Outlaw Sobriety

Outlaw Sobriety Describing addiction and living recovery

07/07/2025

Acting out of emotion is dangerous. No one is in control of their emotions. Have you ever cried uncontrollably? That seat of emotion is the image of God we are created in. So it makes sense that we can't control emotions any more than we can control God. But when we learn sobriety and recovery we accept the spirit of recovery. That higher power that our seat of emotion belongs to. When I start my day with God, my life becomes manageable. When I can get over myself and who I think I am, I give what God has given me, back to Him. I learn to love life in His purpose. His plan is better than mine.

06/13/2025

NOTE TO SELF: Thr is good in the worst of us and bad in the best. Magnifing the worst in others illuminates our own insecurities and shows the world the negativity in us. We are supposed to shine like the sun. But we are dark as fk to s***f out the light of another. Chill the fk out, u ain't the only one that lives here. Only God gives life. Stop thinking u know better than Him. Get over urself... ur arms are too short to box with God.

06/12/2025

Good Morning Bad Asses!
Life's too short for hatred. Clear ur head, forgive in ur heart n ur spirit will not follow, It will lead.

08/24/2022

HEARING GOD

I was told that hearing God comes in meditation. Of all the voices and thoughts in my busy mind He is there. But subtle and soft spoken.

When I was addicted I always believed in power and a heavy footstep to make sure my presence was known. I pushed weight and made a point of being recognized and respected.

Later I learned why I had such a hard time hearing God. I learned that God is so powerful, so overwhelming that He has no need to prove His presence. But imagine if He did. Imagine what kind of God He would be if He was assertive like me. His power would make the strongest of men tremble. So I could not hear Him bcuz I was so loud in my own prideful mind that God's still small voice could not be heard. Not bcuz He lacked power, but bcuz I lacked silence.

So in recovery I learned that true strength comes from humility and true power brings serenity. I should have known this already bcuz a wiser man than I told me "The loudest one is always the weakest one..." Those words were never as profound until I applied them to my addicted personality and compared them with the attributes of a loving God.

08/04/2022

Amends Is More Than "I'm Sorry..."

In my addiction, "I'm Sorry" was a common phrase. I remember the many times I would be looking thru my text messages to see who I insulted or hurt on my previous binges. What damage I needed to mend with suppliers or enablers. Because the only relationships I was genuinely concerned about keeping were the ones that fed my addiction or benefited my habits. So the phrase "I'm Sorry" became so superficial that its only purpose was to serve as a means of restoring my relationships that fueled my need for drugs.

When I came to recovery, my street mentality needed to be confronted and corrected. My amends that I owed (and they were many) would simply not be satisfied by saying "I'm sorry." I needed to learn how to live differently within myself to live differently toward others. So I learned that amends is more than a simple "sorry". No... Amends means that I will live differently toward others. I will not harm you again. I will not disregard your feelings. I will not disrespect your right to be you anymore. So I will therefore live a life towards you and others that reflects a changed man of principles and caring. I will nurture a healthy love and respect for you and others. And for those that I cannot make a formal amends to, I will live a changed life towards others for your sake so the damage you suffered from my actions was not in vein. Because hurting others is easy. Today I live to help others. This is the reality of strength thru surrender. Only God and my higher power can deliver the strength I once thought was weakness. God is right. I was wrong.

240lbs of solid recovery!! I was addicted for 37 years. Overdosed 6 times on pills, twice on heroine and once on fetynol...
07/29/2022

240lbs of solid recovery!! I was addicted for 37 years. Overdosed 6 times on pills, twice on heroine and once on fetynol where I died in front of my wife on a filthy street in Ensenada Mexico. If recovery can change this crazy skinhead biker it can change u too. Get in and just stay!!

07/18/2022

THE POWER OF SUGGESTION:

A new sponsee asked me; "Is it necessary that I tell the group I am a new comer and do I have to go take a welcome chip?" I referred him to the big book and said; "Here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery..."

The short answer is"no". Nothing in the program of recovery is absolutely required of anyone. Sobriety is not required of anyone. But when sobriety is desired then changes are required. The purpose of recognizing that we are a new comer is part of step 1. Admitting we are powerless over our addiction and our life has become unmanageable. This prepares us for the life changing steps ahead of us and for the blessed relationship we are to gain with God.

