Soliloquy of the Soul

03/06/2026

Going through some old blog posts, and sometimes I forget that I imported my entire college blog onto my website a while back, so I can go all the way back to 2004 and read random Kim ramblings. Lol. Some are quite humorous and humbling. 😃

But this one stopped me in my tracks today as it shows my early years of questioning while also showing the devotion I've had to the Divine for years. I had to laugh when I referred to myself as the "perfect little Christian girl." I had no idea that later, I'd build an entire blog around documenting her evolution and spiritual journey.

PS - I also love that it imported all the original comments to the posts. So many great Xanga memories with the B-Town crew. Getting me all nostalgic. ❤

https://www.soliloquyofthesoul.com/2004/10/11/857/?fbclid=IwY2xjawSNbT5leHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZBAyMjIwMzkxNzg4MjAwODkyAAEe_97Flkl_tQMgHeLPw15cX0gR6Ha_CtFJuhjalRv3tMdMefll_uTLsTZYK0s_aem_mbk8614eUakb1jjplTbbkw

Oct 11, 2004 Uncategorized I want to feel YouI need to hear You You are the hopeThat keeps me trusting How could it beAny better than this? You won’t let me fall ‘Cause You’re all I wantYou’re all I needYou’re everythingEverythingYou’re all want                   ....

19/05/2026

Doing a little test here and showing off my peonies in the process. 🥰 Can anybody see this page?? lol.

Give me a like or comment if you do! Just experimenting to see how visible it is. Thanks for your help!! 💙🙏✨

07/03/2026

When I was a Christian, I used to believe that God and Jesus could take care of all my problems. Regardless of what it was – schoolwork, dealing with a bully, having a sick loved one, healing from a broken heart, etc., I always trusted that all is well because God has my back and will take care of everything. So all my fear and uncertainty were replaced with peace and faith that it would all work out. No matter what happened in life, Jesus could handle it, and I’d be ok. I think that’s why I was so positive and optimistic growing up (perhaps even toxically so). No matter how hard things got, I trusted the plan and the process. God’s got me.

But then life made me really jaded. I left the church while in college after realizing that most organized religion is a farce meant to control and enslave. The worldview I had committed my life to came crumbling down around me, and I was broken for a little while. I didn’t know what to believe or who I was, etc. I still felt there was something out there, though I couldn’t name it yet and didn’t feel comfortable with the vernacular I grew up with. When faced with problems, I still felt connected to God and still had a faith that I’d be taken care of. I just didn’t know how to label it. As time went on and as our family went through some struggles (moving to Louisiana and North Carolina, discord with my family, co-parenting woes, job/financial issues, being away from family without much support, etc.), my spirit became broken. For the first time in my life, I began to doubt God and Jesus and my path, etc. If God’s on my side, why are we struggling so much? If we’re always divinely cared for, why do we keep getting hit with blow after blow? Shouldn’t things be easier?

Then life got really hard – the world shut down and our family was torn apart. Out of nowhere, our kids were gone. Never to be in our home again. Will never tuck them in again. Will never make their breakfast or take them to or pick them up from school. No more lazy weekends together – no more movie nights or water gun fights. Our world shattered. And we broke. Plain and simple. Parts of us died that year. We still grieve every day.

That was almost 6 years ago.

Our spirits were crushed. How could something like this happen? Why would a loving God allow such strife and suffering? How do we “stay positive” when world leaders are manipulating the masses, including our kids, and those with opinions like ours are shunned and looked down upon? How do we find the will to live without our kids?

