Navigating The Menopause Maze

03/09/2026

Midlife Truth

For most of my life, I was an open, kind, empathetic woman who took people at face value. I believed that love, loyalty, and softness would be met with the same. I thought that if I bent, accommodated, and stayed hopeful, things would eventually feel safe.

But the person I wasn’t giving my love to was me.

Midlife strips away the cushioning; the oestrogen; the oxytocin; the rose tinted fog; until you can finally see the truth without flinching.

What I’ve done for love:
• Made myself small
• Shrunk my needs
• Moved countries
• Lived with an alcoholic I needed a restraining order against
• Lived with a man carrying horrific teenage trauma
• Chose “safe” men who were anything but; avoidant; unavailable; incapable of loving me well

I kept choosing men who couldn’t meet me, because I didn’t yet know how to meet myself.

Midlife forces a reckoning.
You can’t hide from yourself anymore
You can’t pretend you’re fine
You can’t keep bending around men who benefit from your softness but don’t reciprocate your care

And here’s the part that matters most:
I’m not bitter
I’m not sad
I’m not resentful
I’m simply clear

Clarity is liberating; it is the moment you stop romanticising struggle and start honouring your worth. Peace is better than potential.

What my future romantic life looks like:
I don’t know yet
Partnership; companionship; or a life rich with friendship; freedom; and self respect

But what I do know:
• No more shrinking
• No more bending
• No more being taken advantage of
• No more crumbs

If love comes, it will meet me where I am; fully aware; fully grounded; fully sovereign.

I have a beautiful circle of friends; a life full of experiences; growth; and meaning. My nervous system is more regulated than ever. I have clarity; awareness; and self respect. I have a future that will not repeat my past.

I’m 56 and having the time of my life, not because everything is perfect, but because I am finally aligned.

The Sovereign Era has arrived 🩷🩷🩷

If this resonates with you, get in touch 💥

11/08/2026

Roots to Thrive Sheppey Matters

11/08/2026

Morning beautiful Meno Warriors, and happy Tuesday!

Last night’s Menopause Meet & Mingle may have been a small group, but my goodness it was powerful. Every time we gather, we hear the same stories from women who’ve been prescribed HRT but left without clear instructions, support, or guidance. It’s daunting. It’s confusing. And it can feel incredibly lonely.

But you are not alone in this.

We talked about how every woman’s body is different, our hormone levels, our symptoms, our responses to HRT. There is no “one size fits all,” and there never will be. And while our doctors do their best, the reality is that the system doesn’t give them the time or resources to monitor us in the way we truly need.

That’s why community matters.

That’s why conversations matter.

That’s why you matter.

There are brilliant groups out there, locally and online, and there is good information available too, even if it sometimes feels overwhelming.

Whether you’re in perimenopause, menopause, post‑menopause, or you’re a partner, friend, or colleague wanting to understand more, here are a few helpful links to get you started:

🔗 Sheppey Matters https://www.sheppeymatters.org.uk/

🔗 Navigating the Menopause Maze https://navigatingthemenopausemaze.co.uk/

🔗 Symptoms Tracker and Journal https://amzn.eu/d/57hU6yw

🔗 Balance Menopause https://www.balance-menopause.com/

🔗 The Pause Life https://thepauselife.com/?srsltid=AfmBOooIB0wfExHM2MdbmvEEAM6ztuXTuI5zU1WpabROR2p3RSX8AxfV

🔗 Instagram: Dr. Mary Claire https://www.instagram.com/drmaryclaire?igsh=NmlqeHYwcWViaWh3

🔗 Instagram: Tamsen Fadal https://www.instagram.com/tamsenfadal?igsh=N2YxNWd5eGFvbWMy

🔗 Instagram: Dr. Vonda Wright https://www.instagram.com/drvondawright?igsh=MTdjZmhueHhqOHFhbA==

🔗 NTMM Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1335137930767319

Championing awareness together means none of us walk this path alone.Menopause isn’t just a personal journey - it’s a shared one.

Let’s keep the conversation loud, supportive, and full of strength.

