11/02/2023
It’s a good day to be alive.
After I lost my guiding star, my dad, two years ago today, I made all the permanent changes I had been preparing for my whole life.
I moved to a hot country, with diving and kiting and people with fire in their blood. I went to a new town alone with only a few acquaintances from the previous year. But I wasn’t nervous, not even for a second. I’ve travelled alone all life.
What I have learnt is to get comfortable with compromise and learning slow to stop feeling bad for everyone else when I ask for my needs to be met.
Grateful for fitness and even for the last few weeks I’ve not felt like moving much. I know I needed rest to let life stuff move through me.
I’m lucky I continue to have a healthy relationship with food, so I choose daily to nourish myself, and have never really struggled to speak with my own authentic voice. I’m grateful for the lessons my father taught me and which carry me forward. I’m even thankful for screaming his name as I came round from an anaesthetic last month; it showed how strongly I loved him.
I love you and miss you my popsies. I live my life now fully and am learning to manage stress without so much panic. Your passing humbled me and threw me and my world turned upside down. But now I move forward with courage and love.
The anchor you held for me has been released as I navigate what it feels like to truly anchor myself. If you have the means to change your life, just do it. 🦸🏻♀️♥️🏴☠️
