04/05/2021
this picture was taken February 2018, so my sophomore year. It was right before my first concert, so definitely a good night, but although the picture’s deceiving, this was probably one of the hardest time period’s in my life.
My mental health was an absolute wreck. I had pretty much no sense of self-love and self-worth and was turning to really unhealthy coping mechanisms to try and ease some of the pain. My anxiety specifically was at an all time high and I was taking it out on the people around me.
Some of those people closer to me knew. They could sense that something was wrong and saw beyond my smiles. My social media at the time was crowded with smiling selfies just like this one. Why would anyone have known?
I didn’t think that it was okay to admit that I was struggling. Suddenly it was too late. I found myself at the lowest of lows and really had to climb my way up from there. I lost a lot of people and I lost a big portion of my sense of self.
Luckily, I’m in a much better place now. But I wasn’t. And you probably never would’ve known from the front I put up. Online and in real life. That proved to be the most dangerous part.
Check in on yourself, especially this month - and REACH OUT. You do not have to go it alone. Ever. Even when you think you do. Try your best to remember it. I know I could’ve used it then and I try to remind myself as much as I can now.
May is mental health awareness month. Let’s break the stigma💚