Taking that first chip is the pre purging of our introverted ways. It is the beginning of a process by which we gain wisdom of the self centered street mentality of addiction vs the new receiving and giving life of recovery. Once we are able to admit surrender to our addiction to others we can begin to heal. We learn to put others before ourselves and service begins to overcome selfishness, Courage begins to override fear, Strength begins to override weakness, and God begins to override self will.

Take that first chip to start your change. Soon, we will learn that we are not taking the following milestone chips for us, we are taking those milestone chips to show the other newcomers that this program of recovery works. If these steps can change my life, they can change yours. Because hurting myself and others is easy, but healing others is true strength, courage, wisdom and victory.

My book on Kindle Amazon. Check it out
07/09/2022

My book on Kindle Amazon. Check it out

07/06/2022

UNDERSTAND FEAR

I never understood that Fear played a major role in my life. In my addiction, my personality was self defined. But my self definition was far from what was real.

My self respect was injured so I demanded respect from others and that off balance instinct became pride. The underlying fear was not being respected by anyone. But that is a lie. FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL. Bcuz in recovery, I have learned that respect is earned and integrity and respect towards others are the working elements. I need not fear a lack of respect from others. Respect comes when it's given.

When I examine my character defects, accept them, and give them over to God, He exposes the fear behind each one that kept me in the addicted mentality. It becomes a hard pill to swallow when we learn how much our fears have infected our lives. But once we accept our fears, we can understand them. When we understand fear, we no longer live in chains of our own self prison.

Nothing worth while comes easy. But when fear is erased, our goals become realities. My goal today is to stay sober and help others to recovery. This is something my fears would have never allowed. But recovery has taught me that the real battle in life is not to conquer the world. Rather, the real battle is to conquer my own self will. God's will for my life is better than mine. To challenge my self and win is only accomplished by surrendering my will to the will of God. Thru God all things are possible. Thus is the victory of the ever elusive battle within.

06/21/2022

The difference between "recovering" and "recovered"...

The first forward of the Big Book says "WE, OF Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body." The word "Recovered" is used and suggests a past tense of recovery.

But page 85 tells us, "We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."

When I read this I thought it sounded like a contradiction. But reading it again and again with the surrounding wording tells me that we are recovered of a seemingly hopeless state of MIND AND BODY while page 85 says we're not cured of alcoholISM.

Now it makes sense. Our minds and bodys can and will become recovered from the effects of alcohol or drugs on most cases but the ISM of Alcoholism remains in recovery. Because the ISM in Alcoholism is what suffered the alcoholic/addict infecting our spiritualISM.

Therefore, we suffer a spiritual sickness. The drugs and alcohol I abused in my addiction were only side effects of my spiritual condition. But my addiction itself was my infected spiritualism.

That is why it is a daily reprieve CONTINGENT on the MAINTENANCE of my Spiritual condition.

If I lived to be 100 years old, my mind and body will have been recovered long ago but my Spirit will always remain in recovery. Because recovery is never bought, it is rented. God is the property manager. And rent is due every day.

06/07/2022

I used to struggle with my amends. So many I need to make amends to are no longer here or I will most likely never see again. So I wrote letters to some and for others I prayed. But amends is not something synthetic. Amends is not applied with words. Amends is action. So today I live my life in serenity and peace toward others rather than chaotic and destructive to everyone. In my addiction, I only knew anger and fear. But in my addiction I thought that was my peace. To be ok with not being ok. Today I don't have to live that lie. So today I can live toward others the amends that I owe to some. Bcuz amends are not words that come and fade. To live in amends is to live an action of righteous life to share freely with others. So those I suffered are not in vein.

05/12/2022

Recovery changed my life but it did not change the world.

In my addiction I was locked into a life of despair, depression and fear. When I entered recovery my life rapidly began to change. But when I looked around me, I noticed that the world did not get better. Death still happened, darkness and evil is still very frequent. However, in my new life, my practices of dealing with a dark world were based on acceptance of the world, forgiveness, and a serenity that calmed my self awareness. Whereas in my addiction I projected blame on the world and justified my addiction. I learned quickly that I would rather face the world with a sober consciousness than run from it in oblivion. When I practice the principles of recovery in my life I am able to see the beauty in the world that outweighs the evil of the world. Therefore, recovery did not open the gates of heaven and let me in. Recovery opened the gates of hell and let me out.

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