Nabiilah Fakira, Mental Health Practitioner

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Nabiilah Fakira, Mental Health Practitioner Licensed Psychologist (AHPC) & Mental Health Coach (ISNS).

14/08/2026

Emotional Maturity Is Knowing When Not to React

In the world we live in, people, social groups, and situations can trigger us—pushing us toward anger, aggression, impulsive reactions, or simply putting us in an unresourceful emotional state.

And often, once the situation is over, we realise something uncomfortable: our reaction changed nothing.

The person who triggered us may not have acknowledged their mistake. They may not have cared. They may have simply moved on—while we remained emotionally drained, replaying the situation in our minds.

In other words, we gave away our energy to a person or situation that did not deserve it.

Sometimes, people deliberately provoke reactions. They may be seeking an emotional response, attempting to make you feel bad, or trying to influence your mood and emotional state.

But here is the real question:

Are you going to let someone else determine your emotions, your thoughts, your behaviour, and ultimately, your well-being?

Why give someone that much power?

Before you react, pause and ask yourself:

Is this person worth my energy?
Is this situation worth my peace?
Will my reaction change anything?
Or am I simply giving away my emotional power?

Emotional maturity does not mean allowing people to disrespect you or avoiding difficult conversations.

It means learning to choose your battles wisely.

Because not every provocation deserves a reaction.
Not every argument deserves your voice.
Not every person deserves access to your peace.

Sometimes, the most powerful response is the one you choose not to give.

— Nabiilah Fakira-Jahn

13/08/2026

Some adults grow older. Not everyone grows up.

One of the most interesting things about social media is watching adults with impressive careers, titles and vocabulary still operate with the emotional maturity of a teenager.

They have learned how to look successful without necessarily becoming successful. They curate lifestyles they don’t really live, display relationships that don’t reflect reality, talk about wealth they don’t possess, and present themselves as experts in areas where their own lives tell a very different story.

And social media makes it remarkably easy.

A carefully selected photograph can create a lifestyle. A confident caption can create expertise. A few motivational quotes can create the illusion of wisdom.

Suddenly, someone who is still struggling to manage their own emotions, relationships or responsibilities becomes everyone’s relationship coach, life strategist and mental-health expert.

The irony? Sometimes the loudest advisors are the people whose own lives need the most advice.

There is also an interesting psychological distinction here. Genuine impostor syndrome is the feeling of being inadequate despite having real achievements. But sometimes we encounter something different: people who compensate for their insecurities by constructing an impressive identity and then desperately protecting that image.

They don’t necessarily know more.

They simply perform confidence better.

And because confidence is often mistaken for competence, people listen.

This is why healthy adults need to become better at looking beyond presentation. Don’t judge someone’s wisdom by their followers, their vocabulary, their lifestyle posts or how confidently they give advice.

Look at consistency.

Does their private behaviour resemble their public philosophy? Do their relationships reflect the values they preach? Can they admit mistakes? Do they take accountability? Can they handle disagreement without becoming defensive? And most importantly, does their advice actually come from lived experience—or from a carefully constructed image?

Because not everything that looks like wisdom is wisdom.

Sometimes, it’s simply insecurity wearing confidence as a costume.

And perhaps the healthiest thing we can do is ask ourselves:

“Am I listening to someone because they are genuinely wise—or because they have become very good at looking like they are?”

12/08/2026

The Blame Game: When Self-Protection Starts Hurting the Person You Love

Sometimes, blaming your partner isn’t really about wanting to hurt them. It can be an unconscious coping mechanism—a way of protecting ourselves from shame, guilt, rejection or the fear of being wrong. If we grew up in environments where admitting mistakes meant criticism, punishment or emotional rejection, we may learn to defend ourselves before we even realise we’re doing it.

And this is where the blame game begins.

Instead of saying, “I was hurt by what happened,” we say, “You always do this.”
Instead of listening, we become defensive.
Instead of taking responsibility, we search for someone to blame.

Sometimes, this can evolve into gaslighting—minimising someone’s feelings, questioning their perception or repeatedly making them doubt their own experience. It may begin as a defensive reaction, but its impact on the other person can be deeply damaging.

The good news is that patterns can be unlearned.

The first step is awareness: “Am I trying to solve the problem, or am I trying to protect myself from feeling wrong?”

Then comes accountability. Learn to pause before reacting. Listen without immediately preparing your defence. Replace “You made me…” with “I felt…”. Apologise without adding a “but.” Accept that your partner can experience the same situation differently from you.

And most importantly, remember that being wrong doesn’t make you a bad person, and admitting your mistake doesn’t make you weak.

Your partner is not your enemy. They are the person you chose to build a life with.

A healthy relationship isn’t one where nobody makes mistakes. It is one where both people feel safe enough to acknowledge them, repair the damage, and grow together.

So perhaps the real question isn’t “Who is to blame?”

Perhaps it’s: “Are we trying to win the argument, or are we trying to protect the relationship?”

11/08/2026

Part two - Sometimes, the problem in a relationship isn’t the relationship. It’s the system surrounding it.

Family dynamics can have a powerful influence on intimate relationships, especially when boundaries are unclear. What may look like “concern” can sometimes become emotional enmeshment, triangulation, blame-shifting or even gaslighting—where a partner’s feelings are repeatedly invalidated, their reality is questioned, or conflicts are redirected toward finding someone to blame.

And then there is another, more subtle dynamic: the emotionally insecure parent.

Not every parent who interferes is consciously trying to sabotage their child’s relationship. Sometimes, it comes from fear of losing their importance, difficulty accepting their child’s independence, unresolved attachment needs, or simply an inability to accept that their child now has another primary relationship.

It rarely looks like open hostility.

