Plum Counseling & Wellness, LLC

09/26/2024

Stressed out? Snappy? Try this proven method to breathe your way to your inner Zen.

Learn how to use neuroscience to access your inner "chill out" system to calm your fight or flight response.

04/03/2024

Sometimes wisdom drops in your inbox at the exact moment you need it... this is what happened today for me with Dr. Laura Markham's excellent newsletter. Love how she breaks this down!

You don't need threats, punishment or yelling for your child to listen to your limits. These 8 tips change everything to get your child to listen to you.

02/17/2024

This has really changed the way I think about setting boundaries, particularly with my kids. A request asks them to do something (which might be beyond their skill set or emotional capacity at the moment), while a boundary tells them what *I* am going to do.

Boundaries shift me back into that position of sturdy leadership (hey-o Dr. Becky!) whereas a request leaves my kids in the driver's seat on whether or not they'll comply. I like Hailey's idea of starting with a request and then moving to a boundary if needed!

For example, my kiddo was on his tablet and it was time to go play. I said, "screen time is over - can you please turn it off?" He was too engrossed and couldn't disengage from it on his own, so I had to move to the next step.

I could either a) repeat the "request" again till I got *real* annoyed - "turn that off now! I already told you screen time was done!" or b) set a boundary - "okay bud, you're having a hard time turning that off, so I'm going to come get it and put it away for you."

What I love about this is that it assumes benevolence (one of my favorite skills for healthy relationships). I'm not assuming that he's ignoring me or being intentionally defiant; I think, "wow, he's really into that game and doesn't want to stop playing. That makes sense, but I know too much screentime isn't good for him, so I'm going to help him make that transition."

Try this out today - instead of asking your kids to do something again, shift into telling them how you're going to help them follow through. It takes some practice, but I find it to be much more effective!

Do you ever feel like your boundaries just aren’t working—and no matter how many times you set them, the people in your life aren’t listening? If so, watch out⁠: you might be making requests or giving ultimatums instead of setting boundaries. Here’s the difference. If your boundaries aren....

08/17/2020

Super excited to have an article published with one of my favorite HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) websites, the Highly Sensitive Refuge! I talk about the interplay between high sensitivity and postpartum anxiety, my own experiences after my second son was born, how to recognize some of the symptoms of PPA, and some strategies for coping with feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated by your kids.

The more I delve into the world of HSPs and maternal mental health, the more connections I see between the trait and postpartum anxiety/depression for so many mothers - I hope that this article is helpful for other HSP mamas out there!

https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/postpartum-anxiety-postpartum-depression/

I'm an HSP with postpartum anxiety and depression, and the one seems to magnify the other.

06/22/2020

Wonderful read for anyone who is pregnant right now and struggling with all of the unexpected changes and uncertainty due to COVID - written by my friend and colleague, Ashley Clark Comegys.

https://www.ashleycomegys.com/exhale-a-blog-for-womens-mental-health/this-isnt-what-you-expected-pregnant-during-a-pandemic?fbclid=IwAR1pLDxkDkg37LOxfjPqxcwPuAjijjbFs-tY2GRhQRKFC8FdijzYsH2URJs

Being pregnant during COVID-19 is hard. You may be feeling grief & loss about the experience you thought you'd have. Learn more from an online therapist.

06/03/2020

It feels like there's an expectation that mental health professionals should be a blank slate and not reveal much about their own views, opinions, and experiences, but I want to assure my community that I am actively taking a stand against racism in my business and in my personal life.

I pledge to create a space where black people and other people of color can speak authentically, where their voices are heard and their experiences are honored.

I pledge to continue the personal work of educating myself about true black history and the systems and beliefs at work within our country that continue to harm black people every day. I will also work to uncover and correct my own hidden biases, ignorance, and prejudices so that I am a better white neighbor, friend, and person.

This business stands in solidarity with black people and people of color.

06/01/2020

Thank you to Sarah at The Doula Guild for featuring me in a guest post about common symptoms of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders - I hope this is helpful to some new mamas out there!

You just brought your sweet baby home a few weeks ago, and your days are spent in a haze of snuggles, sleepiness, and spit-up. You’re trying to soak up this magical newborn time, but you find yourself crying at the drop of a hat, acting moodier than a teenage girl, and feeling so overwhelmed that ...

05/28/2020

Pumped to have my latest article featured in Motherly!

https://www.mother.ly/life/newborn-up-all-night

Here's how to take care of yourself when the baby is Up. All. Night.

05/25/2020

“You are not working from home. You are at home, during a crisis, trying to work.”

Let’s give ourselves the grace and compassion to remember that we’re doing the best we can with the resources we have - and it’s probably more than enough.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/24/opinion/coronavirus-parents-work-from-home.html

We’re homemakers, stay-at-home parents and paid workers. All at the same time.

05/14/2020

If you hear crickets when you call your kid's name, or if turning off their show creates a huge showdown, try this quick method to help end the struggle!

Getting our kids’ attention can be a challenge, but this quick method can help them tune back in - without causing a blowup!