12/03/2020
This is not going to be an easy post but let me be honest here...
What usually isn't talked about is how many times you think about your miscarriage throughout the day regardless of how many days have passed since it happened. So much has changed mentally and physically with my body that I'm reminded constantly about how the last several months have changed my life.
My mind wanders to what could have been.
My body reflects the infertility weight gain that no one talks about and I'm heavier than i've ever been in my life.
My thoughts think "how could this happen to me or anyone ever".
I struggle daily claiming that I was a mother despite having nothing to show for it. A loss is a loss no matter how far along you were.
The list goes on and on about the daily mental and physical struggles I deal with pretty silently. I truly can never find the right words to express what I'm and so many others are going through and this post doesn't do it justice.
I'm an overall positive person in life. Most everyone in my life could back me up on that. However, during this season of my life, being positive has been the hardest thing to accomplish.
Accountability is what is pushing me forward during my dark days/my emotional days. Accountability from my husband, from my friends, from my accountability/support group, heck... even accountability from my dogs. I have to remind myself I’m never alone. Movement is my outlet and sometimes I forget that so my accountability support system helps remind me. I set that up for myself over the last 2 years, I've forced myself to place people in my life that will hold me accountable and it's because I knew days like these would come where it takes everything I have in me to get out of bed in the morning.
If you're silently fighting your own battle, no matter what it is, but need help with getting through the day, hit me up. I am going through my own battles just like everyone else but we gotta be kind and stick together.
We got this. 👏🏼 @ Crystal River, Florida
