29/09/2019
I don't even have the words for how I feel today, it's a combination of angry, sad, overwhelmed, greatful, blessed, and a lot of other mixed emotions in between.
I am going to post this across all of my social media outlets, so apologies in advance.
If you read this in full, maybe you'll be compelled to share it with the important woman in your lifes, maybe together WE can make a difference, maybe WE can be the change, and save lives.
As a Gynaecology nurse several times a week I stand next to my patients, "The chair is going to lift up, and tilt back just like a bed, lean back, take some big deep breathes, and try to relax", I reassure, comfort, and try to create a distraction.. "So how's your day been so far"... Let's face it having someone between your legs, the fear of the unknown, and sometimes painful experience that is colposcopy with cervical biopsies, is the last thing any of us WANT to be doing.
Before women arrive in my clinic, they've already seen their GP, or practice nurse, they've already been exposed and vulnerable, and they have already had their pap smear collected.
My smear reminders had been coming in as they do, text reminders from my GP, for several weeks I avoided, as we do. It's the 1 thing WE as woman have to do every 3 years, the thing that none of us WANT to do, the one thing WE put off, avoid, and would rather forget about.
For the last 2 weeks, I've been reassuring my patients, "Don't worry, my smear is due, and I'm putting it off, because what's the bet that now I work in this clinic, it will come back abnormal, and soon I'll be in your position; at least you don't have to work with your specialist" I'd joke with them.
Fast forward to last Friday, I sucked it up, put on my big girl pants, and got the smear done... I couldn't believe I'd been charged $10 for the speculum, and told them next time, I'd bring my own lol. $33 was the total cost to have the smear taken. Now to some $33 isn't a lot, but to others that's the budget for a weeks worth of groceries for their children.
SMEARS SHOULD BE FULLY FUNDED!
The practice nurse I saw was lovely, just as I'd hope anyone taking a smear would be; kind, gentle, and caring. "I'll text you with your results, within the next 2 weeks". But come Wednesday afternoon my phone rang, and as I listened to the voicemail I knew what I was about to be told. "Hi Alicia, it's Sarah* the nurse, I'm just finishing for the day, but needed to speak to you, I'll try again first thing tomorrow".... I knew what was coming next...
'High Grade Squamous Intraepithelial Lesion'
Just as I'd predicted, my smear was abnormal, I'm no stranger to this, the first time this happened I was 22, it was followed by a LLETZ procedure, and until now, normal there after.
I'm not sure if knowing the process is reassuring that I know what's next, or more daunting that I know what's next.. But I'm greatful for me there is a next.
Now this post could be all about me, but it's not, and it was not the reason I've taken the time to write this. All those mixed emotions are not of my journey, but that of a courageously brave, inspirational, funny and caring woman; A lady I was blessed to have known.
I was there the day she got her diagnosis, passing her in the corridor I asked "What are you doing here?"... "Um I think I've got cervical cancer, I'm meeting with the oncologist".... I sat on her bed while she received chemotherapy, looked forward to her out the gate memes only she would get away with posting, giggled everytime she was "off to jaffaland for work, and delayed in an airport" and admired the love she had for her furbaby 'Murphy', I'd often bump into at the bank, things were looking good, we'd chat much longer than we should have at the desk, but it was all positive, she was back at the gym, things were looking up for my friend.
Then it came, a message just before I went to bed last night.. 22:55 "Hey hun, not sure you know about Mandi yet"... My heart sunk, for yesterday my courageously brave, inspirational, funny and caring friend Mandi passed away.
6 months ago I posted about the importance of having your smears done, I have offered to come with you, talk you through it, and hold your hand. I can not stress enough how an early diagnosis can be the difference between life and death.
From the granddaughter that never got to meet her grandmother, from the 22 year old who has already been through it, from the Gynaecology nurse that will walk beside you, from the now 32 year old patient to be, and from the friend of Mandi for whom it was too late, again I ask you, please do not put it off any longer, avoid, or fear your smear, please, please, please make your appointment today. Smears save lifes 💜
*name changed.
