15/06/2025
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āIām in this battle supporting my wife. Poetry gets my head back in shape when Iām finding it all too hard. This one is from a carerās point of view.ā
Barry Short has written this poem about dementia, titled āThe Carerā.
The poem reads:
I once was a husband, a lover and mate,
but now Iām a carer, and thatās far from great.
My wife, once so strong, is now simply forlorn,
and the stark simple truth is I now dread the dawn.
For dawn is the start of another days care.
It starts with a problem, what shall she wear?
What are our plans for the rest of the day?
Whatever they are will confuse at this stage,
try to get her to focus, one thing at a time.
āBrush your teeth, wash your bits and Iāll go and do mine.ā
Iāll compile a list so that your day is clear,
but just take your time, till your brain gets in gearā,
and that sets the tone for the rest of the day.
Sheāll need constant attention, wonāt hear what I say.
I need to learn patience but the truth is Iām crap,
and sooner or later Iāll inevitably snap.
Weāll have words once again, and sheāll be upset,
because the more I lose patience the harder it gets.
Then the evening arrives, āFind a film pleaseā she asks,
itās another small duty in my long list of tasks.
Eventually Iāll find one, and sheāll say āyes love put It onā.
I do so, but I know full well, in ten minutes sheāll be gone.
Her eyes will close, Iāll nudge her twice, but I know itās all in vain,
itās evening now, sheās fast asleep, Iām on my own again.
The quintessential carer, I must sit here by her side,
but my lifeās on hold Iām stuck here, my hands completely tied.
Another lonely night, until itās time for bed.
Then wake her up, bring her around, organise her meds.
Sheāll be semi conscious, what problems will we share?
She wonāt know who we are, what we are doing or where.
Another fractious hour will pass till we finally retire.
Sheās asleep but Iām awake, my brain is back on fire.
Reflecting on the things Iāve said, how much really mattered?
I cannot sleep, my minds arace, though physically Iām shattered.
[Image description: Dark navy blue text, on a faint light blue watercolour background, reads the same as the text in the caption above]