06/11/2026
I learned a new word today: hypervigilance.
When I looked up the definition, I just sat there staring at it because it described so much of my life that I never had words for. I always thought I was responsible, prepared, independent, resilient, and good at handling hard things. Looking back, I think my nervous system thought I was running from a bear for about 50 years. The funny thing is that I didn’t feel stressed. Life looked productive from the outside. I was building businesses, solving problems, helping people, figuring things out, and doing whatever needed to be done next. If anything, I thought I was handling life pretty well.
As I’ve been doing more work around nervous system regulation, I started seeing a pattern. My five core values are freedom, honesty, growth, family, and security, and when I look back over my life, it seems like I was constantly trying to protect one or more of them. Whether it was relationships, finances, family dynamics, career decisions, or simply trying to create a life that felt aligned, there was always something that felt uncertain. Without realizing it, I was always looking around the corner for the next problem, the next disappointment, the next shoe to drop, or the next fire to put out. I thought I was being responsible. My nervous system thought we were under attack.
Who would have thunk it? No wonder I was tired all the time. No wonder I could sleep for hours and still feel exhausted. My body wasn’t lazy and it wasn’t broken. It was spending an incredible amount of energy watching, preparing, protecting, and trying to keep me safe. The really humbling part is that I had absolutely no idea. That’s more than a blonde moment. That’s decades of living in a pattern that felt so normal I couldn’t even see it.
Lately I’ve been unraveling a lot of this, and to be honest, it’s equal parts freeing and terrifying. Standing in your truth sounds beautiful until you’re actually doing it and realizing how many decisions were made from fear, protection, and survival instead of trust. What I’m discovering, though, is that when the nervous system starts feeling safer, I don’t become less capable and I don’t lose my edge. I simply stop spending so much energy preparing for battles that aren’t actually happening, and that leaves a lot more room for living.
Has anyone else ever learned a word that suddenly explained decades of their life?