So where am I going with all of this? Like I said, when I was a Christian, it was easy for me to have faith and trust God was on my side and all is well. I was able to put my faith in something outside of myself and trust that that entity would have my back. So what I’m currently working on in my spiritual life is getting back to that firm faith that all is well. I don’t have to believe it in Jesus’ name (though I suppose it couldn’t hurt), but I need to shift back into the perspective that there’s something bigger than me in control helping guide all the things. Can my worry and strife be replaced with calm reassurance and faith? Can my resentment for the church be replaced with bright curiosity for this beautiful, magical world and everything in it? Despite our trials over the years, we have still been blessed 100x over and been divinely cared for in times of trouble. We have had plenty of “God moments” when everything worked out exactly as it should. I mean, look at what happened with Shope Creek for example. We were taken advantage of and literally left homeless and jobless. But what happened? We were taken care of. Our friend Kathy welcomed us with open arms. We got to live in a big beautiful house (a definite upgrade from the camper) with a woman who loves us and encouraged us all the time and baked us goodies everyday. Our needs were met financially through her generosity (and me cashing out my retirement), and we lived a beautiful little life with her for a few months, and it became a time we will truly cherish forever. It hasn’t been all pain and strife, and I recognize that. We are truly blessed.

I guess it’s just that when I don’t have a certain faith with prescribed methods of dealing with pain, etc., I’m kinda left to my own devices trying to figure it out and create my own methods to connect with my spirit. I guess I can see why people follow methods set before them – forging your own path is not for the faint of heart. It is challenging and can often leave you feeling like you are going insane.

But following my own truth and inner guidance still beats following century old dogma that isn’t historically accurate and doesn’t sit well with my soul. I’ll continue to follow my inner guide over any outer establishments. But the faith that all is well…I could definitely use more of that. No more fear or anxiety. Only faith and peace.

“Ye, too, are Gods…what I can do, you can do.” – Jesus

That’s the vibe Imma follow.

https://www.soliloquyofthesoul.com/2026/01/24/ramblings-about-faith/

16/04/2023

Posting this so late but I’ve been working on getting it wrapped up all day, and I’m just too excited to stop now! 😆

I am so happy to announce that I have my first digital download available! 🙌✨💙

Many of you know that I’ve been working on a book for a few years - a devotional book of sorts with a daily reading, journal prompt, and affirmations. While I am still working on its finishing touches, I wanted to also offer separately a compilation of affirmations. These are the same affirmations that will be in the upcoming devotional book/journal. These are affirmations I have often said to myself over the years. Taken from years of reading scripture and Daily Word and books of mantras and prayers ... anything uplifting and soul-affirming I could get my hands on. ✨💙🤓

Recognizing the power in our words, I write from my soul to help create the life I want for myself and humanity in general. I hope you, too, can connect with these words and that they uplift your spirit and remind you of the power of who you are.✨

From now until May 1, I’m offering it on a donation basis, so you can download it for as little as $0.01!

It’s exciting for me to have something to share and offer my community. 🥰 May the collection of my words uplift and inspire your soul as they did mine writing them. 🔮🙏✨

When you download, you’ll also be added to my email list and will receive a discount on the upcoming Soliloquy of the Soul Journal. 🙌

Thank you to all who have supported me and my writing over the years! There is so much power is sharing our stories and our journeys. Writing has always been so healing for me, and it’s always been my intention that my words help heal others. There’s so much division and despair out there these days... can’t we all come together and unite in the simple fact that our world is beautiful and wondrous and that love really is the best ever? 🤷‍♀️😅❤️✨🙏

Link in bio to download 🙏🙏🙏

15/04/2023

What a whirlwind of a week!! 😍🤪

We have been resting and processing and integrating...whew! ✨

Thank you to everyone who has reached out. Your love and support means so much to us! It’s what gives us the strength and courage to do this. Just one positive comment is worth thousands of negative ones. 🙏✨🙏

Overall, we feel really great about the premiere! It’s kinda insane to think about the hours and hours of conversations we filmed and only minutes of it make the cut, lol. There’s so much more to our story! But I know they only have a certain amount of time and can’t show everything.

That’s why I’m grateful to have this space! We can fill in any missing pieces and keep the conversation going. We look forward to engaging with everyone!

