03/06/2026
God’s Longest Coffee Break
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According to tradition, God created the universe in six days. Fair enough.
But looking around, it feels increasingly as though He spent six days creating it and the next few thousand years avoiding customer service.
You can understand a few minor oversights:
- A typo in a galaxy ;
- A misplaced asteroid ;
- Maybe even mosquitoes.
But wars? Childhood cancer? Famine? Genocide? Killings ? Entire populations praying desperately while things somehow get worse?
At some point, “mysterious ways” starts sounding suspiciously like “unavailable for comment.”
Imagine any human architect presenting a project like Earth.
“Welcome to my masterpiece. Millions of children will die of hunger despite there being enough food. People will slaughter one another over borders, flags, and interpretations of ancient books. Some will spend decades battling cancer. Others will lose everyone they love. Nobody knows why they’re here, where they’re going, or what the point is.”
The investors would not be impressed.
Yet somehow we’re told this is the work of an all-powerful, all-knowing designer whose plan is perfect.
That’s a level of confidence usually found only in tech startups and cult leaders.
The world often feels less like intelligent design and more like a beta version accidentally released to full range production.
Natural disasters flatten cities.
Diseases appear without warning.
Good people suffer.
Cruel people prosper.
Meanwhile, many religions assure us that everything is proceeding exactly according to the grand plan of God.
And then there is prayer.
Billions of requests submitted daily.
“Please save my child.”
“Please stop the war.”
“Please cure this disease.”
The response rate appears difficult to distinguish from random chance.
If Heaven operated like a corporation, its customer satisfaction scores would be catastrophic.
The official explanation, of course, is that God’s wisdom and plan exceeds human understanding.
Which is convenient.
Wars ? Part of the plan.
Massacres ? Also part of the plan.
Floodings ? Checked.
Horrible degenerative illnesses ? Same plan babe.
At that point the theory becomes remarkably resistant to performance reviews.
Perhaps God is absent.
The universe is His unfinished WhatsApp group project.
The suffering, the confusion, the endless tragedies—items sitting on a celestial to-do list for millennia.
Somewhere beyond space and time, there may be a divine sticky note reading:
* End wars
* Feed hungry children
* Cure cancer
* Explain existence
* Reduce human cruelty
And underneath, in immortal handwriting:
“Important. Will definitely deal with this someday.”
Marc Bestgen
