17/12/2025
I have a wonderful friend who has experienced a number of difficult moments in her life, starting quite young. Over time, that shaped how she responds to criticism - it can linger far longer than it should.
What’s interesting is that our brains often treat criticism as a kind of threat. The same areas involved in physical danger can activate when someone disapproves.
Many of us grow up with the message that criticism means failure.And most of the time, we’re far harder on ourselves than anyone else.
This isn’t about blame. It’s about understanding what’s happening internally so you can respond more intentionally.
There’s some solid research behind this. Studies show that people who use brief grounding or self-affirmation exercises after negative feedback tend to be less defensive and more mentally flexible - both strong foundations for confidence and wellbeing (Creswell et al., 2005; Sherman et al., 2009).
We’ve created a simple 5-step guide designed for moments like these - when you’ve had a knock and want to steady yourself rather than spiral.
If you’d like a copy, just reply and ask.
The reason this approach works is that shifting your focus away from external criticism and back to internal grounding helps restore a sense of self-worth and autonomy. It breaks the cycle of rumination and allows you to respond, rather than react - a core habit of emotionally resilient people.
