Therapist Vaj Thoj Cindy

06/13/2026

I am prepping for a training in September, and I just finished one of the required prerequisite trainings. Sharing it here because I loved it, and it is crucial for all difference makers, especially those who aspire to be therapists, to watch.

Explore neurodiversity-affirming concepts and their application within child and play therapy practice. Discover the foundations of the neurodiversity paradigm, affirming practices, and transform your work with neurodivergent clients!

05/22/2026

A quick lesson about play.

05/15/2026

Spontaneous Therapist Thought of the Day

05/15/2026

To learn more about spiritual bypassing, please visit this link: https://scienceandnonduality.com/article/on-spiritual-bypassing-and-relationship/

Spiritual bypassing is a term I learned recently from a training about spiritually integrated psychotherapy.

The instructor said, “When integrating spirituality to aid with the psychotherapy process, you want to watch for spiritual bypassing.”

“What exactly is it?” I wondered, so I did some research and learned about the term.

Coined by psychotherapist John Welwood, spiritual bypassing is when someone uses spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.

Now why is this important and why am I choosing to share this knowledge with the Hmong community? The Hmong people has always been very spiritual. So much of our history and survival was largely supported by our beliefs in our connectedness to something larger than us, learning to connect, make sense, and be with the unknown and unseen.

After all, over 50 years ago, many of our parents and grandparents left practically everything behind to hope for something that was not a guarantee.

My point here is that in some ways, because we are still working through the wounds of deep oppression, grief, displacement, and exile, in some ways, I believe we are vulnerable to spiritual bypassing.

A simple example? Sim neej no, kuv tiam ntawv los tau lub neej txom nyem. Lwm hnub, mam nthov ntawv dua tshiab los tau lub neej zoo. In this lifetime, I was destined to have a poor life. In the future, I will ask for a new destiny to have a good life.

Spiritual bypassing occurs regardless of religion or faith. Spiritual bypassing is not helpful to any deep psychological healing that needs to happen. If anything, it is probably more of a trauma response to avoid what needs to happen to make true change.

Spirituality can be so helpful to our overall growth, wellness, and development. I encourage you to access help from trained professionals who knows the intricacies of using your spirituality to help you be where you would prefer to be.

04/26/2026

I am trying something new. I am doing a voice recording of my words instead of writing them to be read. I am hoping that this will make my words more accessible to everyone. Feel free to share your input on this.

04/26/2026

04/18/2026

I shared this message 3 years ago today, and it still rings true today.

One of the hardest and necessary steps to making real change in your life is to accept how you contribute to the problem.

04/17/2026

Compassionate Accountability: I see you. I feel for you. I validate you, and I believe you can still do what you were supposed to do. And because I see you, I recognize that you may have limitations, so I am here to help where you need me.

I often wonder why people ask to know why or how come someone is engaging in a certain pattern of behavior to only then invalidate and shame them.

I think we will do better if we ask why or how come only when we believe we can support.

Yes, we never know what someone has or is going through. Many challenges are being addressed in silence or in the confidence of a healthcare setting. That has rang true in my 10+ years of work as a therapist and 24+ years of studying empathy.

04/12/2026

I hear people talk about changing intergenerational patterns and breaking intergenerational curses often while struggling to do the work.

The words “breaking intergenerational patterns/curses” sound so big, but really, it is more intimate. It is a very internal experience.

Waiting around for the big opportunity to come is not it. While waiting, you probably missed all the tiny opportunities that needed your attention to heal, to address, to nourish and nurture.

A quick example of breaking an intergenerational pattern?

“My ancestors did not get to feel their emotions because they feared their lives would end. I feel happy right now. I’m going to allow myself to be in this happy emotion and genuinely feel what my ancestors needed to feel.”

04/08/2026

People often ask me when or how they would know that therapy is helping. I put together a list of the top 3 that has shown up in my practice lately.

It is really amazing to see change begin to sprout. Feel free to add in the comments what you observe in your practice or yourself also.