06/09/2026
Words to live by!
Being liked and being respected are not the same thing.
Most of us spent years trying to be liked. We called back quickly. We over-explained. We made ourselves available in ways that cost more than they gave.
Respect comes from something quieter.
It comes from the person who doesn't chase. Who doesn't over-share. Who doesn't need to announce what she's working on before she finishes it. Who returns a favor but doesn't keep score.
Look at the list above as principles, not rules. They're not a guide for being cold or withholding. They're a guide for where your energy actually goes.
Calling someone twice is enough. After that, you've delivered your message. What they do with it is their business, not yours.
Being friendly is good. Being friendlier than the situation requires is something else. It can look like insecurity. It can invite people to take what they haven't earned.
Talking less is harder than it sounds. Most of us were raised to fill silence. But the person who speaks when she has something to say carries more weight when she speaks.
Not revealing your next move isn't about being secretive. It's about protecting your plans from other people's doubt before those plans are ready to survive it.
Being someone's choice, not someone's need, is the one that changes everything. When people need you, they use you. When they choose you, they value you. The difference shows up in how they treat you when things get hard.
And the last one: if someone genuinely improved your life, tell them. Gratitude is one of the few things that grows the more you give it away.
For women over 45, this list lands differently. Because by that point, most of us have already learned some of these the hard way. The knowledge was there. We just needed permission to use it.