03/09/2026
Update if anyone is interested & a different POV of just how bad the loose skin is on my belly. ā¤ļø
I think Iāve finally had to admit defeat.
And honestly, Iām finding that really hard to say.
I always knew deep down that I wasnāt going to get the belly I truly wanted without surgery. Iāve never really believed that losing weight alone would completely fix it.
But I was hoping I could improve it.
I was hoping that by losing more body fat, getting stronger, building muscle and working as hard as I possibly could, I could get the best result I could before surgery.
I wanted to go into surgery having done everything in my power to give myself the best starting point possible.
And I think thatās why this feels like such a defeat.
Because despite everything Iāve done, my belly just isnāt changing the way I hoped it would.
Iāve spent so long thinking, just a little more weight lossā¦ just a little more timeā¦ maybe if I get a bit leaner, maybe if I build a bit more muscle.
But I think Iāve reached the point where I have to accept that Iām probably not going to improve it much more through weight loss.
And that really hurts.
Not because Iāve failed. I know I havenāt.
Iāve lost an unbelievable amount of weight. Iāve counted calories. Iāve exercised. Iāve lifted weights. Iāve pushed myself when I didnāt want to. Iāve kept going when it was hard.
I just wanted to see a little more change.
I wanted to feel like all that hard work had made a difference to this particular part of my body too.
So Iām going to enter maintenance phase.
This doesnāt mean Iām giving up. Not at all.
Iām still going to exercise. Iām still going to count my calories. Iām still going to work on getting stronger and improving my body as much as I can.
The difference is that the focus isnāt going to be on making the number on the scales smaller anymore.
Iām convinced I have diastasis recti, and after looking into it and seeing how my stomach looks and feels, so much suddenly makes sense. I also think it may be quite significant, although I havenāt had it formally assessed yet.
Itās also made me look at my pelvic pain differently. I donāt know exactly how much of it is connected, but it has certainly made me wonder whether thereās more going on than I realised.
I know I should probably see my GP, but right now I honestly donāt know if I have the time.
My kids have so much going on that there just isnāt much time left for me. And as much as I know I need to look after myself too, my kids will always come first.
Maybe once my youngest starts nursery next year, Iāll finally have a little more time to focus on me and get everything properly looked at.
For now, the plan is still to keep saving for surgery.
Iām going to change up my weights and routines and focus on strengthening the muscles as much as I can. I want to continue doing everything I can to make myself as strong and healthy as possible before surgery.
And when I finally do get my surgery, theyāll be able to properly assess everything and repair the diastasis recti too.
So Iām not giving up.
Iām just letting go of the hope that I can make this belly significantly better through weight loss alone.
I knew surgery was going to be part of my journey.
I just really, really hoped I could get myself a little closer to where I wanted to be first.
And maybe thatās what Iām grieving most.
Not the fact that I need surgery.
But the fact that, despite everything Iāve done, I couldnāt change this part of my body quite as much as I desperately wanted to.
I still live in hope that I can get my āhipsā under 40", but thereās no pressure anymore.
For now, Iām trying to accept that this is where my body is right now.
And even though I feel defeated today, I need to remember just how bloody far Iāve come.
Because Iāve changed my entire life.
Maybe I just need a little help with the final part. ā¤ļø
