26/08/2026
One thing I’ve learned working with people through their healing is this.
Sometimes we spend years waiting for the apology.
Waiting for them to finally understand what they did.
Waiting for them to acknowledge the damage.
Waiting for them to say the words we needed to hear.
And somewhere along the way, we convince ourselves that when that moment finally comes, we’ll be able to heal. We’ll be able to move forward.
But healing doesn’t always work that way.
Sometimes the apology never comes. And even when it does, it doesn’t always land the way we hoped. Because the wound was never really about the words. It was about what we lost, what was taken, and what we deserved and didn’t receive.
Here is the harder truth:
You may never get the apology you deserved.
Not because what happened didn’t matter. It did. But because the person who hurt you may never reach the place of awareness or honesty needed to truly reckon with what they did.
And if your healing depends on them getting there, you are handing someone else the keys to your own recovery.
That’s a painful thing to sit with. I know.
But it’s also one of the most liberating shifts I’ve seen in people. The moment they stop waiting and start asking: what do I need, regardless of whether they ever come through?
Their apology may bring closure.
But your healing is still yours to claim.
You don’t need their permission to begin.
Have you ever found yourself waiting for someone else to take responsibility before you could move forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Much love,
Ryan
