lives after cancer.

And I remind myself that I cannot live today’s life worrying about tomorrow’s possibilities.

I can’t control whether cancer ever comes back.

But I can control how much of today I allow it to steal from me.

So I’m learning to take the same approach I would with any other recovery…

One day at a time.

I give my body time to heal.
I give my mind time to catch up.
I allow myself to have good days and not-so-good days without thinking every wobble means something terrible is happening.

And most importantly, I remind myself that being frightened doesn’t mean I’m not coping.

It just means I’ve been through something frightening.

I’m still here.

I’m still living.

And there is still so much life ahead of me that cancer hasn’t written the ending to. ❤️

So today, I’m choosing to focus on what IS, rather than everything that might be.

Because right now, this moment is mine.

And I intend to bloody well enjoy it. ❤️

Calmness Through Cancer with Sue

04/09/2026

02/09/2026

31/08/2026

30/08/2026

29/08/2026

25/08/2026

24/08/2026

23/08/2026

19/08/2026

18/08/2026

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