Untangled Relationships with Kajal

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Untangled Relationships with Kajal Relationship, Breakup & Divorce Coaching/Online UK / International I listen beyond the words. People rarely come to me because everything is going well.

Usually there is something they cannot make sense of. The same argument keeps returning. They love each other but no longer seem able to reach each other. Trust has been damaged. They are questioning whether to stay or leave. Money, family or cultural expectations have become entangled with the relationship. Or perhaps life looks successful from the outside — the home, career, children and years together are all there — yet privately they find themselves wondering why it doesn’t feel the way they thought it would. I listen to what has happened, but I’m also listening for what sits underneath it. What keeps repeating? What does this particular situation mean to you? What are you frightened of losing? What have you stopped saying? What are you protecting yourself from? What did you learn about love, security, conflict or partnership long before this relationship began? Sometimes people arrive wanting me to help them find the answer to their relationship. Very often, I want to help them find themselves first.

We Have Already Got Fireworks In Our House. A Client said something to me this week, that made me laugh! He said, "we ha...
22/09/2026

We Have Already Got Fireworks In Our House.

A Client said something to me this week, that made me laugh! He said, "we have already got fireworks at home, and Diwali hasn't even arrived. He meant the arguments.

His wife was stressed with Diwali round the corner which meant decorating, spring cleaning, organising parties, family dinners, deciding who to invite, and who was coming, and somehow keeping everything looking effortless.

He, on the other hand was spending longer hours at work. His business had been under pressure, and he felt he needed to keep everything together there.

So, from his perspective, he was doing everything he could to protect the family, and from her perspective, she was carrying the whole festival on her shoulders, and somewhere in between the cleaning, the invitations, the work, the family expectations and the endless list, the couple stopped seeing each other.

This made me think of how often this happens around celebrations. Many times it starts with small disagreements such as who are we inviting?
What about your brother?
What about my sister?
Are we inviting them after what happened last year?
Your mother caused all the issues.
Why am I doing all this?
Why don't you understand how much I have going on?
Don't do it, and then complain you are tired.
And suddenly, the celebration that was meant to bring everyone together becomes the thing that creates distance between two people, and sometimes a divided family issue.

Sometimes, the real problem isn't about who to invite or who is bringing what or who is helping. The real problem is about feeling unseen, unacknowledged, unappreciated and many times its about old family wounds, loyalties, expectations and all the things nobody quite knows how to say loud.

This sometimes happens at Diwali, Eid, Christmas, Birthdays, weddings, holidays and family gatherings because when life gets bigger, our relationships can suddenly feel smaller.

So perhaps, this year before the fireworks begin, pause for a moment and look at the person carrying the weight behind the organising and and ask, "are you okay?" how can I make this easier for you? because sometimes the most meaningful thing you can give a loved one is a simple acknowledgement, and make them feel seen and heard, rather then dishing out criticism, or another idea how they could do better or different.

These are the kinds of relationship dynamics I work with every day and as an Indian Kenyan Gujrati coming from a family where celebrations, family, expectations and relationships are all beautifully and sometimes complicatedly intertwined, I understand just how much can sit underneath these seemingly small arguments. Untangled Relationships with Kajal

09/09/2026

If this kind of confusion is showing up in your relationship, do not have to keep trying to untangle it alone. If you are ready to understand the pattern, protect your emotional wellbeing and work out what comes next, send me a message and let’s talk.

What's one small habit that's made a surprisingly big difference in your life? fans Wellness With Kajal
24/08/2026

What's one small habit that's made a surprisingly big difference in your life? fans Wellness With Kajal

Don’t choose the wrong relationship just because silence feels uncomfortable. Wellness With Kajal
13/08/2026

Don’t choose the wrong relationship just because silence feels uncomfortable. Wellness With Kajal

Today, are you pausing or performing?Today, many people will be looking up to watch the solar eclipse. I was raised with...
12/08/2026

Today, are you pausing or performing?

Today, many people will be looking up to watch the solar eclipse. I was raised with a different understanding of what an eclipse represents.

As a young girl growing up in Kenya, my mother would always say:

"An eclipse is not entertainment; it is a time to become still."

I remember businesses closing early, streets becoming quieter, and families staying indoors. Life seemed to pause for a little while, as people honoured the moment with respect rather than excitement. Whether that was because of tradition, faith, or cultural wisdom, I don't know, but I remember how deeply it was respected.

My mother would encourage us to stay indoors, avoid eating if possible, reduce unnecessary activity, pray, meditate, chant, or sit quietly. She would often say that during an eclipse, we should avoid anything that involves unnecessary exchange of energy and instead preserve our own. That teaching has stayed with me throughout my life.

In Ayurveda and Vedic tradition, when the light changes, the energy around us changes too. It is believed that prana, our vital life force, can become unsettled, while agni, our digestive and metabolic fire, may become weaker. This is why the tradition encourages simplicity, rest, and inward reflection during an eclipse.

Ancient Vedic stories also speak of Rahu and Ketu, symbolising karmic transformation, illusion, and profound change. Across many ancient cultures, eclipses were viewed as sacred moments, times to pause rather than perform.

Today, science has given us a much deeper understanding of eclipses! We know they are extraordinary astronomical events, and certified eclipse glasses allow people to observe them safely. I deeply respect both science and tradition. For me, this isn't about deciding which is right. It's about choosing the tradition that resonates with my heart.

While many people will gather to watch the eclipse, I will be doing something quieter. I will be praying through meditation and reflection because, in my experience, some moments are honoured not by looking outward but by listening inward.

Whatever you choose today, whether you watch the eclipse or spend the time in stillness, I hope you do so with intention, respect, and awareness. After all, every tradition carries a story, and every scientific discovery expands our understanding. And ultimately, each of us has the freedom to choose the path that feels meaningful to us.

Today, I choose stillness.

Will you be looking up… or looking within? Wellness With Kajal

Stop giving your problems your identity.A problem is something you are experiencing, it is not who you are.Problems have...
11/08/2026

Stop giving your problems your identity.

A problem is something you are experiencing, it is not who you are.

Problems have a life cycle, and they can feel all-consuming, but they are still a chapter not the whole story and there is a world of difference between saying:

“I am the problem.”

and

“I am experiencing a problem.”

That distinction creates space! Space to think, space to choose, space to imagine something different.

Sometimes the answer is rebuilding the marriage. Sometimes it is leaving Sometimes it is changing careers, changing priorities, changing boundaries, or simply changing the way you see yourself.

Before we decide where we are going, we have to become curious about what we actually want and that is why one of the questions I come back to again and again in my work is:

“If the problem disappeared tomorrow, what would you want your life to look like?”

It’s a simple question, and it can open doors. Once you see beyond the problem, you can begin to design beyond it.

This is something I’ll be exploring in much greater depth in my new programme, where I’ll be working with couples and individuals to move beyond the problem, reconnect with themselves, and create a clearer vision for what comes next because sometimes the first step towards changing your life isn’t solving the problem.

It’s allowing yourself to see what lies beyond it. Wellness With Kajal Kajal Kaj

Today’s reminder hits different when you understand energy as a body.In my Five Body Method, your Energy Body is the bri...
07/05/2026

Today’s reminder hits different when you understand energy as a body.

In my Five Body Method, your Energy Body is the bridge, which connects your mind, emotions, physical self, and spirit.

When you scatter it on things with no future, every other part of you feels the drain.

This is why I teach my clients to treat their energy like a sacred resource because where it flows, healing follows Wellness With Kajal

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