The hardest parts of all this are 1) surrendering to the editing gods and not having any control over how we are portrayed and 2) dealing with the onslaught of criticism from people who don’t know the real us at all. But we knew that was something we were getting into by doing this project. It comes with the territory.

The good part of that is that I have hella self-esteem. Lol. I know who I am and those who know me know who I am, so I’m not too concerned about what some strangers on the Internet say. Sure, it’s hard sometimes. But we’re learning to laugh a lot of it off and simply not tolerate the hatred. The block button is reeeeaaaaally easy for me to push. 😁

Thank you again for joining us on this journey! Let the wild ride continue. 😎🥰🙏✨

15/04/2023

Lately, I’ve been journaling and meditating a lot on trying to define myself – to express the truth that my soul is telling me about who I am (who we all are, really).

I grew up with the worldview that I was a sinner in need of God’s grace. Even though God loves me, I still “fell short of the glory of God” meaning that I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t complete on my own, and without God and Jesus’s saving grace, I was nothing but an unworthy earthling who was destined to burn in a lake of fire for all eternity. This combined with my Leo/Cancer combination in my astrology making me so fearful of people’s opinions of me and so desperately needing everyone’s approval, of course I was the epitome of the perfect little Christian girl. I worked so hard to never give anyone a reason not to like me. I did everything right, and I was definitely going to heaven and making God happy.

Since releasing that limiting worldview, I’ve come into my own divinity. I’ve realized the innate power I have, power that is given to me by God (/Life/The Universe/whatever you want to call the divine essence that’s in all of us). Jesus said it himself: “Ye too are gods. What I can do, you can do.” Why do we cling to every other word he says literally, but then come up with a million metaphorical explanations for a quote like this? Also, nothing is impossible with God. That means miracles can happen. Magic can happen. Maybe beautiful stones and crystals can hold certain helpful vibrations. Maybe the stars and planets can give us messages and effect us. Maybe angels and guides can constantly be around us. Maybe I can heal like Jesus did. Anything is possible.

Read more at:

https://www.soliloquyofthesoul.com/2014/03/12/evolving-into-my-power/

25/09/2019

Who else feels this one? 👏👏👏
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I’m really good at taking things for granted. Instead of appreciating what I have, I’m always longing for something different. I have a really hard time being content and not feeling like I’m constantly striving. Instead of recognizing the blessings in front of me, I’m feeling like I always have to attain more.
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I’ve lived so much of my life in the “if only’s” - if only we had more money, if only I had a baby, if only I could publish a book, if only I had a more fulfilling job or closer relationships.
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Constantly wanting more. It’s basically self-induced suffering. 🤯
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I can admit that my life is so different than I ever thought it would be.
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I can admit that I’m in a sucky place with some of my family and it really fu***ng hurts. 💔
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I can admit that sometimes I feel stuck and unable to attain my dreams.
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I can admit that sometimes I’m terrified at the unknowing of how certain things in my life will play out.
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But I can also admit that so many of my dreams have come true. 💃🏻
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I can admit that I’ve created magic and miracles in my own life. 🔮
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I can admit that I fu***ng love who I am and all the things I get to experience on a daily basis regardless of what others might think about it. 🤷‍♀️
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I can admit that despite its curveballs, I love my life! 😍
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What can you release in order to welcome in what’s right in front of you? Can you release some expectations of how you think things should be in order to just appreciate what is? 🤔 Let me hear your thoughts! 🙌💙

17/09/2019

17/09/2019

I’ve been thinking about true inner peace and carefree-ness a lot lately. I follow Danielle LaPorte's “The Desire Map” model, so I’m constantly self-assessing and asking myself: “How do I want to feel?”

Lately, things like “peaceful” and “carefree” are the answers to that question. Living in Asheville has been a magical experience. But it’s also been a challenging experience. We’ve experienced things we never expected, and it’s pushed us in ways we couldn’t imagine. I spend a lot of time reflecting on the last several years of my life with just a deer-in-the-headlights gaze… Whew. What a ride.

