Skylark Somatic Therapy

10/15/2026

Sometimes the person who seems to need the least is carrying more than anyone realizes.

You may be the one who checks in, makes the plans, and notices when someone else is struggling. But when it's your turn to answer “How are you?” you find yourself saying, “I'm fine.”

Perhaps there isn't an easy answer. Perhaps you don't want to worry anyone. Or perhaps you've learned that your relationships go more smoothly when you don't need very much.

There can be loneliness in being appreciated for your strength while feeling unsure whether there's room for your struggle.

My September article explores why we silence parts of ourselves, what those patterns protect, and how we can begin making room for more of who we are.

Read it here: https://skylarksomatictherapy.com/self-silencing-relational-trauma/ 🌿

09/01/2026

Sometimes “I'm fine” means something closer to:
I'm still functioning.

We're getting up. Going to work. Caring for our families.

Answering messages. Solving problems. Doing what needs to be done.

Nothing is falling apart.

And that can make it surprisingly difficult to recognize when we're struggling.

When chronic stress has become familiar, we may stop noticing the quieter signs that we're reaching our limits: irritability, tension, exhaustion, emotional disconnection, difficulty relaxing, or feeling overwhelmed by things we would normally manage with ease.

We may simply keep pushing.

For people accustomed to being capable and dependable, functioning can become the standard we use to determine whether we're okay.

But our bodies may be telling a different story.

Healing can include learning to notice those signals earlier—before exhaustion or overwhelm becomes the only thing strong enough to get our attention.

Not because we need to become less capable.

Because taking care of ourselves shouldn't require reaching a breaking point first.

I explore this and other hidden experiences of high-functioning anxiety in The Hidden Cost of Being High-Functioning.

https://skylarksomatictherapy.com/high-functioning-anxiety-relational-trauma/

08/31/2026

Some people are remarkably comfortable being the person others rely on—and surprisingly uncomfortable when they have to rely on someone else.

Giving feels natural.

Receiving can bring guilt, discomfort, indebtedness, or the urge to quickly regain our independence.

For people shaped by relational trauma, this pattern can have deep roots. When asking for help, expressing a need, or depending on someone wasn't consistently met with care, learning to need less could become a way of protecting ourselves.

Years later, that protection may look like competence, independence, or being the person who always has everything handled.

But relationships aren't sustained by what we can provide for one another alone.

Connection asks us to receive, too—to allow ourselves to be helped, comforted, supported, and cared for without immediately needing to earn it back.

Healing doesn't mean becoming less independent. It can mean discovering that needing other people doesn't have to cost us our sense of safety or our sense of self.

I explore this in greater depth in The Hidden Cost of Being High-Functioning.

https://skylarksomatictherapy.com/high-functioning-anxiety-relational-trauma/

08/26/2026

Healing doesn't necessarily mean the old patterns disappear.

You may still get overwhelmed.

You may still overfunction when life becomes uncertain.

You may still slip into perfectionism or find yourself trying to control an outcome you can't control.

But maybe you notice sooner.

You recover more quickly.

You recognize when you're reaching your limits.

You ask for help.

You trust what your body is telling you.

And when an old pattern returns, you're increasingly able to meet it with curiosity rather than treating it as evidence that you've somehow failed.

Healing isn't about becoming less thoughtful, responsible, or capable.

It's about having more choice in how you live—and discovering that safety, connection, and worth don't have to be earned.

I explore this in the final section of my latest article:
The Hidden Cost of Being High-Functioning
https://skylarksomatictherapy.com/high-functioning-anxiety-relational-trauma/

08/20/2026

One of the more confusing effects of relational trauma is that emotionally healthy people don't always feel immediately comfortable.

Consistency can feel unfamiliar.

Kindness can make us wonder what someone really wants.

Calm can feel like the quiet before something goes wrong.

At other times, we may feel intensely drawn toward relationships that recreate emotional dynamics our nervous system already recognizes.

What we experience as chemistry isn't always compatibility.
Sometimes it's familiarity.

Understanding this isn't about distrusting attraction or analyzing every relationship. It's about becoming curious about what our nervous system has learned to associate with connection.

