RED FLAGZ

03/11/2026

I just applied to law school, y’all. LAW SCHOOL!!!

03/11/2026

Honest question:
How many times have you heard someone say, “Why didn’t she just call the police?”

People ask this all the time.

But calling the police in a domestic violence situation
isn't just a phone call.

It can mean someone goes to jail.

And if he goes to jail…
you’d better be ready to leave.

But how do you leave
when he controls the money?

Where do you go
with your kids?

How do you survive
when everyone thinks he’s the good guy?

You already know he’ll break the no-contact order.

You already know he’ll tell everyone
that you’re “crazy.”

So while people ask:

“Why didn’t you call the police?”

Victims are asking a different question.

How will I survive?

The question shouldn’t be “Why didn’t she call the police?”
The question should be: Why did she have to live in fear in the first place?

01/30/2026

01/30/2026

True story…. 💜

12/11/2025

Let’s just call it what it is. It’s r**e. Coercing someone into having s*x with you is r**e and there isn’t any other way to label it. Forced s*x = r**e.

12/11/2025

I didn’t leave until I realized he never loved me at all. I was his supply and nothing more.

11/29/2025

Home made hot chocolate, cookies, and Christmas movies to start the Holidays. I hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving!

This holiday season I will be thankful for a peaceful home. No one will be yelling and screaming. No one will get belligerently drunk and break things. No one will hit me or lock me outside in the cold.

Since I left my abuser, the holidays have been a wonderful experience again. I wish I had known how amazing life would be when I left, when I was still afraid to leave my abuser. I want to encourage anyone who is stuck in their abusive relationship out of fear of the unknown. Leaving is scary, but it so much more peaceful on the other side.

💜 I wish you all a very Happy Holiday! 💜

11/13/2025

I did hide. I don’t think he sought professional help though. 👀

11/11/2025

Can they take your kids if you leave?

Today a young mother called me at work, frantic because she had applied for a no contact order againt her abuser. She was in tears wondering if there was any validity to his theats. I can’t give legal advice, but I did point her to agencies that can help her.

This is one of the most common control tactics abusers use — making you believe that if you walk away, you’ll lose your children.

That fear kept me stuck for a long time. But here’s the truth: civil court doesn’t work that way.

Custody isn’t decided overnight. The court looks at many factors before making a decision, and those decisions take time. An abuser can’t just walk into court and walk out with custody.

If you can’t afford legal help, there are resources available. In my area the YWCA and other free legal aid agencies can help with custody and family law matters for low-income individuals. Check with your local area to see what resources are available to you.

You don’t have to face this alone. 💜

11/08/2025

I was going through my old Facebook account and came across a post I had made. When I was married I worked 6 days a week. On Saturdays my ex had to “babysit” our children so I could go to work. So many times he would stay out to all hours of the night. I would stay up because I was so worried about him. I knew he was out drinking. I worried that he would have an accident or be arrested for DUI. I would stay awake until he came home. Most times I would get about 2 hours of sleep, if he came home and passed out. If he stayed up, he would be sure to keep me up too. So many times I went to work on Saturday with zero sleep. One Saturday I had to go pull his truck out of a ditch at 5am and then went to work at 7. Living with an abuser is hard. You live alone. You have to take care of your children and your spouse. I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish I knew that I could leave. That everything would be okay if I left. It was hard when I finally did leave, I knew it would be. But it took something so awful for me to finally leave. I left when it was my only option. I just wish that “then me” would have realized it never gets easier to leave, it only gets harder.