03/03/2026
Copious lines of text reflected back to me a version of myself I hardly recognized. It had been a while, many years in fact, that I had revisited the therapy forms and documents that I send to first-time clients. I needed to make some updates and I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Who was this person that wrote these words and compiled these paragraphs that read like they were reading someone their Miranda Rights. I barely recognized her....the anxious, burned out, albeit determined and hard-working woman, SO focused on professionalism, liability with fearful undertones, and an aura of self-importance in her work. Her words echoed the century old tabula rasa or “blank slate” approach to therapy. That a therapist should be neutral, unmoving, entirely objective and opaque. My words felt cold and distancing.
The gap between when I wrote those words to who I am now, was immense. I felt grief and I felt compassion...for her. In my mind's eye, I allowed myself to wrap this part of me from the past in a blanket of warm light, reassuring her that she can relax, she can let go, she can finally be herself because the me of today trusts myself completely to do so.
Sure, I have grown professionally overtime, but I have also sought to heal the parts of myself that were hiding behind my position of power as a therapist, more masculine views of success and what "effective therapy" should look like, focusing more on pathology than the person in front of me.
Whether it's a popular view or not, my work in the world is becoming more intuitive, feminine, embodied, non-pathologizing, community based, authentic and real. And, the rewards my friends,... more connection, more freedom, more joy and more healing.
I hope as you read this you are inspired to reflect on the places your own life is being touched by patriarchal views that oppress meaningful parts of yourself or others, whether in your family, your job, your church or inside your very own heart and mind. There are a lot of reasons to feel helpless right now and it’s also possible there are real opportunities for change right under your nose.
Thanks for listening.
In liberation,
Carrie
xx