I explore this relationship between familiarity, safety, high-functioning anxiety, and relational trauma in my latest article:

The Hidden Cost of Being High-Functioning
https://skylarksomatictherapy.com/high-functioning-anxiety-relational-trauma/

08/19/2026

Many people with high-functioning anxiety are genuinely thoughtful, caring, and dependable.

The difficulty isn't those qualities.

It's when our sense of worth becomes intertwined with what we do for other people.

We become indispensable—while quietly feeling invisible.

Needed—while believing we don't need anyone.

Respected—while feeling deeply unknown.

For someone whose early experiences taught them that vulnerability wasn't consistently met with comfort or understanding, being useful can feel much safer than being seen.
But genuine connection requires something different.

It asks us to risk saying:
💛 I need help.
💛 That hurt.
💛 I don't know.
💛 I can't do this alone.

I explore why vulnerability can feel so threatening—and why it is also essential to meaningful connection—in my latest article on high-functioning anxiety and relational trauma.
https://skylarksomatictherapy.com/high-functioning-anxiety-relational-trauma/

08/18/2026

One of the most confusing things about chronic anxiety is that eventually, it may stop feeling like anxiety.

We adapt.
We keep functioning.
We push through.

Meanwhile, the body may continue communicating through difficulty sleeping, muscle tension, headaches, jaw clenching, digestive issues, exhaustion, difficulty relaxing, or emotional disconnection.

It's a little like living next to a firehouse.

At first, every siren gets your attention. Years later, the sirens haven't stopped—you've simply learned not to notice them.

For people living with high-functioning anxiety, stress can become the background soundtrack of everyday life.

Learning to recognize those signals can be an important part of reconnecting with ourselves.

I explore this in my latest article:
The Hidden Cost of Being High-Functioning
https://skylarksomatictherapy.com/high-functioning-anxiety-relational-trauma/

08/17/2026

High-functioning anxiety is easy to overlook because it often looks like the qualities we admire.

Responsibility. Dedication. Reliability. An exceptional work ethic.
But sometimes achievement becomes more than something we value.

It becomes something we rely on.

For people whose earliest relationships taught them that approval, connection, or emotional safety depended on being helpful, successful, easy, or responsible, accomplishing something can provide a temporary sense of relief.

For a moment, the anxiety quiets.

The difficulty is that the relief rarely lasts.

This doesn't mean ambition or achievement is unhealthy. It means there may be value in becoming curious about what happens inside us when we stop accomplishing.

I explore this—and the relationship between high-functioning anxiety, relational trauma, and the nervous system—in my latest article:

The Hidden Cost of Being High-Functioning: How Relational Trauma and High-Functioning Anxiety Can Keep You Successful—But Never Truly at Ease

https://skylarksomatictherapy.com/high-functioning-anxiety-relational-trauma/

08/13/2026

Sometimes what we call boredom is actually a nervous system that's unfamiliar with calm.

You finally have an afternoon without obligations—and feel restless.

You're on vacation but can't stop thinking about everything waiting for you at home.

You finish what needed to be done and immediately find something else to do.

When we've spent years anticipating problems, monitoring other people's reactions, or relying on productivity to feel in control, slowing down can feel surprisingly uncomfortable.

Not because we don't want peace.

Because our nervous system may not recognize it yet.

I explore why this happens—and how relational trauma can shape what the nervous system learns to experience as safe—in my latest article.

The Hidden Cost of Being High-Functioning
https://skylarksomatictherapy.com/high-functioning-anxiety-relational-trauma/

08/13/2026

Sometimes what we call boredom is actually a nervous system that's unfamiliar with calm.

You finally have an afternoon without obligations—and feel restless.

You're on vacation but can't stop thinking about everything waiting for you at home.

You finish what needed to be done and immediately find something else to do.

When we've spent years anticipating problems, monitoring other people's reactions, or relying on productivity to feel in control, slowing down can feel surprisingly uncomfortable.

Not because we don't want peace.

Because our nervous system may not recognize it yet.

I explore why this happens—and how relational trauma can shape what the nervous system learns to experience as safe—in my latest article.

The Hidden Cost of Being High-Functioning
https://skylarksomatictherapy.com/high-functioning-anxiety-relational-trauma/
[blog link]

Explore how relational trauma can fuel high-functioning anxiety, perfectionism, overfunctioning, chronic stress, and difficulty feeling truly safe.