14/06/2026
Sometimes “holding space” is just professional-sounding avoidance.
There. I said it. 🫣🐴
In equine-facilitated work, we talk a lot about holding space. It sounds gentle. It sounds trauma-informed. It sounds safe.
And sometimes it absolutely is.
But there is a difference between holding space and giving space, and if we do not understand the difference, our practice can become a bit wobbly around the edges.
Holding space means staying emotionally present.
It means being steady, curious, grounded and available.
It means the person is not being rushed, fixed, judged, rescued or dragged into a learning outcome because it is on the session plan.
It is active.
It takes skill.
It involves noticing.
It involves your nervous system, your boundaries, your language, your timing, the horse, the environment and the power dynamic in the room.
Giving space means stepping back.
It may mean silence.
It may mean distance.
It may mean reducing pressure.
It may mean letting the young person pause, breathe, think, wander, muck out, brush quietly or simply exist near the horse without being poked for insight every thirty seconds.
That can be beautiful practice too.
But here is where it gets murky. 🌧️
If we “give space” because we are uncomfortable, unsure, scared of getting it wrong or avoiding a difficult moment, that is not trauma-informed practice.
That is us tapping out emotionally while making it sound ethical.
And clients feel that.
Young people especially feel it.
They know the difference between:
“I am not pushing you, but I am still here.”
and
“I have slightly panicked and now I am pretending this silence is therapeutic.”
Brutal, but true. 🫠
In our work, space should never feel like abandonment.
A quiet moment should still have a held edge to it.
A pause should still have safety in it.
A client choosing not to talk should not mean we disappear emotionally.
And equally, “holding space” should not become hovering, over-processing, over-interpreting, or turning every glance at a pony into a deep psychological excavation.
Sometimes a child is just looking at a pony because the pony is cute and has hay in its fringe.
We do not need to turn it into a TED Talk. 🐴🌾
Good facilitation is knowing when to stay close and when to soften back.
It is knowing when silence is useful, and when silence has become avoidance.
It is knowing when a young person needs space, and when they need a calm adult to remain quietly, safely, obviously present.
That is the work.
Not fixing.
Not forcing.
Not floating about saying “I’m holding space” while secretly hoping the horse does the heavy lifting.
➡️Actual presence.
➡️Actual attunement.
➡️Actual responsibility.
Because holding space is not doing nothing.
It is doing something very carefully. 💛