Judy's Love Letter

06/14/2026

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Some of the most common fears I hear from those at the bedside after a death are these:
"I didn’t do enough."
"I should have been there more."
"I should have stayed longer."
"I should have known what to say, what to do, how to make it better."

When we read or hear things afterward about end-of-life care, it is almost impossible not to think, "why didn’t I do that?"

Learning after the fact does not mean you failed before it. It simply means you are human, doing the best you could with the tools, knowledge, and strength you had at the time.

Sitting at the bedside, especially for the first time, comes with uncertainty, fear, and impossible decisions.
You gave medications even when it scared you.
You didn't give medications because they scared you.
You fed them because you thought it was right.
You stopped feeding and carried the weight of that choice.
You stepped out of the room, and they took their last breath.

You showed up when you could, advocated when you knew how, trusted others when you needed help, and loved in the ways available to you. None of this is a flaw. These doubts and second-guessing yourself are not signs that you did something wrong; they are signs that you cared deeply.

You don’t have to have all the answers to get this right. Even those of us with experience still question ourselves at certain bedsides. What matters most is that you showed up with your heart, that you tried, and that you loved. That was enough.

Remember this: you did everything you possibly could. You did the best that you could with what you knew, what you had, and who you were in that moment, and you showed up, that is the gift.

Do not compare your story to someone else’s or second-guess what you gave. This was never a competition or a test of self-worth. It isn’t about what others might have done or how you think you should have done it. It is about what you did, and that you were there, and to the person in that bed, that was everything.

And if this was your first time caring for someone at the end of their life, and you learned something that may help you show up differently for someone else someday, or allows you to offer wisdom to a friend walking this path, then what you did here mattered in another way too. You grew. You evolved. We continue to do better, and that is what matters.

xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net

05/11/2026

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Grief equals deep love. We grieve hard because we love hard! If love is holy then so is grief.

It is in my bones!

My Garden of Grief

03/26/2026

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02/21/2026

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"Grief One Day at a Time" (Alan D Wolfelt)

*double click on pic to read fully if need*

11/25/2025

10/31/2025

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10/31/2025

I am willing and open to participating in speaking opportunities, discussing the role of an end-of-life doula and the services I offer. Feel free to reach out to me! 606-615-1190.

09/19/2025

With my services as an End-of-life Doula, I offer legacy life projects, living funerals, planning for a vigil, active vigiling, and family grief comfort/support. I also offer services for infant/child deaths as well. Please contact me for a free consultation or more information! 606-615-1190 or contact The Healing Nest.

09/11/2025

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Echoes of Presence

In the quiet spaces where silence softly lingers,
we feel the gentle echo of those we have loved and lost,
their presence remains,
everwoven into memory, breath, and heart.

Sometimes it arrives as a whisper,
like a brush of wind against your cheek,
felt by the heart alone.

Sometimes it arrives as memory,
the curve of a smile,
the echo of laughter,
the warmth of a hand once held.

Sometimes it whispers in the world,
a bird in the morning sky,
a butterfly dancing in the sun,
a song that drifts from nowhere,
a coincidence that stops you mid-step.

Whether these signs are real
or just reflections of love held deep,
pausing to notice them
becomes its own kind of connection.

Sometimes it is simply
closing your eyes,
breathing in the quiet,
and remembering fully,
their voice,
their touch,
their laughter,
living still in the chambers of your heart.

And in this remembering, we feel them near,
in the quiet moments,
within the small sighs,
the tender spaces between breaths,
a lasting presence,
a love that endures,
woven forever into the rhythm of our lives.

~ 'Echoes of Presence' by Spirit of a Hippie

✍️ Mary Anne Byrne

~ Image via Pinterest

08/27/2025

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Life is brief, so let the years be wild, not tame,
carry your laughter as a lantern, keep alive its flame.

Do not bow to the story that calls it graceful,
dance with mischief, let daring crown your name.

Every wrinkle can hold a spark of restless skies,
every scar can echo a wild untold claim.

Stories outlive the silence of measured years,
tell them boldly, for memory loves no shame.

The ground will one day call you home again,
leave behind stories carried by the wind.

-Etheric Echoes

Art: Etheric Echoes