15/05/2026
One of the most painful parts of losing someone can be not having a chance to say goodbye. Oftentimes this is what will come up for many in a reading - whether it be despite the odds (no matter how hard they tried) or because of the circumstances (they were unable to) - they missed out on saying goodbye in their loved one's final moments.
In many cases, for our loved ones who are poorly, they spend a significant amount of time between sleeping and waking in transition - they have a foot in both worlds, so to speak. Thus, they have a deep rooted awareness of where they are going. This cannot be explained to us even if our loved ones could do so. Sometimes, when there is awareness that the final step is about to be made, a loved one feels it necessary to wait until they can cross at a moment when those left behind can find peace with it. It can be difficult to leave when the bonds that have formed so beautifully in this life swirl and surround us. Even when there is no say, no choice in the manner of leaving, there is still a last push of will/a last draw of soul consciousness to wait if possible or to go before someone returns.
This is not because our loved ones don't want us there at the end. This is not because we failed to be there for the final moments. This is simply because it was the way it was supposed to be - whether they were able to wait or chose to go. It was either for their benefit or ours. Either way, there should be no guilt for those left behind who feel that they could not be there at the end nor could they say the things that they wanted to say in time.
There is no reproach in the After Life. It would be remiss to say that there is no regret - our loved ones can express regret that they behaved a certain way or that they did not do something that they should have but the over-riding emotion is understanding. Understanding that what was meant to be was meant to be for the journeys that were to be carried out.
There is certainly no musing on the exchange of goodbyes. Some loved ones leave in an instant and these sudden, unexpected partings can be extremely difficult because we did not know that the interactions leading up to their passing would be our last. So there can be worry - did we say enough, did we do enough, were WE enough?
The whole point, I guess, morbid though it may sound is that the question should not come after. We should not need to ask once someone has gone whether we offered enough, whether WE were enough. We can only do the best that we can do in the time that we have here.
As a closing reassurance, our loved ones don't cross over and regret not having said Goodbye. The over-riding emotion that most experience is awe - awe and respect for the incredible fragility of human life and the way that we manage to navigate it.
It's never goodbye. Only ever "for now" ... π€