11/04/2026
Most people think they’re upset about what happened.
But often, it’s what it means that hurts.
A client came to see me feeling deeply upset after not being invited to a friend’s wedding.
At first, it was anger.
But underneath that was something else.
Hurt.
Sadness.
A sense of being left out.
And when we slowed it down, it became clearer.
It wasn’t just the lack of an invitation.
It was what it seemed to say:
I’m not valued in the same way.
Maybe this friendship isn’t what I thought it was.
This is where feelings can become intense.
Not because you’re overreacting.
But because something meaningful has been touched.
Instead of analysing it endlessly, we worked through it using a simple process.
Noticing the feeling.
Understanding the resistance.
Feeling it in the body.
Allowing what couldn’t be changed.
And then gently widening perspective.
Nothing about the situation changed.
But her experience of it did.
She left feeling calmer. Clearer.
Less caught in the story.
Often, when a feeling is fully processed, something shifts.
Not because you forced a new thought.
But because the emotional charge has softened.
If this resonates, I’ve written more about this approach in my latest article. Link in bio.