The Joseph Campbell quote comes to mind: “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” I’m learning that you must release your expectations of what you thought life would be to love the life in front of you. I feel like I’ve been fighting things for years. Fighting living here. Fighting worldview shifts. Fighting family conflicts. Fighting finances and job security/satisfaction. I kinda feel like I’ve been on edge for seven years.

However, through all the craziness of life and shifts, I’m remembering that peace is something you create within yourself, not something created by external circumstances or events in life. You create your own peace by focusing your inner thoughts on the truth that you are divinely whole, perfect, and always cared for.

When I was an active Christian, peace came easily for me. I was able to say, “It’s cool – Jesus’s got this” and trust that all will be well because my God will always take care of me. Then, things shifted. I let go of a more naive and simplistic view of the world to see the world how it really is. To see (and experience) the evil and most low-vibrational. To see the corruption. To see the expansion and vastness of cultures and areas around the world. To learn the truth of certain things those in power and the media don’t want us to pay attention to. … All of that did away with the naive, simplistic, always-sunny view I had on life up until then. I spent several years in anguish as I made the shift of releasing old belief systems and what that meant for me and my family. I had panic attacks upon the realization of certain things about how our world works and the truths of the systems in place that are designed to work against us. I empathized with humans in other areas of the world, living completely different lives than I could ever imagine, and realizing – they are just as divine as I. Jesus or no Jesus.

These shifts and realizations turned my peace into panic. Not only was my view of the world changing, but I was also dealing with what that meant for some of my close personal relationships. Throw all of that on top of living in an expensive city away from family and having a hard time getting settled and stable, and it’s just been a s**t show of anxiety, fear, and depression. There goes that unshakable peace I’d always had growing up. That unwavering faith that all was well and I was safe and cared for and on the right path and everyone loved me and everything was perfect. A big dose of reality and life burst that bubble pretty quickly.

But perhaps it was a bubble that was meant to burst. I try to focus on the growth that bursting has caused. Immense, life-expanding, breathtakingly-beautiful, no-turning-back kinda growth. And I suppose that’s the whole reason for it.

So back to my Peace. (And yeah, with a capital P.) I used to get my Peace from knowing that Jesus loved me and that as long as I loved him and did good things and fessed up when I didn’t, all would be well. God would take care of me, so I had nothing to fear. Peace was inevitable.

I can still find that Peace using the same energy and intent as before, but now it’s just shifted to a more broad idea of being divinely created, cared for, and protected. I seek my peace now through the realization that I have all the power to do whatever I want in life. That I can create magic and manifest miracles through trust and faith that Spirit will always care for me. I’ve studied and understand the laws of the Universe and the power we have to create our own realities. It’s foundationally the same teachings I was raised under.

Ask and it will be given.

Seek and ye shall find.

Ask and the door will be opened.

The kingdom of God is among you.

The Christ Spirit lives within you.

These foundational truths feel as real to me now as they ever have. It feels the same – like the connection to God I felt growing up. The feeling is the same. The definition of it is just a little different. But it’s the same Peace. And that’s what I need to remind myself of. Release the worry that I’ve got it all wrong, the shame I have for letting people down, and the guilt I feel for the pain I’ve caused people in the past. Once those are gone, it’s the same Peace. I need to remember it’s there and focus on it more. I still have access to it. I’ve never lost it. It’s just been clouded and buried for a while. It’s time to bring it back to the surface.

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” – John 14:27

Rediscovering Peace  Uncategorized  Add comments Sep 172019   I’ve been thinking about true inner peace and carefree-ness a lot lately. I follow Danielle LaPorte’s “The Desire Map” model, so I’m constantly self-assessing and asking myself: “How do I want to feel?”Lately, things like...

16/09/2019

😂😂😂
.. for real, though.