30/12/2025
2025 you really were the cherry on top
Just when I thought I had reached the lowest ebb, I was still not quite there and you had one more lesson for me.
Things I’d not considered before, something taken for granted, assuming tomorrow will be intact and our bodies will keep on carrying us like they’ve always done. Until overnight, they don’t.
The profound loss of your health is truly devastating, when your body becomes unrecognisable, unreliable, where you once innately trusted without a moment’s thought, suddenly you’re fractured, cracked wide open between looking at who you are and the vessel that holds you, your body no longer a refuge but a place of uncertainty.
And as if this isn’t enough, you hand your body over, placing your life in the hands of others, the paradox of surrendering control in order to survive, while still trying to keep a firm grip on your destiny.
The brutality of treatment, taking you to the darkest of places, the depths of fear, relentlessly testing your spirit, your nervous system, your courage, your capacity to keep breathing. Stripping of your vitality, identity, momentum, the emptying out of you.
And then the adjustment, the permanent life changes, the reshaping of your existence and reworking of your very soul. A clarity that arrives uninvited and refuses to leave.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Not for any of us. And once you have stared that truth in the face, you cannot unsee it.
2025 I think… I thank you… I am still processing… 🎀
I carry this year in my bones now
Etched into every cell
I am not the same
And I never will be
🩷
