01/10/2026
My story… ♥️
Dust.
I know what it is to be beaten down to be stabbed in the back by both friend and foe. To fail so badly that recovery takes years, to be brought to my knees by circumstances I never thought I’d survive.
I have known grief. The kind that steals your breath, the kind that makes you run makes you hide, makes you tired even when you’re standing still, smiling at a passer by.
The kind that makes you crawl into a bottle rather than face it, and makes you build walls around a heart that was once so willing to love.
Friends tried to break me.
Lovers tried to break me.
Enemies tried to break me.
Circumstances tried to break me.
Violence almost took my life, I almost took my life.
And there I was, alone and so lost in the darkness, frightened, broken and desperately searching for a way out.
And then, from somewhere deep within my wounded soul, I whispered...
“God, please help me.” 🙏
And perhaps, all along, He had been waiting for that whisper.
For you see, even when I felt utterly alone, somewhere deep within my heart I knew there was a hand upon my life. A love that had never left me, a presence that had never abandoned me, a Father who knew every tiny detail of my existence, right down to the dustiest corners of my soul.
I was like a wild, untamed horse, fiercely independent, running from anything that threatened to tame me. I had built my defences so high that even love struggled to find its way in.
And yet, there was One who pursued me.
Not to break me, but to heal me.
Not to condemn me, but to call me His own.
Not to take away my freedom, but to show me what it truly means to be free.
Fear told me to run. To hide behind the rocks, to keep my wounds concealed, to ignore the love that was pursuing me.
But how do you outrun a love that knows your name? A love so high, so deep, so wide and so long how could this human heart even begin to comprehend it?
A love that sees the mess, the mistakes, the tears, the anger, the shame and every scar, and still whispers, “You are Mine.”
Slowly, my defences began to crumble. The chains began to fall. My hardened heart began to soften, and the walls I had spent so long building started to come down.
And somewhere between the breaking and the healing, I fell in love. ♥️
Not with a fleeting feeling, not with a love that could betray me or walk away, but with the One who had been holding me all along.
It was a love that slowly and oh so patiently changed everything.
One step forward, then another. Sometimes two steps backwards. Sometimes crawling when I could no longer stand. Sometimes limping across leaps of faith so wide that I wondered how I would ever make it to the other side.
But even when I stumbled, He remained.
Yes, my past has known grief and pain, and even in this specific season has its own heartache’s disappointments and betrayals.
I could rage against the machine, shout about every injustice and allow the pain of my past to dictate the direction of my future.
Or I can rest in the curve of His peace, surrender what I cannot change and encourage myself in the faithfulness of my God.
Today, I choose the latter. Plan to tomorrow as well.
Because my mess has become my message. My pain has become a testimony. My tears have watered the very ground from which new strength is growing.
And who is my biggest cheerleader?
Me! 😅💕
Not because I have never fallen, but because I know what it has taken to get back up. Not because I am fearless, but because I am learning to choose courage over chaos. Not because I am unbreakable, but because I have discovered that even in my weakest moments, I am held by a strength far greater than my own.
And should I grow weary, I have a handful of trusted allies to keep me off the shelf.
But above all, I have Him.
The One who gave me beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning and peace for despair.
Blood-washed, tear-stained, humbled and surrendered,
Still here.
Still healing.
Still learning.
Still growing.
Still becoming.
I may limp, but I will keep walking. I may stumble, but I will rise again. I may have scars, but they do not define me.
For I am not what was done to me. I am not the sum of my disappointments, betrayals or my darkest days.
And although I’m weak and needy, and He is high and lofty, I can rest assured that I’m always on His mind.
He has no rival. No equal. No darkness He cannot reach.
And no part of my story is beyond His redemption.
And so out of the darkness and into the light my arms are up high and my hearts open wide.
For even in the dust, He found me.
Even in the ashes, He saw beauty.
Even in my silence, He heard my cry.
And even when I could not find the strength to hold on, He never let go.
No longer running from the love that has pursued me all my life.
A past written in pain, but a future resting safely in His hands.
Blessed with a peace that surpasses understanding, and in awe of the One who calls me daughter.
This is the beauty of grace.
I’m not alone. I never was. 💕
Peace 🙏