It can sound like: “I’m only saying this because I care about you.”
“You’ve changed since you met them.”
“Your partner doesn’t really understand you like we do.”
“You used to have more time for us.”

One comment may seem harmless. Repeated over time, however, these messages can create doubt, guilt and emotional conflict. The child may gradually feel that choosing their partner means betraying their family.

And this is where things become psychologically complicated.

The parent may not have to openly attack the relationship. They can simply create enough doubt for the couple to start attacking itself.

Every disagreement is then taken to the family. Every decision needs external approval. One partner becomes the “problem,” while the family becomes the judge, jury and emotional support system.

Eventually, the couple stops functioning as a team.

Healthy families can offer support without taking ownership of a couple’s relationship. Healthy partners can listen to concerns without automatically turning against each other. And healthy boundaries are not disrespect—they are an acknowledgement that your partner is now part of your primary adult life.

Sometimes, loving your family means accepting that you cannot always be their first priority.

Sometimes, loving your partner means refusing to participate in the blame game.

And sometimes, protecting your relationship requires asking an uncomfortable question:

Are we genuinely listening to the people around us—or have we allowed their fears, insecurities and unresolved emotions to quietly become part of our relationship?

09/08/2026

Do Gen Z and Millennials really “lack commitment”? Or have we simply become too comfortable with walking away?

We live in a generation obsessed with options.

Better opportunities. Better careers. Better lifestyles. “Know your worth.” “Never settle.” “You deserve better.”

And honestly, that mindset can be empowering.

But there is one problem: relationships are not Amazon products. You don’t return them when they stop being convenient.

Long-term relationships require sacrifice, patience, compromise, time, investment and understanding.

At some point, the excitement fades. You get tired. You get frustrated. You disagree. You feel fed up.

That doesn’t automatically mean you chose the wrong person. Sometimes, it simply means you’re in a real relationship.

The question is: when things get difficult, do we communicate and work through them — or do we immediately blame, gaslight, say “pas moi sa, li sa”, and look for the exit?

Of course, leave an abusive or toxic relationship. Protect yourself.

But let’s stop glorifying the idea that walking away is always strength and staying to work through difficulties is weakness.

Sometimes maturity is not finding someone “better.”

Sometimes maturity is becoming better partners for the person we already chose.

And if you chose each other, protect that relationship. Be authentic. Stop the hiding games. Stop involving everyone in every disagreement. Family and friends can advise, but they don’t own your relationship.

At the end of the day, it is you and your partner who have to live with the consequences of your choices.

Commitment isn’t tested when everything is perfect. It’s tested when things aren’t.

Maybe the problem isn’t that this generation doesn’t know how to commit.

Maybe we’ve simply become too accustomed to believing that every difficult thing should be replaced instead of repaired.

04/07/2026

Dear patients, clients, and collaborators,

I would like to inform you that my full name is Nabiilah Fakira. My professional credentials are as follows:

* Licensed Psychologist (Allied Health Professionals Council – AHPC)
* Certified Meta-Coach, specializing in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Neuro-Semantics, certified by the International society of Neuro-Semantics.

These qualifications represent nine years of continuous academic study, intensive training, supervised practice, and professional development.

Please be aware that any individual using my name to claim they are conducting therapy sessions, coaching sessions, consultations, or workshops on my behalf is not representing me unless the information is published through my official channels.

For verification, please refer only to my official LinkedIn profile or page.

Your mental and emotional wellbeing deserves qualified, ethical, and properly accredited professionals. I encourage everyone to verify the credentials of any practitioner before entrusting them with their care.

Thank you for your trust and continued support.

Nabiilah Fakira
Licensed Psychologist (AHPC)
Certified Meta-Coach (NLP & Neuro-Semantics)

20/05/2026

Et si l’on changeait enfin notre regard sur les personnes hypersensibles ? Trop souvent perçue comme une faiblesse ou un «trop-plein d’émotions», cette sensibilité peut pourtant devenir un véritable poids au quotidien pour ceux qui la viven...

Another Sunday 🌻, another reflection.This month, the Neuro-Semantics community in Mauritius — MCF Mauritius — celebrates...
19/10/2025

Another Sunday 🌻, another reflection.
This month, the Neuro-Semantics community in Mauritius — MCF Mauritius — celebrates its 10th anniversary!

Over the past decade, we have grown, evolved, and embraced new innovations and skills under the guidance of the founder himself.

Today, I celebrate Neuro-Semantics at the service of all Mauritians — empowering minds, transforming lives, and creating meaningful change.

Happy 10th Anniversary, MCF Mauritius!

From my heart-mind to yours 🫶

17/10/2025

Your Mind Has the Power to Heal

Sometimes it’s not what happens to us that hurts the most — it’s how we think about it.

Neuro-Semantics helps you understand how your thoughts and emotions work together, and how you can change the meaning behind your experiences to feel calmer, stronger, and more in control.

With Neuro-Semantics, you can:
- Manage stress and negative thoughts
- Feel more confident and balanced
- Build a healthier relationship with yourself

It’s all about helping your mind and emotions work with you, not against you.

If you’ve been feeling stuck or overwhelmed, this approach can gently guide you back to clarity and peace.

10/10/2025

World Mental Health Day 2025

To all my patients/clients and everyone on a healing journey —
please remember this: your feelings are valid, your struggles are seen, and your courage to keep going matters more than you know.

Healing isn’t linear. Some days you’ll rise with strength, other days you’ll simply hold on — both are acts of bravery.

Be gentle with yourself today. Rest if you need to. Speak your truth. Let yourself be human.

You are not broken — you are becoming.
And that’s something to be deeply proud of.

From my heart to yours 🕊️

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