08/31/2026
There is a strange pressure that comes with being part of a high-achieving family: people assume that because you have resources, education, opportunity, and a successful career somewhere in the household, you must also have a successful family.
Those are not the same thing.
Medical families can experience fractured relationships, addiction, loneliness, resentment, mental health struggles, estrangement, parenting challenges, and grief. Sometimes all of that is happening behind a perfectly respectable family photo while everyone keeps showing up for work, school, call, committees, holidays, and everything else.
After nearly 30 years married to medicine, I think one of the most damaging expectations we carry is that we should be able to handle everything because we’ve already handled so much.
But some things cannot be organized, funded, scheduled, researched, or fixed into submission.
Sometimes a family has to admit: This hurts. We don’t know what happens next. And what we’ve always done may not work here.
I’m curious: What do you think physician families feel the most pressure to pretend is “fine”?