06/07/2026
Who knows what it’s like to be going along and living your life, doing the best you can to carve out your little world and then your entire world falls out from under you?
This is not a club that I thought I would ever belong to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My new motto for being a cancer survivor, with so many diseases as a result of chemo, is that I’m trying to balance being grateful and hateful.
I’ve talked to so many cancer survivors, chronic pain endurers,
trauma survivors and they all say that as grateful as they are to be alive, theres a normal level of grief for our suffering: the amount of pain and energy that it takes to stay alive and thrive.
You can hate the world and still be grateful to be alive.
I mean, look at me in my bathing suit. I see a science experiment. I would rather wear a trash bag over me to the beach or a pool than be seen in a bathing suit anymore. I hate looking like a freak of nature. 
My usual method of dealing is making a joke about it. But it’s impossible to always reframe thoughts and feel better.
So be bitter, let it go, repeat.
