10/17/2017
This.
Me too.
When I was five I was climbing a pole at recess and a boy poked me in the v***a with a pencil. I felt upset and confused, but never told the teacher.
When I was 11, two 30-something men followed me around the mall until I alerted security that I was scared. I was told I shouldn't have worn such short shorts.
When I was 18 or 19 I was dancing at a bar on Spring Break. A guy walked by and stuck his hand up the front of my dress and grabbed me. I pushed him and he punched me in the face and almost broke my jaw. The police were called. I was told I should leave town ASAP because his friends saw what I looked like and the police were afraid his friends would come after me for reporting him.
Last Saturday, I was at the airport waiting in line at security and saw a man I've known for close to a decade. He's probably in his 60's, was friends with my Dad, and I used to wait on him and his friends at a bar where I worked for years. We started casually chatting. Throughout our conversation, he made multiple comments about how "in shape" I am and how "great I look." I wasn't comfortable, but I brushed it off. Then he made he a comment regarding how much money I used to make waiting tables, and proceeded to lean in toward me and say:
"You know it's because we were all chasing that tail, right?"
I was stunned. All I could manage to blurt out in the moment was, "Actually I think it's because I was really, really good at my job."
Rather than apologize, he was dismissive and said, "Oh don't make me sound like a chauvinist."
These are just a few of my many personal experiences where boys and men felt entitled to my time, attention, or body in some way.
And not only am I not alone, but I don't know a single woman who hasn't experienced harassment, assault, or feeling unsafe in her body in some way. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
To women of color, trans women, and non-binary folks who present as feminine, who are even more likely to be harassed and/or assaulted and less likely to be believed, I see you. I will stand by you and fight with you.
To the men, trans men, and non-binary folks who present as masculine who have stories, you are not forgotten.
To women who are thinking "me too," but not saying it, I understand. You don't owe anyone that sacred information.
To those of you who think that because someone didn't say "me too" that she hasn't experienced harassment or assault, see above.
To the men who feel strongly about this topic because they have a wife, sister, mother, or daughter whom they love dearly, I need you, WE need you to give a s**t about all women, not just those to whom you are related, and we need you to take ACTION (more on that below).
To the men who want to "protect" us, we don't need your protection. We need your respect, and we need you to take action (more on that below).
To those of you who are surprised by all of the "me too" posts, there's a good chance you're complicit in this behavior.
To those of you who needed to see a certain number of "me too" posts before you got it, I don't think you'll ever get it.
To those of you who *still* don't think harassment, assault, patriarchy and r**e culture are real -- I need you to take a very close look in the mirror and ask yourself if maybe, just maybe, you're part of the problem?
[CONCRETE ACTIONS TO TAKE]
Here is an incredible post from Nicole Stamp originally written for the men she is friends with (although these tips can be used by all genders):
https://www.facebook.com/nicole.stamp/posts/10156116595689341
Thank you to Tarana Burke for starting this movement:
https://twitter.com/TaranaBurke
