22/05/2026
Sometimes you or your loved ones living in the same home together would do better to remember that you are there for each other - not just because you live in the same space together - but because you actually love each other and want to be there for each other. It's such an easy thing to forget even though you choose to be there for together time instead of just coming home to hermit and sleep - after you're done spending your energy outside of the home.
It's a small thing, but sometimes your loved ones can wonder if you're only there simply because you're there, not considering that you're there because you love being with them.
A lil story...
I always made time for my late mother in law after we moved out of their home. So she knew that when I visited, my entire attention was hers. After her son and I divorced, I actually moved in with my in laws. It was my mother in laws idea.
I asked her "Wouldn't it be odd with your son living somewhere else?"
She replied, "I want you living with us. Dad doesn't have a problem with it. Unless you have a problem with it no one else lives here and if they don't live with us their opinions don't matter to DAD and I"
I loved her so dearly and somehow I feel abundantly blessed that she may have loved me more.
I had a busy life though, working 60-80 hours a week, attending church, going for pole dancing and staying on after to have a meal with my work, church or dance mates. Yet I'd also make sure I spent time with my mother in law when I got home. All my activities were around each other - work, church, pole - home was a 40min drive away so I'd come home when I've was done instead of going up and down.
The plan was to live there for a year so after 6 months I started looking for a place since I knew exactly what I wanted for myself. It wasn't easy to find though.
Mom would occasionally remind me that I should be arranging to move soon.
Funny thing is, once I found the place, to live with a friend which she suggested anyhow because "You're always staying the night there!" She was less in a rush for me to pack. My friend would let me stay if it got too late because even though I had the house keys, Mom would wait up for me if she knew I was coming home. I wanted her to sleep since she woke up early anyhow - a prisoner to the early riser habit, in a way.
The day I packed my last bag to move she said "You don't have to move you know?" I said "I know, but I already paid the rent." I have a great rapport for paying rent on time! ☺️
By then I had realized that she thought I was spending time with her out of obligation, because I lived with them and even though I would carve out time to be with her specifically a few time a week, because I lived there, to her it seemed like just a day I didn't have plans with others, so I was with her.
She reminded me that my room would always be there for me. It meant so much and she kept it that way with my Avon Awards and stuffed toys decorating the room until I decided to return to Malaysia.
After I moved out, I spent less time hanging out with her because I wasn't living there. There wasn't the everyday just being in each other's company to watch TV before sleeping or the short morning chats before work - but the time I carved out for her was there and again she knew for herself that when I was there, I was only there for the love of being with her and not just because we lived together.
☆☆☆
If you're living with your loved one and you suspect they may be feeling this way, don't move out and spend time with them to prove a point - perhaps find ways to make it abundantly apparent from time to time that you're there simply because you love them!
Maybe go out together as well just because!
For you and for them - be together in a way that says:
~ I love your company
~ I love being with you!
~ I enjoy our time together
~ I'm choosing to spend my time with you
~ Our time together is meaningful and special
All that you want to feel for yourself! Give yourself that gift by giving your loved one at home that gift!
Time with YOU is ever so precious and special!
Believe it!
