08/02/2026
So… I’ve been quiet.
Really quiet.
A few months ago, I stepped away from birth work because suddenly, unexpectedly, I became the one giving birth.
I had my son Leo far too early at 25+1 weeks gestation.
What followed an extremely traumatic birth was a tiny baby who needed time in the NICU, and 118 days of learning what it feels like to experience pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and motherhood from a side of the hospital bed I had never known before.
For 118 days, I wasn’t the doula in the room.
I was the mom.
I was the one listening to medical language while trying to process fear at the same time.
I was the one asking questions. Saying no. Asking why. Asking again. Trying to understand options when none of the options felt good.
I was the one learning how incredibly vulnerable it feels when your body, your birth, your baby, and sometimes even your choices suddenly feel like they belong to everyone except you.
I learned what it feels like to need someone to slow down and explain.
To need someone to remember that there is a human being underneath the hospital gown.
To need someone in the room who isn’t watching the monitor first, but watching you.
And. It changed me.
And inevitably, it changed the doula I am.
I wish I could have learned some of these things from a book or another certification.
I couldn’t.
There are things I understand now because I have lived them.
I know what birth trauma feels like from inside of it.
I know what it is like to love modern medicine deeply and still struggle with what happens inside medical systems.
I know what it feels like to advocate when you’re exhausted, terrified, emotional, and desperately trying to make the right decision for your baby.
I know what it feels like when someone takes five extra minutes to listen—and how much those five minutes can matter.
And I know now, more than ever, that families deserve support that doesn’t disappear when birth doesn’t go according to plan.
So I’m slowly finding my way back into the birth world.
Slowly is the important word.
I’m still healing. I’m still adjusting. I’m still figuring out what this next season looks like for me and my family.
But I am coming back.
And when I step into birth spaces again, I’ll bring everything I knew before…
along with 118 days of experience I never expected to have.
Birth doula.
Bereavement doula.
Birth trauma informed.
Pregnancy after loss trained and lived, experience.
And now,
NICU experienced—not because I took a class, but because I lived it. (All of it)
If you’re pregnant and looking for someone who will support you, educate you, remind you that your voice belongs in the room, and stay beside you when birth takes a turn you never expected—I would be honored to talk with you.
My calendar will be opening slowly and intentionally as I return to birth work.
And somehow, after everything…
I think I understand the meaning of holding space more than I ever have before. 🤍
Forever Rooted in every stage of motherhood.
With love,
Laura.