📢💪🩷🩷🩷

Sheppey Matters Building a Healthier, Happier Isle of Sheppey Together Sheppey Matters is an award-winning health and wellbeing charity delivering a range of community programmes across all wards and villages on the Isle of Sheppey. From free wellbeing classes to family support and volunteering oppo...

31/07/2026

July’s photo and meme mining vibe...

I haven’t spent much time on NTMM over the last six months, not for any dramatic reason, just the usual mix of work and life…mostly life if I'm honest!

Single life, actually. Not what I expected after six years, but sometimes lack of capacity and mismatch quietly win out. It’s been interesting how many people responded with “I’m so sorry.” But when you realise you were more alone inside the relationship than outside it, the ending isn’t a tragedy - it’s a recalibration and the opportunity to finally live authentically and with intention.

For me, it’s been a season of freedom, release, growth, and deeper understanding of myself and what I want from a relationship. This is not a post meant to be disrespectful; just an honest acknowledgement that sometimes two good people don’t work in the way they hoped. And choosing alignment over endurance is surely the better option than the alternative of shrinking yourself, bending around someone else’s capacity, or contorting your needs to fit a shape that was never yours to begin with.

Menopause is definitely a time of transition and expansion for this Meno Warrior 🩷🩷🩷

31/07/2026

Noel Fielding described his mind as a Victorian curiosity shop full of brightly coloured parrots and a badger in a top hat…and honestly, that’s the closest thing I’ve ever found to a description of my own brain.

Multiple thoughts on multiple subjects all at once (apparently why I can host audits calmly), non‑linear thinking, whimsical connections, a bit surreal… it’s all colour, layers, odd connections and delightful chaos, and always slightly over decorated. And yes, sometimes even I struggle to keep up with it 🤣😉

31/07/2026

Holiday Brunch Day 1 ☀️

I was meant to be heading to Hampshire this weekend to see some dear friends, but the Summer Flu had other ideas. Fingers crossed they kick the virus soon - it’s a miserable one 😖

So today became a Staycation Brunch Day instead. Halloumi cooked properly (I’m particular 😝), roasted tomatoes, beans, eggs… exactly the kind of slow comfort required. The eggs were not the usual fluffy unscious quality, but they still tasted good.

I’ve got a few lovely things planned over the next ten days: the Sheppey Matters International Friendship Day tomorrow, catching up with beautiful friends throughout the week, a wedding invitation I’m very excited about, a massage with the wonderful Lorna Bailey at The Temple Room(there will likely be talk of Vikings 🤣), some gentle garden pottering, and writing, lots and lots of writing.

The vibe will be slow, intentional and relaxed 🩷🩷🩷

One thing I’ve absolutely confirmed this past six months is how genuinely happy I am just bimbling at home, locally or at atmospheric and ancient places (I need to dig out my National Trust cards and make better use of them).

I don’t need airports, crowds or escape my life energy anymore, I don’t think I ever did, but survival mode hides the truth! Smaller curated moments are definitely where my nervous system feels safest.

And even though Sea Breeze won’t be my forever home as once imagined, I feel very at ease and relaxed here. Which is a good thing because the housing market is the opposite of when we bought this place four years ago! Think Stagnant, Slow, Static...take your pick 😎

24/07/2026

The waiting is over! Sometimes you just need to treat yourself and have cake for lunch!

I have been planning my date with the cake all week 🍰 🫶

Don't worry it will be shared 🥰

24/07/2026

CAKE 🍰

Now it's just a waiting game!!!

It's soooooooo buttery, good old Mary Berry.

Although I did swap out the margarine (nasty stuff!) with butter 🧈

19/04/2026

🌞 Sunny Sunday Check In!

Hello beautiful people, and happy Sunday.

How are you feeling today; full of the joys of Spring, energetic, calm, tired, sad, happy, or somewhere in between?

I’m pottering and catching up with a few chores this morning. Definitely a drying the sheets outside kind of day.

It would be wonderful to hear in ONE WORD what your Sunday has in store for you 🩷🩷🩷