Beyond Doula & Respite Care

05/10/2026

To the children who have lost a mom, I see you.
To the mothers who have lost a child, I see you.
To the women who could never have the children they always wanted - I see you.
To all the women who don’t quite feel whole on Mother’s Day - I see you!

Grief is such a peculiar thing. It is a bag that you must carry with you for the rest of your days. Some days that bag is a light weight travel case. It goes with you effortlessly, you almost forget it’s there. Other days that bag is as big and heavy as an antique steamer trunk. It’s impossible to move it without the proper tools.
So today, I won’t say “Happy Mother’s Day”. Instead I will say “I see you and I love you!” Take care of yourself and be patient.
Love always,
Sam 💜

01/06/2025

Grief involves coping with loss. It does not only apply to death. Everyone's grief is different and can fall into any (or all) of these categories.

11/01/2024

Dia de los mu***os!
(Day of the dead)

What a celebration it is!
This celebration of our neighbors to the south is unlike any other. Filled with family, friends, food and decoration it is a way to remember and welcome back loved ones who have passed on.

Its origins date back over 3,000 years ago being practiced by the Olmecs, Aztecs, Mayans and many other indigenous peoples of the Americas.
It is believed, starting the night of Oct 31st through Nov 2 (this date varies depending on what part of Mexico you are in) the wall between the living and dead thins and the dead are able to travel back to visit friends and family still living. Unlike our American halloween where we “scare” our spirits away, the spirits in Mexico are welcomed home, remembered and celebrated. The living assemble beautiful ornate altars (ofrendas) honoring passed loved ones. These ofrendas are often decorated with vibrant marigolds, candles, pictures of the deceased, foods such as candy skulls, breads, tequila and more.
Cemeteries are cleaned, decorated and brightly lit so the spirits can easily find their way home. It is also common for living families to gather in the cemeteries where their loved ones were buried.

Here are some of my favorite facts about Dia de los mu***os:
The first day of this celebration is to honor children who have passed on.
Marigolds are native to Mexico and are in full bloom for Dia de los mu***os. They provide rich vibrant colors and have an intoxicating aroma.
The sugar skulls (calaveras) are absolutely delicious!

10/28/2024

Spooky season is here!

I like so many others LOVE this time of year. The weather is cool, the leaves here in New Hampshire are stunning, I practically live off of hearty soups and stews. AND you get to wear the coziest clothes! What’s not to like?!

Since becoming an End of Life Doula I’ve really started to look at spooky decorations differently. Why do we like skeletons, ghosts and tombstones so much? Because they’re scary of course! But why do we find them scary? We all have a skeletal system and are they really that terrible to look at? We all have a soul (ok, well, most of us. There are a few heinous serial killers I might think otherwise about) depending on your religious and personal beliefs of the afterlife, live on. And what exactly do we find so terrifying about cemeteries and headstones, besides the popular landscaping practices that really aren’t that great for the environment. Could it be that we as a culture have such a disconnect with the dead? If you ask anyone who works closely with death, I think they would agree with me with an astounding “YES”! But how do we change that? What do we do differently? I don’t know the answer, but I do know it starts with a conversation. So this is your invitation to do just that. Talk to your family, talk to friends, talk to your kids and talk to your local death doulas! And let’s start to change how to think and view death and the dead. I mean after all, are we really that different?

Some of my favorite decorations from my travels.

Happy Fall!

Photo credit to my far more talented photographer sister, Fayth W**d

10/12/2024

The Good Death Phenomenon
What is it? Can death be good? How can you ensure you have a good death?

I have been asked over and over “What the heck is a good death?” Well, here it is. Or at least my definition.
A good death is ensuring each aspect of your life is taken care of. Physically being comfortable and pain free, spiritually being at peace, mentally being present. Acknowledging any fears, doubts, regrets or wishes you may have, while honoring your dignity and respect.

Of course death can be good! It is a part of life just as the air and water around us are. Death is inevitable, we are all going to die. BUT that doesn’t mean we should fear death, that doesn’t mean it needs to be painful and it certainly doesn’t mean we shouldn’t talk about it or avoid it. Death is a transition just as birth is. If we can prepare for this transition it just might be a peaceful, painless journey to the next place.

Photo Credit to my wonderful friend Brian Bardo

09/10/2024

I hate that is has become part of my work but it has.
David Kessler is, in my opinion, one of the best grief experts in the country. If you're struggling on how to approach this subject with your kids, give this a listen.
Hug your babies tight 💜

07/24/2024

A great article on one man’s Journey through grief!
If you have the time, give it a read!

Five years after his two teenage children were killed by a drunk driver, Colin Campbell C’91 is finding new ways to grieve—while helping others deal with bereavement through his new book, support groups, and a one-man show he calls the “feel-bad story of the year.”

05/07/2024

04/27/2024

Great article!

Alua Arthur helps people plan for death. A big part of her work is helping them reconcile the lives they lived with the lives they might have wanted. Her memoir is called Briefly Perfectly Human.