13/05/2025
For the longest time, I've often got that urge to cry for no reason. Those things happen in the most random moments, and I've dealt with this growing up. You might know me as someone who can endure things easily, as I didnโt want my emotions to get the best of me, so I fought them, held them in, and pretended everything was alright. But behind the facade of toughness lay a shattered person; a person whoโs dealing with a lot of problems; a person who feels that everyone is against him; and a person who doesnโt ask for help. โHow could you handle anything without breaking?โ I didnโt, I was barely holding myself together. Throughout my entire life, I've felt like a contestant in an unending competition. There was always this unspoken pressure to excel and to surpass everyone else. I feel like I'm spending my entire life trying to prove to everyone that I can always be the best. There are days when I barely have the energy to keep going; Sometimes, I can't help but envy others because it seems like life isn't as hard on them. They don't have this constant pressure hanging over their heads. It feels like they have the freedom to breathe, to live, and to enjoy the little things without the weight of the world on their shoulders.
I don't know when this unending battle will end. I don't know when I can rest easily without feeling guilty for not being the best. I just want a moment of peace, where I can breathe without the weight of expectations crushing me. I had been so sure I didn't need anyone's words because I had my own. Not until I met Drea, It was strange because, at that moment, I wasn't looking for anything. Yet, when those words were spoken, I felt something shift inside. I thought I was strong in my own independence, thinking that I didn't need anyone to say the things I'd been longing for years. But hearing them come from herโhearing them directed at me made all the difference. It was like someone had reached into my chest and pulled out the silence I didn't know was weighing me down. All the doubts I hadn't even admitted to myselfโthey all went still. And it wasn't because the words were magic or revolutionary, but because they were exactly what I needed, she was exactly what I needed.
I went to countless therapies since she made me want to be better not just for us, but for myself too. I knew it wasn't about putting yourself first all the time, but about seeing how I could grow alongside her. Being with her helped me see the parts of myself that needed more attention. She helped me see that becoming a better person wasn't just about you. It was about learning to accept myself, flaws and all, and still wanting to improve. She gave me a reason to see my own worth.
Now, I can look back and see how much you've changed me. You made me shine in a way I never thought was possible. You showed me that I wasn't just the dark shade I thought I was; I had something beautiful inside me all along.
In this fast-paced world, with so many expectations and demands put upon us, itโs okay to feel consumed by anxiety, fear, what-ifs, what couldโve been, but itโs okay too to take a moment to pause and catch your breath. Feeling tired is a testament to the effort youโre putting in. Itโs a reassuring sign that youโre on the right track. So, when you feel drained, donโt see it as a setback; see it as a symbol of excellence.
โ Real story credit: Xyriel Yohan ๐ค
Let this be a reminder that you donโt have to face everything alone. That seeking help isnโt weakness โ itโs bravery. That therapy isnโt for broken โ itโs for hopeful. You are not alone. Your story matters. Healing is possible โค๏ธโ๐ฉน
๐ผ๏ธ: Alexandrea Nichole Casilagan
โ๐ป: Alexandrea Nichole Casilagan
