23/06/2026
Before we judge our shame our mothers, remember the world they inherited.
Many were raised to believe that being a “good woman” meant being quiet, agreeable, self-sacrificing, and endlessly giving. They learned that their value lay in what they could endure, not in what they could become, often this was because they were in survival.
Some carried the weight of immigration, poverty, war, displacement, strict family systems, or emotional neglect. Others spent so long surviving that there was little space left for feeling, dreaming, or asking for more.
They passed down what helped them survive.
The silence, the self-sacrifice, the hyper-independence, the people-pleasing, the guilt, the fear, the belief that love meant putting yourself last.
Breaking the cycle isn’t about blaming our mothers. It’s about understanding that what once protected them may no longer protect us. This post is to inform, not to add shame onto the relationship you may hold with your mother.
The greatest way we can honour their sacrifices isn’t by repeating their suffering; it’s by ensuring it ends with us, by choosing a different way of living, by allowing ourselves to be seen instead of staying silent, by setting boundaries instead of abandoning ourselves, by asking for help instead of carrying everything alone, by resting without guilt, by choosing emotionally safe relationships, by trusting our intuition, by believing our needs matter, by taking up space without apology, by showing our children that love doesn’t have to come at the cost of the self.
Healing isn’t a rejection of our mothers. It’s the freedom they deserved too. Do it for you, your younger self and those that come after us.
Keep shining,
Dr. Lalitaa
❤️
