09/03/2026
Ecclesiastes 4:10-12
[10] For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! [11] Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? [12] And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (ESV)
This verse is heavy on my doula heart and especially my mother heart. Part of the reason I started all of this was because I am one of those mothers doing motherhood alone. I also reject the idea that "you cannot pour from an empty glass," because mothers do it daily. This does mean we sit with the lack, but we can accept it as a current reality we face.
Many mothers, especially today, do not have villages. Their family may be absent due to proximity, their inability to help with today’s busy schedules, or even the mother's choice to preserve the safety of her children. Many fathers are working long hours or multiple jobs; they may be absent in their children’s lives mentally or physically, or they may be present but completely burnt out as well.
Today is so divisive, driven by "all or nothing" beliefs, the idea that "you are either with us or against us." We see this in politics, in churches, and in mom groups; disagreements are seen as offensive. I believe that is counterproductive to healthy motherhood. I will also admit, I have been there as well. I’ve fallen into that trap of judgment before. I’ve been the mom who looked at another and thought I knew better, instead of realizing we were both just trying to survive. I've had to learn that locking arms is much more powerful than pointing fingers.
I know very few moms who aren't pouring from an empty cup. This verse is a call to sign up for that meal train for a newly postpartum mom, to help the mother struggling in the grocery store with her toddler, and to encourage another mother’s goals, even if they are different from what you would choose for your family. God's vision is for us to support one another. We have to consciously choose to be a part of "the village"; it doesn't come passively.
There is even a living visualization of this in our own bodies. A typical umbilical cord is divinely made of three 'strands' two arteries and one vein. They are incredibly strong and effective, withstanding nine months of pregnancy and the intensity of labor, even in most cases when there are knots or the cord is nuchal. If you have cut one you know they aren't fragile. They don’t break under the pressure; they sustain life through it. That is the kind of motherhood we need: a threefold cord that withstands the pressure because we aren't meant to carry the life-force alone.
We know a pregnancy can withstand and persevere with two "strands" (one artery and one vein), but it is riskier and less stable. It is also a beautiful representation of the grit that women have in motherhood even when not fully supported! We can do it alone or just with our partners, but we were designed for the three.
