25/06/2026
The Relationship > Religion
I grew up in a Southern Baptist Church. Early in my childhood, I didn’t go to church every Wednesday and every Sunday with my family, as is the expectation in a Southern Baptist Church. Truthfully, we went during the Christmas season for the annual Christmas play, we went every Easter Sunday, and I attended Vacation Bible School every summer. Other than that, we weren’t regular attenders, although my parents were both believers. As I got into later elementary school and middle school, I started attending youth group more on Wednesday nights and would go with friends on Sunday mornings. As I got into high school, we started going together more as a family.
I have vivid memories of youth group things from church: many trips to Carowinds, memorizing the Books of the Bible and the plaque that I still have for doing so, Sunday school classes in the very creepy basement, youth group meetings in the Fellowship Hall, the time my friend stepped on a mouse during a Wednesday night youth group and then screamed so loud that she interrupted the worship service that was taking place in the sanctuary, our many renditions of the “The Old Rugged Cross”, “Victory in Jesus”, and countless other hymns, potluck lunches in the Fellowship Hall, Baptisms in the Scarbro pool, youth pool parties, singing in the choir, acting in the Christmas plays, participating in VBS, working VBS, all of the adults who poured into us kiddos, and the list could go on and on. Truly some special, special memories!
What I remember about the preachings and teachings of the church: you ALWAYS wore a dress to church (except for VBS-casual clothes were fine), the King James version of the Bible was the only Bible that would lead you to heaven, traditional hymns were the only thing that should ever be sung in a church, Baptists were probably the only denomination that was right/holy, and basically, there were a lot of rules. Don’t get me wrong-I did learn that Jesus is my Lord and Savior, and being saved is your only way to get to Heaven. I was also baptized because I knew that it signified my “rebirth”! I took a lot away from that church. I very much loved and appreciated all of the people from that time in my life that poured into me. That church is also where my dad, along with my grandparents, great grandparents, and a ton of other friends and relatives are buried. It will always hold a very special place in my heart, but as I’ve grown older and matured in my faith, I think I have come to realize that in that church I was taught about religion, and I’m now learning that the relationship (with Jesus) is much better and more important than the religion! Basically, Jesus > Relgion!
As a Senior in high school, my dad was diagnosed with a malignant, inoperable brain tumor. He was told that if he had surgery, he would have a 50/50 shot of being blind and paralyzed. He opted not to do the surgery. He chose instead to do an alternative treatment in Texas. Unfortunately, that treatment did not prove to be successful for him, and within 3 months of his diagnosis, he passed away. It was during those 3 months, and in the times that followed, that I experienced change in my thoughts concerning religion and my relationship with Jesus. Truthfully, my strong belief in Him is the only thing that got me through that time in my life, and carried me into my adulthood, but it made me realize that you can have that relationship with Jesus apart from religion.
My dad passed away in March of my Senior year of high school. That August I went away to college. In those four years of college, I learned a lot about life, a lot about myself, and grew into the adult that I am today. I was a member of FCA (both in high school and college), but I wasn’t a regular church attender in college. I did find Bible studies that I participated in and was very lucky that I surrounded myself with very faithful friends.
During my Senior year of college, I met my now husband, who was raised in a Catholic church. As our relationship progressed, we started attending church together, and during that time in our lives, we attended a Wesleyan Church, and we were actually married in a Wesleyan Church. Once we moved to Ringgold, Virginia, we found a church home, which was a Southern Baptist Church. This church saw the birth of both our children, and our first child, Taylor, took his first steps in that church. We moved again to our now home in Roanoke, Virginia, and we now attend a more contemporary church, but it is also part of the Southern Baptist Convention, but a lot of the rules that were taught in my childhood church don’t necessarily apply. In fact, if you come to church with me on a Sunday morning you will probably see more casual clothes than dress shoes, you will see people wearing hats, you will see more NIV Bibles than King James, and you will see a praise and worship band on stage versus a choir and traditional hymns.
I say all of that to say, does it really matter? Does it really matter what the “rules” are for the different churches and denominations? Does it matter what the church service looks like? My opinion is no…what truly matters is the Bible and our personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
To me, our relationship with Jesus is far greater than any religion! I don’t say any of this to upset anyone. I have friends who are believers from various different denominations, and some who very rarely attend a church. Truly, I don’t care what denomination you are, what version of the Bible you prefer, what worship music you sing, what you wear to church, the style of the preacher you prefer, how often you go to church, etc. What truly matters to me is your heart and your relationship with Jesus.
When my dad got sick, my entire view of the world changed. I remember when he got out of the hospital (after his initial diagnosis) and he was sitting at home in his infamous recliner. He looked at me and he said, “I know there is a God, and I’m not scared of dying. I’m scared to leave you, your brother, your sister, and your mom here without me!” From that point forward, my view of religion changed. Dad didn’t go to church every single time the doors opened, but he was a hard worker who loved EVERYONE, and he had a relationship with Jesus. He didn’t always share about this relationship publicly, and he was far from perfect, but those that knew him knew his love for Jesus because it was reflected in how he treated everyone around him. He was truly the hands and feet of Jesus!
I share this with you because it is my heart, not because I am perfect or live each day sin free. Ya’ll, I am a black-hearted sinner, but thankfully I am saved by His grace! Jesus is the reason. He’s the reason for everything. Live like Jesus. Love like Jesus. Develop a relationship with Jesus. Continually strengthen your relationship with Jesus.
“And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us; We know it by the Spirit he gave us.”
~1 John 3: 23-24
