10/06/2025
This weekend I attended an event in Los Angeles called Come Home to You led by .sherrie and . Both help people heal from parental estrangement — something that’s shaped most of my adult life due to profound childhood abuse.
During Josh’s breathwork workshop, my body broke open. He had to physically pull me out because the pain was too much — decades of abuse, denial, and silence came rushing up all at once.
It’s hard to describe what that kind of pain feels like. It’s not just sadness. It’s anger, terror, grief, and disbelief all at once. It’s realizing you’ve been suffering your whole life while your family avoids you and caters to your abusers.
That kind of pain doesn’t just disappear. You learn to live with it, but you suffer tremendously, both physically and mentally. That pain has robbed me of being able to find safety and happiness throughout my life, regardless of how hard I try. Josh held space for me — literally — while I shook violently and cried in a way that terrified me. I told him if I let this out it will never stop. He didn’t flinch. He just held my hand and held my pain.
This workshop cracked open the door of releasing the pain, but I don’t know if I’ll ever fully release it all. However, in that moment, I felt safe in my pain. That is something I never experienced in my childhood. My pain was always perfectly hidden behind threats, while my outward appearance was always perfectly curated by lies. I am working on authenticity. It’s scary. I don’t really know how to be “me”, but I’m learning.
If you’ve been through abuse that everyone else denies, I see you. I feel you. I am you.
Healing hurts. But not healing hurts more. It’s a journey. Thank you, Dr. Sherrie and Josh for holding me, and everyone in our healing “family” during this moment of profound release and healing. I am eternally grateful to you both. ~MA
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