10/09/2026
What really happens when you sit in silence and put away distractions.
First, let’s get one thing out of the way. Our brains need to unplug. The constant noise we are surrounded by every day through cell phones and constant engagement is not how humans have existed for most of our history. Unlike our ancestors however, modern humans are very uncomfortable with quiet.
What makes it uncomfortable is when we sit in silence, our brains get loud. Our thoughts fill the void left when distractions go away. That’s why we crave distraction. Alone with our thoughts feels too vulnerable. Most of us don’t like what’s going on between our ears and we will do anything to drown it out.
Before we talk more about what’s going on when we get quiet, there is one thing we need to discuss. Not every thought that you are consciously aware of was created by you. I’m not saying that it did not originate in your brain. I’m saying that not every thought was a conscious choice. Many were the result of algorithms the brain has been running since you were born. To understand the mental noise when we get quiet, we need to understand these processes.
The first one I want to discuss comes to us through the work of Marilyn Murray on trauma. It’s called the tape recorder. Imagine from the time you were born to your mid twenties, there is a tape recorder that is recording everything you experience; what was said to you, what was done to you, messages from parents, friends, and culture. Then at some point the play button is pressed. The end result is an internal dialogue playing back messages from your past, messages you’ve internalized.
The second process is what I like to call the random thought generator. Everyone experiences random thoughts that pop into our brain for no good reason. Have you ever had an intrusive thought, a thought that seems to come from nowhere and is often disturbing or odd? For example, I could be having a conversation with a close friend and think “I should pour this water on their head.” The thought lasts for a millisecond before I push it down, but it was very real. Sometimes the thought is disturbing, sometimes funny, but always intrusive. That’s the thought generator at work. It’s almost as if the brain is testing us to see what we will pay attention to. If we pay attention to it more than just mere noticing, the brain tends to produce more of it.
The final process is the stream of consciousness. Think of this like the commentator on your life. Everything is analyzed, sorted, prioritized, and examined. Why did I have that thought? Is that true? Am I really good at this or am I faking it? The stream of consciousness is rarely if ever quiet, and when outside distractions are minimized, it takes center stage and is given a microphone.
These processes create a cacophony of noise that can make quiet solitude feel impossible. However, if you can push through the noise, the brain eventually quietens down and is able to rest. There is a long list of benefits to doing this, but in modern culture, we rarely access it.
So how do we push through the noise? First we have to consider the location. Nature is a fantastic location for solitude. Trails, waterfalls, open fields, and streams provide backgrounds for these experiences. Indoor spaces, sanctuaries, and sacred spaces help as well. If all else fails, closed eyes, ear buds to drown out sound, and a comfortable seat can do the trick. Second, we must suspend judgement of our thoughts. The noise in our heads are just thoughts. They mean nothing on their own, and only grow when we give attention to them. Notice them but do not judge them. Recognize they are just thoughts, nothing more and nothing less. By putting them in the proper context, they lose power and quite down. Finally we need some patience. It will take longer than you want, but you will get there eventually.
By accessing this quiet space in your mind, you stand to gain focus, a clear mind, reduced stress, and reduced anxiety.
I hope this has not scared you away from seeking quiet solitude. I’m writing this to be honest about the real world experience. Quiet solitude, sounds on the surface like relaxation, and it is, but it starts with a battle. Don’t give up before the payoff.
